Cattle Call Page #7

- I didn't think...|- Don't talk!

Just don't talk! L...

I don't know!

Can I talk now?

Thank you.

Look, Marina...|it's a mating call.

That's what it is. It's a mating call.

What? What are you talking about?

The casting call.|It was my mating call, you know?

Okay, you're crazy.

Yeah... No, I'm not cra...

I'm leaving. I'm leaving, okay?

- Bye!|- Bye.

...as an artistl|Hold onl Okay, wait, waitl

Marina, it's Nikita.

Okay, girls, I'm just gonna give it to you|straight, okay?

I'm not an actress.

I was assigned to investigate this case

because we got complaints|from some of the girls that came in

and auditioned for the guys.

"Complaints were filed against the|producers of the film Perfect For Me:

Richie Ray, Sherman Oaks,|and Glenn Dale. "

What?

"Actresses came in, auditioned,

"was invited to lunch,|was promised a part,

"got personally and intimately|involved with one of the guys.

"Then she was told|that because some financing fell through,

she was no longer in the film. "

And you're positive?

I mean, you're positive that these|are our guys from our movie?

If you look here,|the only "Perfect For Me" that exists

is a PerfectForMe. Com|internet dating service,

which I found on Dogpile. Com

I don't normally use the internet to date|'cause I don't need to.

I can't believe these guys!

And you'd be surprised.

This isn't the only time|things like this happen.

They happen all over the place,|all over the country.

Okay, so what do we do?|How do we get them back?

If you girls want in on this,

and you want to help me|with that, that's fine.

But I'm gonna bring these guys down.

You guys, I don't know.

I know a guy that breaks legs for cheap.

Well, good. We may need to hire him.

- I don't...|- Marina! You need to take care of yourself.

You're straight off the bus.

You don't know anything|about this business.

It's dirty and it's ugly.

I can't even believe|I was fooled by these guys.

Well, I can believe you were fooled by it.

- Are you in?|- I mean...

Marina, are you in?

I guess I am, yeah.

You guess you're in?

I'm in.

I mean, I'll do|what you need me to do.

- Power out.|- F*** those guys.

Listen, Richie, the girls|just called, all right?

They want to rehearse.

I say we do it, man.

Oh, that's... that's|a fantastic idea, Sherman.

In fact, why do we need|to rehearse?

Why don't we just shoot the movie?

You know what? Hold on.

I'm getting a beep, okay?|I'll be... Hold on.

- Hello?|- Hi. It's Marina.

Marina...

Richie, look,|I get what you were saying.

I understand the whole|"mating call" thing.

I mean, it's a little crazy, but...

I get it. And, um...

I'm not gonna tell anybody about this.

I think we should just|keep it between us.

But seriously,

I think you should|make this movie, Richie.

I really think that you|have a great script.

You have a great cast.

We're dedicated, and you|have the money, so...

It's... It's a good script.

I really think you should consider it.

But, you know, as far as we go,|there's no hard feelings.

I'm not mad.

Really?

Yeah.

Can you... Can you hold on?

Sherman. Hey,|how does tomorrow sound?

Well? Did he fall for it?

I think so.

That wasn't half bad, that acting job.

"Tizzyanna, I love|the lettuce on your lips. "

"Don't try to confuse me.|Marcello is mine. "

Script is awesome.

What we really feel like it needs

is just some more steamy|kind of sexual stuff.

Yeah, I mean, it'll really|help sell the film, guys.

I mean, especially|in the foreign market.

And I'm totally open to nudity.

Yeah, we wanna do, like,|some hard-core stuff.

When do we start shooting?

I guess what we're trying to say

is that, you know, we understand

that there aren't really men in the film.

What would be great is|if we could maybe use you guys

to practice the sex on.

We want to have sex with you guys|and videotape it.

I...

Okay, wait, wait.

Why do you want to do that?

Richie, the girls have a great idea here.

I mean...

Well, we just, you know,

want to watch it back and make sure|that it's good and...

And then have more sex.

Right? And watch it|and practice harder

and harder and again and again.

Uh, with us?

Oh, yeah, Over and over.

Like, in and out, and, you know,|whatever you guys are into.

I'm open to lots of things.

I've had sex with a midget,|so I'm game.

That's fantastic.

It's really common on movies.

A lot of times they have sex counselors,

and you guys would be, like...|kind of like our sex, like...

- counselors.|- Mentors.

Yeah, so then when we shoot the film,|it'll be, like, amazing sex.

Some of the juiciest movies had really|memorable sex scenes.

I don't know if you guys|saw Fatal Attraction or...

Like Water For Chocolate.

- End Of The Affair.|- Good one. Good one.

- Last Tango In Paris.|- Deep Throat.

Platoon.

Agony And The Ecstasy.

- Can't wait.|- Okay, boys.

This is your room and your key,|and this is our room.

And you're not allowed|to come out of your room

until we come and get you, okay?

We're just gonna go in|and, uh... wash up.

Maybe we should wash|our genitals as well.

- Do that.|- Okay.

Let's go.

Marina.

Is this what you really want?

What are you talking about?

Marina, come on!

What do you think is|really going on here?

Richie, sometimes you just|gotta learn to follow, man.

Women, they like that.

Makes them feel like they're in control.

Sherman, they are in control.

There are no towels in here.

Hello?

Are you boys ready for us|to come over and rock your worlds?

All right. Listen, how are we doing this?

Are you girls coming in|one at a time or what?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

We're gonna all come in|at the same time.

It's gonna be like a train.

I gotcha.

We're on! Take off your clothes!

They must never get laid.

Look at them. Never!

Because this is pathetic. This is so bad.

Are you taping this?|I want a copy of this.

Sherman, you can just take all three girls.

I can't do this.

I'll be thinking about you, Richie.

So which one was it?

Which one was what?

Which one of the guys was the one|that slept with that girl?

Why?

I don't know. I just...

curious, I guess.

It was Sherman.|It was Sherman...

the little f***ing cocksucker, okay?

How do I look?

Sherman, you should know

nothing's gonna happen between us.

I know. Relax, man.

Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Come on in! It's open!

This where they're making a movie?

Uh, Yeah. We're making it|with girls, though.

We are girls!

Wrong room.

No, this looks like|the right room to me,

but, hey, I thought there|was gonna be three of them.

- Two will do.|- Oh, yeah.

Action!

- Oh, yeah!|- No! No!

- Let's go! Party, baby!|- No! Get off me!

No! No! No! No!

Cue the cops!

Police!

Freeze! Put the whip down|and step away from his ass!

I didn't do anything.

Jackpot.

- Come on.|- I didn't do anything.

- Let's go, buddy.|- What are you doing?

- Right out the door.|- I'm innocentl

Yeah, rightl

I'll never survive in here, man.

You got to protect me.

You're gonna love it here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes