Ceremony Page #7

Wow.

Yeah, he's, um...

he's an intense young man.

Very emotional.

- Hi, girls. Good morning.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

- Still here, are we?

Good morning.

I made you a little present.

Here. If I would've known

you were getting married,

I would've gotten you something

like a blender or a set of knives,

but that'll do.

Look, Zo, it's got your name on it.

Yeah, it does.

Thank you.

- Hey, there.

- Hmm?

We had a fun night last night,

didn't we?

We did.

How are you feeling?

Better, thanks.

Seriously, who are you,

and why are you here?

Wouldn't you like to know?

Enjoying your breakfast,

you snakes in the grass?

If you're gonna film me

waking up in the morning,

you should wake up before me.

It's not brain science.

Discuss it with Spider.

I'm done.

God, look at this table

of gorgeous ladies.

- Morning, darling.

- Lady of the house.

Big Sam.

Hey, morning, Teddy.

You look rested.

I made this

for your wedding.

It's your portrait.

It's a big skinny penis with balls.

I spent a lot of time on it.

Nice shorts, pal.

- Oh, that's funny.

- Oh...

I think he likes me.

Finally.

Where were you last night?

Oh, I couldn't sleep.

I worked on my vows.

Come here.

What is that hideous thing

around your neck?

It's a wedding present from Sam.

Look. Isn't that pretty?

Yours is in the mail, slick.

Sam.

Why don't you come and take a ride

with me down the beach?

Looks like Teddy blew off

all the fireworks last night,

and we need some more

for the reception.

Come on. It'll be fun.

Okay.

- Don't go.

- Yep.

Have fun.

Give it to me.

Right here, right here.

Hi.

You okay?

Hey!

You know, Zoe left one of your stories

lying around the house,

and I finally had

a chance to read it...

the one about the koala bear

in the Central Park Zoo.

Really? Why would you do that?

You know, Sam,

you're not half bad.

Your writing has a lot of character.

I will say, though, that

that adorable koala bear

got kind of annoying,

with the whingeing and the moaning,

and I'm not sure

it's a good story for children.

Well, you're not exactly

my target demo,

but I take that as a compliment.

Are you as much a romantic

in your real life

as you are in your work?

I certainly try.

I consider myself a realist,

more concerned

with the human condition.

I'm sure you can tell that

from my body of work. It's...

It's a bit lbsenesque, I suppose.

Anyway, I admire that quality

in your writing.

Although I've never really

been much of a reader.

All Zoe does is read.

All day, all night, she'll read

anything you put in front of her.

It's quite sweet, really.

It's why... it's why she likes

someone like you.

Because I'm working

so much of the time,

it's difficult for me

to cater to all of Zoe's...

...interests.

That's our Zoe, isn't it?

She's mad!

She decides she wants

to learn tennis, she learns tennis!

She goes to all the matches,

practices every day,

she develops a nice backhand.

Her goddamn instructor moved in

with us one summer.

And then one day,

she decides tennis is a dull sport,

a game for spoiled aristocrats,

and she wants nothing more

to do with it.

Last summer, it was dragonflies.

She was obsessed with the things.

Studied them, painted them,

took courses on them,

and then one day, poof.

No more dragonflies.

Yeah, I didn't even know

she liked dragonflies.

Well, she doesn't, Sam.

Not anymore.

It's okay, just hold still.

All done.

Sam tell you a lot about me?

Well, I mean, Sam and I

are pretty much brothers, so...

he tells me practically everything.

I hope not.

You know, I'm not sure

that Sam ever told me

the whole story of how you two met.

Uh, I was, um...

I was in New York with Whit,

the premiere of his film.

I think it was

"A Tale of Two Villages."

And we got into a terrible fight

at the Ziegfeld,

and I stormed out of the theater

into the pouring rain.

I was a mess.

And suddenly the rain

stopped hitting me.

I looked up...

...and it was Sam,

without an umbrella...

...holding a copy

of The New York Observer

over my head.

Guess it must have been

a Wednesday.

I guess so.

We spent the entire night together.

When it came time

to say our good-byes...

he asked me to be his pen pal.

Sure enough, two weeks later,

I receive this epic

10-page letter from Sam.

And I made the mistake

of writing him back.

Sorry.

What am I talking about?

So, what was the plan?

He was gonna...

come all the way out here

and propose to me

in front of everyone?

I-I don't know.

That is so stupid.

I guess that's why

he brought the ring, right?

He brought a ring?

Zoe left me once.

Did you know that?

No. I had no idea.

Of course you didn't.

No one does.

She's very good at keeping secrets,

isn't she?

Yeah, apparently.

Who was the guy?

He was some songwriter.

Played the tambourine or something.

What did you do?

I let her leave.

Now, what would you have done, Sam,

if you were me?

If I were you...

...I'd have gone after her.

I guess I just don't feel the need

to chase girls

around the schoolyard anymore.

She came back, didn't she?

Of course she did.

She always does.

Well, do you want to get back

and get those fireworks, or...?

Huh?

Oh, don't worry about that.

I'll send an intern or something.

Tell me, Sam, have you

ever had a lime Rickey?

All right, all right, line up,

you gorgeous people.

Every year for my birthday,

we throw a paper chase.

You all know the rules.

First team to gather up

as many little pieces of paper

as you can wins the race,

and you get to kiss a pretty girl.

And you all stand a chance

this year,

'cause I pulled a hammy

when I was chasing an impala

back in the bush.

All right, may the best team win.

You promised me we were leaving.

I already packed up the car.

We are gonna leave,

just as soon as we win this race,

or whatever the hell it is.

Sam, I can't participate

in a three-legged race

when my foot is like this.

What happened to your foot?

I stepped on a martini glass.

Well, why would you do that?

Conditions are rough this year,

but thanks for playing. It keeps it fun.

All right, someone take this.

All right, Zoe, let's get this going.

We need to hit a rhythm, Marshall.

I can't hit a rhythm

when my foot is bleeding, Sam.

Come on, as many as you can.

Here, put them all in the basket.

Everything you get,

put in the basket.

Come on, Marshall,

keep up with me.

We got to beat Whit and his African.

You all right, Sam?

Doing great!

Can't run with the big dogs

and piss with the puppies.

It looks like we're doing all right.

Come on, hurry up!

I don't understand

the point of this game.

No, I don't either, dear.

Never mind, eh?

Come on, Whit!

Here we go, just get all

the little papers you can get.

Thank you. If you could please

leave our area, Whit!

Babe, I think I'm winning!

This is the stupidest game

I've ever seen.

Quit trying to be quick

when my foot is bleeding.

This is our area right here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes