Cassanova Was a Woman Page #4

Well, this...is big for me.

I mean...I'm gonna say it.

You could be air to breathe for

me.

I could be with you for the rest

of my life.

Whoa!

That's intense.

My God! I'm such an idiot.

It's too soon.

You're married. We just met.

I wanna throw up.

Your eggs!

Oh Jeez, I'm not even hungry.

Neither am I.

I shouldn't have said anything.

No, you should've.

It's what you are feeling.

But--

- I'm glad you said it.

But your reaction--

My reaction was what it is.

That is intense, but it doesn't

mean

I don't totally appreciate it

and

really love it.

Love it? Would you be my

girlfriend?

What?

Well, I don't know. Do you wanna

have my pin and go to a drive in

movie for an ice cream soda?

What is this Happy Days -

Lesbian style?

I don't know what I'm saying.

Listen to me,

I don't know what I'm gonna do

about my marriage

'Cause it ended long before I

met you.

I can't cheat on him because

I love him too much for that.

I...I just need time.

It's kinda weird, this situation

being with a woman. It's weird.

Can we just take it slow...for

now.

I'm gonna be crushed.

What? Don't say that.

What if right before

you've been crushed,

you had the time of

your life?

I still would have been crushed.

But it would have all been worth

it.

Obviously, you have never been

crushed.

We're gonna be late.

- Yeah c'mon, let's go.

We didn't even touch our food.

- I am still not hungry.

I am!

But not for food.

[Cassanova narrating]

What kind of corny ass sh*t

is that to say!

Jesus Christ, when the hell am I

gonna kiss her?

You know, I still owe you that

kiss.

I know.

What am I, 12?

What are you so nervous about?

So what, she's a woman!

Kissing someone is kissing

someone.

When will you ever get a chance

like this?

Okay, let me think.

When am I going to be able to do

this?

I wonder what kind of a crowd

we're gonna have today?

Okay! That's it, NOW!

Cass, hold on a second,

hold on a second.

What?! I told you I owed you

that kiss.

I know and although this is all

very sexy and everything,

I just need a moment to recover

from this concussion.

Sorry.

No problem.

Now call 911.

[party blower]

Guess what, honey?

I got the job in Miami!

I'll be a professor at the

University of Miami!

Can you believe it?

My dream job!

I'll end up where I

started in Miami,

but I'll be with my family

and friends,

this is too good to be true;

we can buy a house,

we can have our kids--

I'm not going to Miami.

You could get a job on one

of your mom's soaps,

great weather, we can go to the

beach whenever you want to--

What do you mean you're not

going to Miami?

Just what I said, Peter.

You know, I'm so happy for you.

I am ecstatic. That's awesome.

Fantastic, fantastic. But

I'm not going to Miami;

I hate Miami.

Oh, you don't hate Miami.

Peter, don't tell me what I like

or don't like.

I never liked Miami

and you know it.

But it's my dream job!

- Yes, yes.

Yes, it's your dream job, but

not mine.

Besides, there's not guarantee

that my mom can get me job on

one of her soaps.

What am I supposed to do here?

I can't get a job here.

Well, I have a job. As a matter

of fact, I have two jobs.

Oh yeah, right.

Waking up at 3:
30

in the morning everyday

to report on the

traffic news.

How will they ever get around

without you?

And the black box theater? Ooh!

C'mon Cass, when are you

going to

let go of this acting thing

and start a family?

When am I going to let go of

this acting thing?

Who the hell are you and what

have you done with my husband?

Peter, you know I have been

acting forever.

Way before we met

and I will continue to act.

Okay?

And besides, macho man,

when are you going to let go of

this 'teacher thing'?

Why is it that I have to let go

of anything?

Why is your job more important

than mine?

C'mon Cass, I didn't mean it

like that.

- Yes, you did.

What the hell do you want me to

do? I can't turn down this job.

You do what you have to do.

[sighs]

There's nothing for me in Miami.

- But what are we going to do?

You're my wife.

Peter...

I think we should talk about

this marriage

and the direction

it's headed.

[Peter sighs]

What are you saying?

[sighs heavily]

I want a divorce.

No. Okay? No.

[laughs] No.

- Peter.

- No.

- Listen.

- No.

No! No! NO! NO!!!

Peter, we've been arguing

non-stop for two years.

What kind of marriage is this?!

I still love you, Cass! How can

you do this?

We were supposed to spend

the rest of our lives together!

I know, Peter. I still love you

too, but

I think I'm not "in" love with

you anymore. I'm sorry.

Why?

Why? I don't know why?

Because these things happen

sometimes!

People fall out of love

everyday.

Is it the sex?

[Exhales stressfully]

[loud awkward moaning]

[awkward moaning continues]

We haven't had sex in like two

months.

That's because my feelings

are changing, Peter.

There's something else going on.

There's something that you're

not telling me.

Why can't your ego just believe

that I don't feel the same

anymore?

Look, I know there's something

else. I just know it.

Okay, okay.

If you have to know,

you have to know.

You're my best friend,

right?

You'll probably find out anyway.

There's someone else; I knew it.

I knew it!

Who is it?

I'm gonna f***ing kill him. That

f***ing creep!

Is it that director you're

working with?

I'll just f***ing kill him!

I've seen the way he looks

at you.

Don't think that you're

putting one over me.

No! It's not the director!

- Then who is it?!

C'mon! Spit it out.

Who is he?!

It's not a he.

What?!

It's not...

a he.

What do you mean

'it's not a 'he? '

What the hell

does that mean?

It means

it's a she.

Cass, what are you saying?

What do you think I'm saying?

What? Are you telling me that--

Are you f***ing lesbian?

Ssh, keep your freaking voice

down!

It's bad enough they have to

listen to all our arguments,

now you're outing me

to the whole neighborhood?

I'm gonna have a nervous

breakdown.

What the hell is

going on?

Cass, you're NOT a lesbian.

I know, I know.

I don't understand it myself.

It's just...these feelings all

of a sudden--

- What? What feelings?

Well,

you know Lola, right?

Yeah, I-- oh my God, you're

having an affair with Lola.

No, no, no. I'm not having an

affair.

Listen to me, Peter. I'm not

having an affair.

That's why I'm telling you this

because

I don't want to

cheat on you Peter,

and I want to end this

relationship with integrity.

Integrity? Is there integrity in

telling me that

all of a sudden,

now you're gay?

Will you stop thinking in

such black and white terms!

For someone with a Ph.d.,

you are so completely ignorant!

So, what is it then? What is it?

I have no idea.

Look, you think

this is easy for me?

I have a million things going on

in my head and

I'm all mixed up.

What I do know,

is that

our relationship ended long

before I met Lola.

You must have seen this coming.

You can be sure of the fact that

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