Chaos Theory Page #2

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- Ten, nine...

...eight, seven, six, five...

...four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year!

It was always gonna be you.

Uhh...

- Daddy.

What is that?

- It's your daughter.

No.

I don't have a daughter this early.

- Whatever's there, kill it.

- Hurry.

- It's wide awake.

- We're gonna miss the sun.

Okay, okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going.

Go away.

Hurry, Daddy.

- Let's let Mommy sleep.

- Hurry.

- Okay.

Come on.

Okay, okay, okay.

Ready?

To give a good speech.

Your turn.

Nice writing.

I wish, I wish, upon the sun,

that my wish is number one.

And what did you wish for?

That Mary Ross will get hit by a truck.

Well, that's not very nice.

I thought Mary was your best friend.

- I divorced her.

- You can't divorce a friend.

- Why not?

- Because divorce is for married people.

That's okay. As long as a truck hits her.

All right, killer, come on.

- Let's go dogpile Mommy.

- Yay.

Shoot. Hey, Monster,

have you seen my morning list?

You need a list to keep track of your lists.

Oh, thank you.

No, honey, that's all sugar

and food coloring.

You've had enough. Go get dressed.

"Conscious". Is it "sc" or "cs"?

Stop right there.

Come and give me a kiss, please.

I got a big lecture today.

- I'll be home in the morning. I love you.

- I love you, too, Dad.

All right.

Don't forget to return the movies.

- Movies?

- Mm-hm.

No, no, no. I can't.

Would you, um, do it if it was on that list?

- Of course I would.

- Give me your pen.

- Ah, ah. No, I don't have time.

- It's on your way.

- I can't be late for the ferry, so...

- What time do you have to leave the house?

- Eighteen after.

- Eighteen after is not a time.

- It's a symptom. It's like a twitch.

- Well, you used to find it adorable.

Yeah, well, I used to pound Jgermeister.

Anyway, you won't be late.

- Yes, I will.

- No, you won't.

- You didn't.

- I did.

- Oh, sh*t.

- What? I've given you an extra ten minutes.

No, you didn't. You set it the wrong way.

You've given me ten minutes less.

Oh, sh*t.

- I'm sure you'll be fine.

- Yeah.

Bye.

You forgot the movies.

- Hello?

- Hey, it's Buddy. Is Frank there?

- He just left.

- I might be late.

- So might he.

- Frank? I don't think that's possible.

Don't drag him into anything

unsavory tonight.

What do you consider unsavory?

Anything that might lead to a rash.

- What are you wearing?

- Buddy.

- Come on.

- I'm naked, Buddy.

Thank you.

We're okay.

We're okay. No, no, no.

Come on. No, no, no, you're kidding me.

Please, please, please. No, no.

Check the time. I'm right here, please.

Hey, congratulations.

You'll be the first one on the next boat.

God, come on. Look, sir, please,

I'm begging you right now.

There's plenty of room on the ferry.

Just let me drive it on.

Please. I beg you, I have a speech.

My wife, the movies... Aargh!

Next boat leaves in an hour.

This boat leaves at eight o'clock.

Oh, look at that, it's eight o'clock.

Next boat, pal.

Schedule to keep, you know.

The relationship between time and you...

... is always one of master and slave.

Ahem.

List-making.

It is your anchor,

your harbor in the storm of life.

Start each morning

with your wish for the day.

And then move right on

into your daily goal list.

And remember to keep them

in behavioral terms, and to be specific.

Why? Because a specific list...

...is a happy list.

And don't forget, it's chaos out there.

And we conquer that by taking control,

setting priorities.

Life cannot be based on whim.

Those who fail to control whim...

...are destined to be controlled by it.

Thank you.

Hey, back in the city.

- Good to see you, man.

- Yeah.

Excellent talk, by the way.

That was truly inspirational.

I saw you come in.

Yeah. My old man

wasn't through busting my ass...

...for being late on the Bethnal job.

Do you have any idea how many

windows are in a building that size?

I don't know. Fifty?

Something wrong in Camp Frank?

No. Ahem.

- What?

- It's a little complicated, that's all.

That's all right. No, that's okay.

I like knowing your life isn't totally perfect.

- Okay, look. You know this talk today?

- Yeah.

It's a big break for me

in the corporate lecture circuit.

Susan. Susan. She knows

how important this is to me.

She knows how nervous I get

before a talk...

...yet she doesn't say anything,

not a word, you know.

Instead, she gets all over me

about my schedule.

She sets the clocks forward

to give me more time...

...only she gives me less time

and I end up missing the ferry.

Now, do you have any idea

how embarrassing it is...

...to show up late to a lecture

on the efficient use of time?

- She actually set the clock forward?

- Actually set the clock forward.

- Ha, ha. Oh, man, that's good.

- Yeah, it's very funny.

Come on, man. She's just trying

to unwind you a bit.

I'm not a clock. I'm not wound.

Stop saying that.

Look, not everything in your life

needs to be ordered, Frank.

You know, if you don't take any chances,

you never try anything new.

That's not true.

Yeah, I take plenty of chances.

Great. Let's ask those chicks if they want

to go play some blackjack with us.

- That's not taking a chance.

- Why not?

- Because.

- Because?

Because everybody knows...

...that the house advantage for blackjack

is 5.9 percent.

And that doesn't make sense.

- Five point nine percent, huh?

- Yeah.

- I thought we were hanging out.

- Yeah, we just did, and it was fun.

But if you're not gonna take a chance,

then there's two of them and one of me.

I like those odds.

Hi, ladies.

That's my friend Frank over there.

I was at your lecture today. It's not bad.

Thank you. Ha.

My boss forced me to read your book,

The Ten Minute...

- It's five.

- What?

- The Five Minute Efficiency Trainer.

- Oh, right. Five.

- It worked. It totally worked.

- Really?

I didn't expect that.

Usually my boss is an idiot. So...

- It was amazing. I mean, I make lists.

- That's great.

- They're color-coded. It's...

- Yeah. It gets the life on track.

- Am I gushing?

- I have no idea.

I'm Paula. Paula Crowe.

- I'm Frank. Frank Allen. Nice to meet you.

- You too.

Would you like to try something

a little bit different, Mr. Frank Allen?

Well, uh...

You know, uh, yeah. Yes, I would actually.

- Yeah?

- Yep.

Two Tangerinis, please.

You know, you're very brave to be able

to talk in front of so many people.

Mm. No. I, uh...

Every night before I give a talk,

I get this nightmare...

...that I'm giving a huge lecture

and suddenly I notice that I'm naked.

- Ha-ha-ha!

- Ooh.

Anyway. When I'm actually

giving the talk for real, I reverse it.

I pretend that everyone in the audience

is naked. That helps me breathe a little.

After today's crowd,

I may reconsider that.

- Frank?

- Mm?

- Can I ask you a big favor?

- Mm.

I, uh, really, really have to go tinkle.

And I have this phobia

about public restrooms.

- Would you...?

- I have the same phobia.

- All my life. All my life.

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