Casanova Page #5

- Perhaps I've come at a bad time.

- No. No, Your Excellency. We're delighted.

I should have sent word,

but since I've just arrived in Venice

and as your husband, the late ambassador,

was so regarded by the Holy See,

the pope was anxious to be remembered.

Allow me to introduce

my son-in-law-to-be Signor Papprizzio.

- Signor Papprizzio.

- Bishop.

- My daughter Francesca.

- My dear.

What is the pope's most feared inquisitor

doing in Venice, Bishop Pucci?

Francesca...

No, no. I'm delighted

that my reputation precedes me.

The Vatican sent me

to deal with moral problems.

- What kind of moral problems, Bishop?

- The usual. Fornication, heresy.

How exactly does

the Church define heresy?

Francesca!

I hardly think heresy

is a fit conversation for a young lady.

Why? Can't we be heretics?

I think my fiance, Bishop Pucci,

wishes to learn more from you perhaps.

If you please.

Very well.

Heresy is an affront

to the teachings of the Church.

It is a rebellion against

our mores and our morals.

More to the point,

and you will understand this,

since you are a woman

and understand women's ways,

hence the concept of "whim",

heresy is whatever I say it is.

For example, that writer fellow,

Bernardo Guardi, he is a heretic.

And why is that?

Vittorio, where is the tea?

Guardi's words

cause women to feel dissatisfied

- and men to doubt their manhood.

- Really?

If you are an admirer of this Guardi fellow,

I have some very sad news for you.

He's written out.

My colleagues are scouring

the streets for him as we speak.

I'm so sorry.

- Bishop, will you take tea?

- Thank you, no. I have people to see.

Signorina Bruni.

May I have the honor

of accompanying you to the carnival ball?

But I've done nothing wrong.

I'm innocent!

You've got the wrong man! Let me go!

Come on. Come on.

I have an urgent message for you

from Bernardo Guardi.

Who are you?

Never mind. The Chief Inquisitor from

Rome is here and he is out for blood.

- Delay publishing the new pamphlet.

- You're a little late.

Oh, my God. Stop selling it.

- Sorry.

- That's what it says. The pig.

- Well, I've always owned pigs.

- Oh, tit.

Right.

Now, make sure it's ready

in time for the ball.

Ah. Master.

- How's the treatment going?

- Well...

- Is he any better?

- Yeah, well...

It's impossible he could look any worse.

Is that you, Maestro?

Maestro Guardi, is that you?

- Hello. Who's there?

- Good God. You achieved the impossible.

- Thank you.

- What have you smeared all over him?

- Lard, mostly. Mint jelly.

- Hello?

- A few coffee grounds.

- Yes. Coffee grounds. Well done.

- Signore.

- Is it you, Maestro?

- Yes, Papprizzio.

- How do I look?

Well, let's see.

Yes. That's very good.

It's coming along quite nicely.

I've been asking your man for a mirror.

He can't seem to find one for me.

- Oh, well... Lupo, mirror?

- I can't find one anywhere.

After application of all your techniques,

I'm terribly anxious to check my progress.

- Yes, of course.

- Yes.

Oh, there you are, Fulvio. Good man.

God.

It's working.

- It's working, isn't it?

- Yes.

- It's working.

- Yes, indeed.

You took my regrets, of course,

to the house of Bruni?

Yes.

- Good. Bad weather or some such?

- Yes. Of course I did.

What of Francesca? I told her

I'd take her to the carnival ball,

but I do think I need just a bit more time.

Yes, I think you're right.

You do need some more time.

- Listen. Don't worry. I'll handle that.

- Good man.

You relax.

Lupo, a little more around the belly.

Yes, Lupo. More on the belly.

Signore, Bishop Pucci wishes to see you.

Of course.

My name is Bernardo Guardi,

but I'm not the Bernardo Guardi.

Come along now, Bernardo.

There's no shame in being a writer.

Let's play a little game, shall we?

I'll read you a sentence and you finish it.

"A woman is air and..."

And what, Bernardo?

I don't know. Trouble?

No. No.

Wind? Air and wind?

No. I'll give you a little clue, shall l?

It's not the tea I object to.

It's the water.

So, Signor Papprizzio,

how well do you know Casanova?

Be careful how you answer.

I could become interested in you.

I was less than...

I was less than frank at Signora Bruni's.

It is Casanova I have come here to hang.

That fornicator who spits upon

the teachings of the Church.

Are you following me? Good. So why

did you go with Casanova to his house?

- I'm renting it from him.

- You're renting it?

- It's strictly business, of course.

- Business.

I believe he went

out of town for a day or two.

- Out of town?

- Yes.

Well, if I know anything, he's hardly

likely to absent himself from Carnevale.

Signor Papprizzio, if you'd help put an end

to this fornicator's career for good and all,

believe me, the Church

will be very grateful.

How grateful?

The lard concession at the Vatican.

Which is a lot of lard.

That's quite an attractive offer.

So we have a deal?

You will help deliver Casanova unto me?

As sure as my name is Papprizzio.

- Excuse me, Your Reverence.

- No.

This Bernardo Guardi we're racking,

I don't think he is the heretic.

I think someone is just using his name

- as a nom de plume.

- A nom...

Don't be clever, Andolini.

What do you mean you think?

The Inquisition is not paid to think. Be sure!

Well, I am pretty sure.

He can't read or write.

Lupo! Lupo!

- There is no lover!

- What?

- There is no secret lover.

- What?

She never had one.

Carnevale.

Talked of pigs all week.

- Darling, have you seen my husband?

- I am your husband.

- Any sign of Casanova, sir?

- I don't know what he looks like.

But he's bound to be here.

He wouldn't miss the carnival.

Signor Papprizzio.

See? Everybody's here.

We just have to find them.

Victoria?

Victoria!

Good evening, sir.

Signor Pizzani and Signora.

You're welcome.

Signor Papprizzio of Genoa

escorting Signorina Bruni.

You're welcome.

Signor Dandolo and Signora.

You're welcome.

- Signor Papprizzio.

- Mother Bruni.

We must introduce you

to everyone we know.

Yes, this should be interesting.

- Will you do me the honor, signora?

- May l?

- Well, I'm free.

- l...

- Be my guest.

- Watch this.

Signor Casanova,

I have a message from your fiance.

- Ah, which one?

- Signorina Donato.

She's in the piazza.

She's waiting for you to escort her in.

Good Lord!

Come.

Don't worry.

You're not my first virgin.

- Victoria.

- Casanova.

Something is not right.

Do we have the address

of Casanova's house?

Then I think now is the time

for positive action.

Lord and Lady Devonshire.

You're welcome.

Signor Casanova

and Signorina Donato.

Signor Casanova.

Enchanting.

I'm so very pleased for you and me.

- When's the wedding?

- Soon, Your Grace.

You're welcome.

Ambassador Gritti and Signora.

- My darling.

- Giacomo, where can we go?

- Find somewhere.

- Find somewhere? No, no.

- I can't wait any longer.

- Sit down. Very good.

Wait here and I'll come back

with a glass of wine.

- Casanova.

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