Ceremony Page #4

What is that?

Just, like, a little gift basket.

It was left outside the door.

Really? Presents?

Were you reading my journal?

Yeah. Marshall...

When did you start

keeping a journal?

Like, about a year ago.

You're a pretty goddamn good writer.

Yeah. My therapist thought

it would be a good idea.

And I know you

used to have one, and...

You're in therapy?

- Yeah. Big-time.

- Why?

Got a lot of problems.

How many problems

can you have, Marshall?

You're 25 years old.

Quite a few.

Jesus Christ, Marshall.

You should prepare me before

you tell me something like that.

That's shocking.

What kind of stuff they got here?

Oh, a note.

How long

have you known Zoe, exactly?

Not long.

Um, we're just, you know...

friends of a friend...

that sort of thing.

I'm gonna take a shower, buddy.

You should spruce up

and, uh, get ready for supper.

Let's not be late, all right?

- Oh, there's no hot water in there.

- That's fine.

That is very funny,

and you are, yes, a very sad man.

Who wants to hear the story

of how we met?

'Cause I only want to tell

this story once.

There may be three people

at the table

that haven't heard this story.

Do you know, when I first

asked Zoe to dinner,

she laughed in my face.

No, I didn't laugh.

I didn't laugh.

No, it was...

It was an innocent guffaw.

Oh, what happened

to your mustache?

I look better without it.

Can you not be so observant

all the time? Thank you.

I hounded this girl for a month

to get one dinner with her.

I sent flowers to the store

where she worked.

You did send flowers,

and they were beautiful.

So I practically stalked you, didn't I?

Oh, that's charming.

God, here we go.

Very funny, everybody, laugh it up.

It's a wedding!

For all you guys who don't know me,

my name's Teddy.

That's my sister.

And our parents are dead.

Everybody dies.

It was a long time ago,

and we're doing okay now,

so don't worry about it.

So congratulations

from the family.

I love you very much.

- I love you, Teddy.

- I really, really do.

You're one of the good ones.

And you stuck with me

when I was all the way down,

you know?

And you always have.

There's all these snakes

in this world, but not you.

And it's time, you know,

you're moving on,

and I'm happy for you, but I'm just

going through a sh*t period for me,

and so I'm just sad... I'm...

I'm just sad that you're leaving,

that's all.

I'm not going anywhere, Teddy.

Me, neither, Teddy.

Cheers, everyone.

It's a wedding. Have fun.

What are you gonna do about it?

Thank you, cheers.

Cheers, Teddy.

Eat it up, boy.

Your candor and brevity

are always so much appreciated.

I f***ed that up.

Um, so, um, let me keep this brief

'cause you all know how much

I hate giving speeches,

but, um...

could you just film this?

I'm baring my soul here.

You know, catch the moment.

Here we go.

Uh, do you know,

when you spend a year in a tent

in the African bush, you learn

to appreciate the little things in life,

like running water and the taste

of a decent cheeseburger.

You learn to appreciate

being home around your friends,

around your family,

around the people

who mean most to you

in this unforgiving world.

Zoe...

What?

I would be lying if I didn't say

that loving you

has been the great adventure

of my life.

And I make films in Africa.

And coercing you

into finally marrying me

has been by far

my greatest achievement.

Other than that Oscar.

I'm joking! I'm joking!

- I am joking.

- You're not joking.

- You're dead serious.

- I love you.

I love you.

Cheers, cheers, cheers.

I toast to you,

to old friends and new ones.

I've got such huge love

for everyone at this ta...

- Uh-oh.

- Cheers.

Hi, everyone. Cheers.

Cheers, Whit, Zoe.

Cheers, everyone here.

Um, well, I think I speak

for Marshall and myself

when I say that it's a pleasure...

Who's Marshall?

...to... to witness the pairing

of two beautiful people.

Two... two dreamers, really,

who are about to, uh...

embark on a journey of love and...

...friendship.

Um, it's a rare thing

to see two people

who are so good-looking

involved with each other.

Um...

Anyway, uh, thank you, Whit,

for letting us stay here.

Uh, to new friends

and to old friends.

And, uh...

Whit...

You're a lucky man.

And, Zoe...

...Whit's a lucky man.

If you'll excuse me a moment.

Sam, where are you going?

Oh, no, Sam, you're gonna miss

the birthday cake.

Damn, just missed him.

Anyway, cheers, everyone.

I hope you have

a marvelous evening.

Really. Does everyone

have enough to drink?

Are you feeling all right?

You found me!

Oh. I'm fine.

I just think I got a bad case

of food poisoning.

So sweet of you to come out here

and check up on me like this.

Unbelievable, right?

You'd think

with all the money this guy has,

he'd serve some decent food

in this joint.

Are you drunk?

You know what? That's it.

I drank on an empty stomach.

You should never do that, Marshall.

Come on.

Let's take a breath.

How'd you like my speech?

It's a tough crowd out there.

You and Zoe...

You never had, like,

a-a thing, did you?

What does that mean?

What's a thing?

I don't know, it's just,

she kind of looks at you oddly,

and you always breathe

really funny whenever she's around.

And I was just flipping

through your story again,

it just seems

like there's a lot of parallels.

Right. Have you ever

written anything, Marshall?

Just in my journal.

Well, let me explain

something to you, pal.

Let me explain to you

what us writers like to do.

We make things up...

amalgams, okay?

And what are amalgams?

They're things or characters

based on other things or characters

sort of all mixed together into one.

Now, while Zoe up there and I

are friends,

and I do find her kind of interesting,

she's just a small part

of a bigger whole.

Tiny, insignificant part

of that mermaid from my story.

She's a mixture of a lot

of different girls that I know.

Kind of like scrambled eggs.

Does that make any sense?

No. I think I'm having

a hard time articulating

what I'm feeling right now.

I think it's fear.

It's not because I don't trust you,

because I do. I just...

Marshall, let me explain

something to you.

One of my best-received stories

was loosely based

on the time that you and I

tried to steal Cleopatra's obelisk

from Central Park.

Remember that?

But I couldn't use you and I

in the story

because we're not interesting,

so I had to replace us with bandits.

Because bandits are far more

interesting than normal people.

That make sense?

I didn't know you wrote one

about us.

Didn't you get a signed copy

in the mail?

Well, God damn it. Remind me,

and I'll resend you one.

Come on. Let's get back out there

and loosen up a little bit.

How's my breath?

You should probably

brush your teeth.

Thank you for always being

so honest with me.

Okay.

It looks like our lion friend

has found a gazelle.

I don't know

who I identify with most...

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