Catching Feelings Page #5

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I'll give you a blowj*b.

I'm afraid the answer's gonna

have to be no. Thank you, though.

Beautiful girl. Hello.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- I'm so sorry I'm late.

- It's all right...

Jackie, I don't know,

she was a bit temperamental.

- Did she spook or something?

- I think so.

That's my car.

Sorry about that again.

Were they taking care of you inside?

we need more wealthy black people.

I've invested millions

in black-owned businesses, you know?

And from time to time, I do cool things,

like teach poor black people

how to ride horses.

So, does that justify

what your accusers call

the rampant looting

of government contracts,

your relationship with the President?

Forbes reports your current wealth

at over 600 million dollars,

while most black South Africans are living

below the breadline.

How do you reconcile that?

Well...

I must say,

you are a very hot-looking lady.

Very hot indeed.

Actually, sizzling hot to be exact.

- Is it?

- You know, how about you stay longer?

We can discuss these questions,

let's say... over dinner?

My wives are very chilled.

- They will actually love you.

- You're a charming man,

and thank you for the compliment,

but if we could just stick on this.

Let's not digress.

As I said before, we can try.

Unless you can put a bag over your head

to cover that beauty

because it sure is distracting.

Want to check if we're recording.

- Would you rather do this over the phone?

- I'm being flippant here.

I apologize.

Please accept my apology. Please.

- So, can we continue?

- Yes, let's continue.

Why did you bring me here?

Check out my old stomping ground.

Where did you grow up?

Rustenburg.

Small town boy.

I read your novel again.

You're actually pretty talented.

- Thanks.

- If you're working on something,

I could pass it onto

my publishers in London.

- If you want.

- Yes, I'd appreciate that.

Yeah, see?

That's the nonsense right there.

- Where?

- Now Soweto is like a zoo

for wealthy white foreigners

to come and see the natives.

- Come on, man.

- Max, you must relax.

- That's my baby.

- There she is.

It feels like three seconds.

My God, you're so beautiful.

This is a very promising young writer,

Max Matshane.

And this is the love of ages,Ma Thuli.

- Honored to meet you.

- Pleased to meet you.

Enough about him. Now what about me?

Show me. Talk to me.

What have we got?

You look very hungry, I think I'll...

Oh, thank you. Yes, please.

Oh, come on, for fucksakes!

You want to play or f*** around?

- No, they're f***ing around.

- It's okay.

Don't f***ing tell me

it's a f***ing game.

He's wasting my f***ing time.

Look like sh*t, bro.

Maybe we should forfeit.

No.

We play. We play.

Sorry, guys.

Like, really?

It was a work-related...

outing.

He was, you know,

telling me about London publishers

he's linking me up with. It's...

You don't have an idea for a book yet.

Explain why you're looking at publishers.

Do you realize that you've been drunk

every single day this week?

Should I be worried?

Hey, look at me.

- Should I be worried?

- I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Okay.

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

You're clearly better.

Yes.

Can you come

to the poetry evening tonight?

It would be greatif we spent

some time together. Not get drunk.

- I don't like her poetry, I'm sorry.

- We've got to support her, that's it.

Gonna have another drunken night

with your best friend?

- Is that what you're going to do?

- I just want to chill.

You said it, I've been drunk every night

for the past week.

I really want to just chill.

Would just be nice if you made some effort

now and again, but...

Hey.

If you really want me

to go to this thing tonight,

I'll be there, okay.

I love you.

What? No. Who holds a book launch

this early in the day?

Is it a children's book?

I need support here.

I'm thoroughly outnumbered.

Excuse me. Good evening.

No, I really can't.

Come on, Max. Have a couple of drinks.

Arm yourself with some small talk

for the book launch.

"Sorry I'm late,I've just come from

Heiner Miller's place."

- No, I can't.

- What?

Get here.

Oh, no, brother. Not between these thighs.

Because my mind has no fright.

I don't fear your fists

because I have seen the pits.

I'm not yours to break.

My soul will never be your bread.

Died and burnt to ashes.

Reborn and saved by new passions.

Max. Welcome to my humble abode.

Do not speak, put that inside you.

Very humble.

These are my very close friends

whom I've met this evening.

I'm not sure if I should be here.

Some of these kids are in my class.

Max, don't be conservative.

Give them access to your mind.

Water their seeds of knowledge.

Mingle. Go, get busy.

In fact, this.

- How dare you stand there without a drink.

- Thank you.

Cheers.

You never read my manuscript.

Actually, I did.

And I was pleasantly surprised.

- Really?

- There's quite a lot going on in there.

- So you don't think I'm a chump?

- A little bit.

- Come on, you really liked it?

- I did.

I'm still reading it, but I'm enjoying it.

Not just saying that

so I'll sleep with you?

Excuse me?

Relax, Max. Come.

Hello.

Easy there, Shay. Leave some for me.

- There you go.

- No, I don't...

- You don't take Charlie?

- No Charlie.

- So you've never done any drugs?

- Well, weed. And...

Weed, yeah.

That is so cute.

Here, think of it as an education

from your students.

No.

- Hey, man, come on.

- Just try it.

Nobody's watching. Trust me.

- They all left.

- Try it.

You cannot compare Hitler to Shaka Zulu.

No, no, no.

Hitler was a weak little man,

a damaged individual,

whereas Shaka Zulu was a conqueror

akin to someone like GenghisKhan.

He had a whole nation named after him.

It is supposed to do this to my gums?

Just think about it for a second.

The reason that Shaka went around

impaling people

- is because he was gay.

- No, no, no.

Young lady, you cannot keep saying

that my king is gay.

That is grounds for heavy punishment.

- You cannot say sh*t like that.

- What will you do? Impale her?

- That's funny.

- Please do.

What, no. You're funny as well.

You guys, watch out for the traffic cops.

- Bye, girls.

- Traffic cop season.

They'll be fine.

- And I also... I must also get...

- No, you can't leave.

Party isn't over.

I'm digging your company.

I too have dug your company.

Thank you for the drugs,

and the great company, but I have to go.

Max, you are not serious.

Sh*t.

- Your keys.

- Yeah.

Gonna need those.

I am a phoenix. Phoenix!

Phoenix.

I try to... With microfinance,

you've gotta find the human element.

That's what's missing.

I try to bring that to it.

- Hey, guys.

- Hey.

So, what did you think?

- Did you like it?

- She really hates men.

Come on. Hate is a bit of a strong word.

- I thought it was interesting.

- Are you coming to drinks afterwards?

No, I've got an early one.

Yeah, me too.

- Oh, okay.

- Where's your other half?

- Let's do tea or something next week.

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