Chasing Amy Page #11

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HOLDEN:

You're so out of line right now..,

BANKY:

You don't even know this girl! Big

deal, she's from Middletown and she

went to North! All the girls at North

were b*tches and sluts anyway! And

this one's got them beat by a mile

because she's a b*tch/slut/dyke!

HOLDEN:

Watch your f***ing mouth, is all I'm

going to tell you..

BANKY:

Oh why? Do you get my back when she

bashes me? Because I know she does.

And do you know why she does? Because

I won't play her f***ing game!

HOLDEN:

Sometimes your paranoia and suspicious

bullshit is amusing. Sometimes it's

just f***ing annoying as piss!

BANKY:

What is it about this girl? You know

you have no shot at getting her into

bed! Why do you bother wasting time

with her? Because you're Holden

f***ing McNeil - most persistent

traveller on the road that's not the

path of least resistance!

Everything's gotta be a f***ing

challenge for you, and this little

relationship with that b*tch is a

prime example of your f***ing

condition. Well I don't need a

f***ing magic eight ball to look into

your future; you want a forecast?

Here - will Holden ever f*** Alyssa.

(shakes and looks at

imaginary ball)

What a shock - "Not f***ing likely"!

This relationship of your's is

affecting you, our work and our

friendship, and the time's going to

come when I throw down the gauntlet

and say it's me or her! And then

what're you going to say?!

HOLDEN:

(beat)

I think you should let this one go.

BANKY:

No, what would you say? Would you

trash twenty years of friendship

because you've got some idiotic notion

that this chick would even let you

sniff her panties, let alone f***

her?!

HOLDEN:

Let it go...

BANKY:

What the f***.. WHAT THE F*** MAKES

THIS B*TCH ALL THAT IMPORTANT?!?!

Holden looks at Banky for a long beat.

HOLDEN:

I'm in love with her, man.

Banky stares at him. Holden stares back. Banky looks

into Holden's eyes. Suddenly, he softens a bit. He

drops his head.

BANKY:

F***.

Banky walks away. Holden watches him go and exits.

INT DINER - NIGHT

Holden and Alyssa sit at a booth. Alyssa picks through

her food. Holden looks at the check and pulls money from

his wallet.

HOLDEN:

I wish you were the one being pursued

by M-TV.

ALYSSA:

Oh really?

HOLDEN:

Sure. Then you could sell our and

maybe pick up the check once in

awhile.

ALYSSA:

(drops her fork and wipes her

hands)

We're leaving!

HOLDEN:

Well it's not like this is a bed and

breakfast,

ALYSSA:

I've got a little business to conduct.

She grabs her bag and slides out of the booth. Holden

watches her, then follows.

A23. Alyssa slides up to the cashier's desk as does

Holden, who offers a puzzled shrug. Alyssa offers the

'just wait' finger. The CASHIER turns to her.

ALYSSA:

Are you an authorized deal-maker in

this establishment? Do you have the

power to negotiate.

CASHIER:

You wanna haggle over the price of

your French Dip?

ALYSSA:

I want to haggle over the price of

fine art.

CASHIER:

What do you mean?

ALYSSA:

(pointing OC)

There. By the kitchen. That

painting.

CASHIER:

What about it?

ALYSSA:

The price tag says seventy five.

CASHIER:

So!

HOLDEN:

(to Alyssa)

Tell me you're kidding!

ALYSSA:

I'll give you fifty.

CASHIER:

(to OC)

Manuel! Bring, me the Dyksiezski off

the wall.

(to Alyssa)

All my years in the diner business,

I've waited for this day - the day

when someone wanted to buy one of the

pictures.

ALYSSA:

(holds out hand)

Alyssa Jones. Pleased to meet you.

CASHIER:

You say you want to haggle, but you

don't know rule one about haggling,

which you just broke: you never give

your name. The name is power, and to

give the opponent that piece of you is

to give away victory.

ALYSSA:

I'm only trying to conduct a

transaction. We're not opponents.

CASHIER:

(accepting painting from

BUSBOY)

Oh, but we are - if you think I'm

letting this beautiful piece go for

fifty.

ALYSSA:

Ah-ha!

(to Holden)

Now we're haggling.

24. INT CAR - NIGHT24.

It's drizzling outside. Holden drives. Alyssa hugs her

painting and pushes her bare feet against the windshield,

making footprints.

HOLDEN:

I've always wondered what kind of

people buy those things. I can't

believe you talked him down to twenty

five!

ALYSSA:

It was looking shakey when he told me

the artist was a blind cripple with a

hump-back, but I held my ground.

There's no room for sympathy in the

buyer's market.

HOLDEN:

Where are you going to hang it?

ALYSSA:

I'm not. You are.

HOLDEN:

You want me to hang it for you? You

better hope it doesn't get out to the

girl-nation that you needed a man to

help you hang a picture.

ALYSSA:

You're going to hang it in your house.

I bought it for you.

HOLDEN:

(laughs)

Yeah, right.

ALYSSA:

(looks at him)

I'm serious.

Holden stares at her.

HOLDEN:

Why?

ALYSSA:

Because it's captured the moment.

It'll be a constant reminder - not

just of tonight, but of our

introduction, the building of our

friendship, everything. Make no

mistake about it my Friend - it's a

gift to you, from me, so you'll always

remember us.

Holden stares ahead. Then he swerves the wheel to the

right.

EXT ROADSIDE - NIGHT

The car pulls to the side of the road. The rain is a bit

heavier now.

INT CAR - NIGHT

Holden throws the car into park

ALYSSA:

Why are we stopping?

HOLDEN:

Because I can't take it.

ALYSSA:

Can't take what?

HOLDEN:

I love you.

ALYSSA:

(beat)

You love me.

HOLDEN:

I love you. And not in a friendly

way, although I think we're great

friends. And not in a misplaced

affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm

sure that's what you'll call it. And

it's not because you're unattainable.

I love you. Very simple, very truly.

You're the epitome of every attribute

and quality I've ever looked for in

another person. I know you think of

me as just a friend and crossing that

line is the furthest thing from an

option you'd ever consider. But I

can't do this any longer. I can't

stand next to you without wanting to

hold you. I can't look into your eyes

without feeling that longing you only

read about in trashy romance novels.

I can't talk to you without wanting to

express my love for everything you

are. I know this will probably queer

our friendship - no pun intended - but

I had to say it, because I've never

felt this before, and I like who I am

because of it. And if bringing it to

light means we can't hang out anymore,

then that hurts me. But I couldn't

allow another day to go by without

getting it out there, regardless of

the outcome, which by the look on your

face is to be the inevitable shoot-

down. And I'll accept that But I know

some part of you is hesitating for a

moment, and if there is a moment of

hesitation, that means you feel

something too. All I ask is that you

not suppress that - at least for ten

minutes - and try to dwell in it

before you dismiss it.

There isn't another soul on this

f***ing planet who's ever made me the

person I am when I'm with you, and I

would risk this friendship for the

chance to take it to the next plateau.

Because it's there between you and me.

You can't deny that. And even if we

never speak again after tonight,

please know that I'm forever changed

because of you and what you've meant

to me, which - while I do appreciate

it - I'd never need a painting of

birds bought at a diner to remind me

of.

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