Ceremony Page #2

I was just there.

It's a big white house

with blue shutters.

Or maybe they're black.

Does that make any difference

whatsoever?

I'm not authorized

to give you...

No, you're the phone company.

You're supposed to know everything.

- There's no hot water.

- I'm sorry. I can't help you.

Oh, and I was just made aware

there's no hot water in the room.

How are you gonna run a hotel

with no hot water?

Anything else, Marshall?

There was a bit of hair in the drain.

And there was a full head of hair

in the drain.

So if you can get a maid up

or an electrician,

I would really appreciate that,

thank you.

I'm sorry, Marshall.

I'm just not gonna let

some two-bit Indian

treat me like a maniac, you know?

It's fine. I didn't even think

he really did anything.

Went completely numb.

Marshall, I apologize.

I know this was supposed to be

a very relaxing weekend,

your first weekend

being out of the house in a year.

I mean, your actions

were a little overwhelming,

but I'm just glad

that I'm unpacked and settled in.

If I could just take a chance

to relax for a little while.

Let's go to the pool.

You know, I've got

to tell you, I'm only on page 37,

but so far, I totally get

what you're saying about this guy.

I feel like it's written

about me or something.

It's kind of haunting.

You know what I think?

I think we need to get out of here

and have ourselves a drinky.

True or false...

you want to meet some women

on this trip, right?

I mean, true, but it's not the most

important thing in the world to me.

I mean, just sitting here

by the pool with you

is probably the most exciting thing

I've done all year.

Right. That's all the more reason

why we should keep pushing forward.

Look, see for yourself.

There's a very interesting thing

going on down the beach over there.

They're all old people.

Exactly, Marshall.

They're gonna love you.

It looks like a blast, man.

It's just...

I don't know if I'm ready to dive

into a stressful social situation

like that right now, you know?

That's the whole point

of the trip, Marshall.

We got to do this

for ourselves, for you.

This is your coming-out party.

Well, I guess we could stop by

for a minute,

but I can't exactly go over there

in my swim trunks, now, can I?

No. But you brought a suit, right?

Well, yeah, you told me

to bring one just in case,

but I'd have to sticky-roll it.

Well, sticky-roll that thing

and blow this joint.

Why are we

sneaking around like this?

We're not sneaking around.

We're being mysterious.

Look, Marshall, it's sunny out.

I still don't get what I'm supposed

to say to these people.

You just pretend like you fit in,

and you'll be fine.

It'll be like the time we went

to the Harmony Club

and took steam showers

with all those old guys.

They didn't question us, did they?

We just need to find somebody

who can help us get acclimated

to the party, you know,

ease into it a little bit.

Then when the time is right,

we'll peacock ourselves around

and show ourselves off

to some of these older women,

you know what I mean?

By the way, feel free

to make sh*t up about yourself,

like a job or something.

This guy's perfect.

Hey, excuse me.

Ahoy, amigo!

He seems kind of strange.

Let's go.

Wait, don't go anywhere.

Is there a problem, Officers?

I haven't done anything.

Let me ask you a question.

What's a guy like you

doing by yourself

when the party's over there?

Just hanging out

by the ocean, Officer.

Well, we're, you know,

down on the beach,

and your party's rattling

our walls a little bit.

What kind of dragon

do I have to slay

to get a drink around these parts?

Pow! Pow!

I'm really glad you guys are here.

I was getting a little bit bored,

to be honest.

Well, aren't these all your friends?

No, none of these people

are my friends.

They don't even like each other.

Huh, you can say that again, right?

That's why everybody drinks

and there are so many pills.

Hey, speaking of drinking, let's drink.

Hey, oh!

- Save some for me.

- Hey, there she is.

Hey, believe it or not,

but this one's been

in a ladies' prison, boys.

Really? That's funny.

So has Marshall. May I?

Oh, I love the flavor of this brand.

Very smooth.

Yeah, you'd like it a lot more

if you inhaled it.

No. I-I did.

Sweetie, look, dolphins!

It's terrible.

All right.

This is the smartest thing

we've ever done, by the way.

So, what do we do now?

What do you mean,

what do we do now?

Who do you like?

What girl?

I mean, she's kind of beautiful

in a sad kind of way.

Everybody here is sad, Marshall.

That's why we could really clean up

in a place like this.

However, I don't think

you should be focused on the maid.

I would focus on that redhead

over there, though.

She seems elegant.

She'd be lucky to have sex with you.

She's laughing at us.

Laugh back at her.

No, that's what these people

do here, Marshall.

They laugh at you.

That's why we could really clean up.

Because we're the young bloods.

You know what I mean?

Apparently, he arranged

a screening at some theater...

Uh, uh, I think I got something.

Let's go fishing.

Right. Right. I heard

it was her favorite movie.

"Brief" something or other.

- "Brief Encounter."

- What?

"Brief Encounter"...

the film you were talking about.

It's based on Noel Coward's play

called "Still Life,"

which came out in '36.

You guys might have been around

for that, actually.

- Who are you?

- Oh, I'm Sam Davis.

Nice to meet you.

I'm a published author of several

children's stories and such.

Oh.

This is my friend Marshall,

by the way.

- Marshall, say hi to the captain.

- Hi.

Tell them what you do, Marshall.

Oh, I-I don't actually

do anything right now.

I haven't really been

in a healthy enough state

to even fathom holding down

a real job, you know.

Marshall's a comedian, actually.

No. The truth is,

that I've just been going

through kind of a rough patch

right now,

and so I haven't really been

putting myself out there.

Just been too exhausted,

but, uh...

uh, when I do, I think

I might want to be an actor.

Or a sea captain.

How do you get into that?

Excuse me.

- Look at you.

- What are you doing here?

Oh, my God,

you look amazing right now.

Honestly, you are such a sight.

- Look at you in this light.

- Answer the question, Sam.

Have you grown?

I think you've grown.

Maybe it's just your posture,

but you seem a little taller.

I don't know...

Seriously, Sam, what the f***

are you doing here?

What are you talking about?

Your brother invited me.

- Why are you acting like this?

- You've never even met my brother.

That's not true, actually.

We just met down

on the other side of the beach,

and he invited me to come

and have a few drinks

and say hi, so I'm just saying hi.

You can't be here, Sam.

You have to leave.

Didn't you get my postcard?

Which postcard?

You send me a lot of postcards.

Why are you acting like this?

I haven't seen your face...

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