Ceremony Page #3

Hey, look at this.

- That's my sister, Zoe, man.

- Yes, it is.

Isn't she pretty?

Coincidentally, your sister and I

have already met,

and I agree...

she's completely beautiful.

- No.

- All right.

- So, Teddy, you met Sam, then, yeah?

- Thank you, Teddy.

- Yeah.

- Sam Davis.

Oh, Sammy Davis.

You sly fox, man.

No...

All right. Well, I'm gonna go

find your friend, man.

It's on me.

- You brought a friend?

- Yeah, he drives.

Listen, do you want to go somewhere

and get a drink?

Oh, my God.

No, I... no, I can't, okay?

- I would like to talk to you.

- No.

No, no, no, no.

You have got to leave now.

I'm not going anywhere.

Oh, there she is...

my beautiful, elusive woman.

Can I steal you away

to take a few pictures

with the photographer?

- Of course.

- Who are you?

Are you...?

This is Whit.

I'm... Whit, I'm Sam Davis.

Pleasure to finally meet you.

Sam.

I've heard many,

many things about you.

Zoe's told me many things.

- Oh. Big Sam.

- Mm-hmm.

Of course you are!

Come here! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Finally, a chance to meet

the famous Sam Davis!

Yeah.

Darling, you didn't tell me you invited

Big Sam for the weekend.

I didn't, but Sam's...

...not gonna stay very long.

Yeah, no.

I won't be staying long at all.

It's really just a funny coincidence,

because our hotel shares a beach

with your miniature castle over here,

and, uh, we ran into Teddy,

and he invited me to say hi,

so, just saying hi.

You'll have to forgive me,

but the way Zoe speaks of you,

I always sort of imagined

this tall, strapping fellow,

what with all the "Sam sent me this"

and "Sam wrote me that."

Right.

You're far slighter than I imagined.

Well, it looks like Zoe's telling you

some tall tales, then, I guess.

He is funny.

You were right.

Hey, you Mick, you've got a lot

of f***ing nerve showing up here.

Oh, come on.

Thanks for inviting me.

I will take out your f***ing

front two teeth if you keep this up.

- Isn't he something?

- What's with the little mustache?

What?

I forgot I even had it, actually.

Do you like it?

Hmm. I like you better without it.

F*** off, but do me a favor

and stay close by

'cause I want to talk to you

about the idea I just had.

I'm so sorry about that.

Bruce and I spearhead

the Little Foot Foundation together.

We made 10,000 pairs

of open-toed adjustable sandals

just last year

for poor African children.

Makes me feel good, you know?

Yeah, it should. Huh.

- You need a drink.

- Yeah.

So, tell me, Sam, where was it

you said you were staying?

My friend Marshall and I

are staying at this neat

little native American place

called "The Little Mohican Inn."

It's a fantastic place.

You guys should go

if you ever have an opportunity.

Now, listen, Sam, we've got

to take this photograph,

but it seems a bloody waste

for you and Marvin to stay

in that Indian sh*t hole

when we've got this big,

lovely house all to ourselves.

No. No, no, no, no, no!

Every room is...

- Aren't you gorgeous?

...full...

...in the house.

I'm sure we can find a place

for these two to bunk up in.

It's your rule...

the more the merrier.

You know, it's so rare

that we have the whole gang out

to celebrate

such a gorgeous occasion.

Oh, yeah, what is the occasion,

by the way?

You haven't told him, have you?

Of course I have.

No, no, no, no, you haven't told me.

I don't know what's going on.

Somebody, please,

tell me the good news finally.

Zoe and I are getting married

on Sunday.

Yes!

Married?! Really?

And it's my birthday!

That where I got...

And here, too.

You can't really see a scar, though,

because I have

an amazing plastic surgeon.

Excuse us for a moment.

Hey, pal.

- What am I, a f***ing waitress?

- Oh, my goodness.

I thought we made an agreement

to lie about ourselves.

Yeah, but I hate lying.

I'm terrible at it.

Oh, you'll get better, trust me.

Who are those people

you were talking to?

I think I recognize that guy

from someplace.

Funny enough, those are

some acquaintances of mine

that are staying here

for the weekend.

And I've told you

about my friend Zoe, have I not?

- No.

- No? Doesn't matter. Anyway...

Uh, listen, I think we should

check out of the Mohican

and stay here for the weekend.

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, I was just extended

the invitation for both of us,

and I think we ought to take it.

But I love the Mohican.

It's got a lot of character.

Marshall, people only say that

about terrible things

when they're trying to be nice.

I mean, look around, pal.

Every single person here

wants to know who we are,

especially that spunky-looking

redhead over there.

What's her name?

- Esme.

- Esme. Exactly.

And I'm sure that sad maid

is around here somewhere

lurking around.

Those are two very

realistic options for you.

You're not gonna get a deal

like that at the Mohican.

I just... I don't feel like we'd be able

to spend as much quality time

together if we stayed here.

Buddy, listen, this is

a golden opportunity here.

Okay? I'm just saying.

I mean... It's your call.

I told you what I feel.

You tell me what you feel.

I feel like...

I want to stay at the Mohican.

Okay.

Third floor, menswear.

That old boy

put you on the third floor.

Marshall, I don't want

to beat the dead horse,

but remember, you don't

have to explain everything

to everyone all the time,

you know what I mean?

Just pepper in a little subtlety

here and there.

Trust me.

What, you're saying I'm too obvious?

- I would never say that. Ever.

Keep up!

This place is like a playground.

You have a canoe,

you have golf clubs.

You have every sort of ball

known to mankind.

It is what it is, man.

- This place is incredible. I love it.

I wouldn't put you here.

Little more subtle, Marshall.

- What's that smell?

- Cat sh*t.

Zoe loves cats, right?

She's got strays running all over,

and they all take shits

under your bed, man.

- Are they rescues?

- Yeah, they're rescues.

She rescues cats, dogs, gerbils...

anything, man.

God, that sister of yours.

She's always taking care

of everybody.

She's got a lot of love to give,

doesn't she?

She's the best.

She took care of me

from day one on, so...

Look how good you turned out,

big guy.

Uh-huh.

Look, I want to be the guy

who takes care of you guys

this weekend, okay?

It's my sister's wedding.

She wants everybody to have fun.

So if you guys need anything...

you know, coke, pills...

Oh, actually, I could really use

a ginger ale and, like, an aspirin.

I kind of got, like, a sinus thing, so...

I don't smoke.

Good boy.

I like that. Good answer.

Move your sh*t, man.

Move it right now.

Get out of my way, man.

Hey, it's a wedding, everybody.

See you, Big Ted.

I'm gonna call him Uncle Teddy.

It's hot in here.

It's really hot in here.

It's not that hot.

That's what the fan is for.

One of the cats sh*t in the bathtub.

They're a bunch of strays,

Marshall.

I'm just glad they have a home.

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