Chasing Amy Page #13

---

ALYSSA:

They're not. From around here.

TORY:

Don't even tell me you met her down

the shore!

JANE:

Eww! Not a bridge-and-tunnel Jersey

dyke!

TORY:

With huge hair and acid-washed jeans!

They all cackle. Alyssa tries to laugh with them.

DALIA:

Come on, Alyss - Hoboken Hussy or

what?

ALYSSA:

For your information, they don't have

big hair or wear acid wash.

(goes back to painting)

They're from my home town.

Dalia stares at Alyssa, suspiciously.

DALIA:

Why are you playing the pronoun game?

ALYSSA:

What? What are you talking about?

I'm not even.

DALIA:

You are. "I met someone." "We have a

great time. "They're from my home

town." Doesn't this tube of

wonderful have a name!

ALYSSA:

(beat)

Holden.

All four Girls stare at Alyssa, a bit horrified. She

stops painting.

JANE:

Oh, Alyssa - no. Not you.

TORY:

You're dating a guy?

ALYSSA:

He's not like a typical man. He's

really sweet to me, and we relate so

well. You guys'd love him, really.

They stare at Alyssa. Then Dalia gets up.

DALIA:

I've gotta go to the store.

JANE:

I'll go with.

They exit. Alyssa looks to Tory and Nica.

TORY:

(pouring wine)

Whelp - here's to both of you.

(moves the glass to her lips)

Another one bites the dust.

INT HOLDEN'S BEDROOM -NIGHT

Holden and Alyssa lie in each other's arms, moonlight

bathing them. She smokes.

HOLDEN:

Can I ask you something?

ALYSSA:

Don't even tell me you want to do it

again.

HOLDEN:

Why me - you know? Why now?

ALYSSA:

Because you were giving me that look,

and I got wet...

HOLDEN:

You know what I'm talking about.

ALYSSA:

Why not You?

HOLDEN:

I'm a guy. You're attracted to girls.

ALYSSA:

I see you've been taking notes.

Historically, yes that's true.

HOLDEN:

Then why this?

ALYSSA:

I've given that a lot of thought, you

know? I mean, now that I'm being

ostracized by my friends, I've had a

lot of time to think about all of

this. And what I've come up with is

really simple:
I came to this on my

terms. I didn't just heed what I was

taught, you know? Men and women

should be together, it's the natural

way - that kind of thing. I'm not

with you because of what family,

society, life tried to instill in me

from day one. The way the world is -

how seldom you meet that one person

who gets you... it's so rare. My

parents didn't really have it. There

was no example set for me in the world

of male/female relation ships. And to

cut oneself off from finding that

person - to immediately half your

options by eliminating the possibility

of finding that one person within your

own gender... that just seemed stupid.

So I didn't. And by leaving my

options open, I was branded 'gay',

which to me was no big deal - labels

are labels, you know? They define

what you do, not who you are, I guess.

But then you come along. You -

the one least likely; I mean, you were

a guy.

HOLDEN:

Still am.

ALYSSA:

And while I was falling for you, I put

a ceiling on that, because you were a

guy.

Until I remembered why I opened the

door to women in the first place - to

not limit the likelihood of finding

that one person who'd compliment me so

completely. And so here we are, I was

thorough when I looked for you, and I

feel justified lying in your arms -

because I got here on my terms, and

have no question that there was

someplace I didn't look. And that

makes all the difference.

HOLDEN:

(beat)

Sh*t.

ALYSSA:

What?

HOLDEN:

Well, you took the luster our of it.

ALYSSA:

What luster?

HOLDEN:

(joking - in case you didn't

get it)

Of how I brought you back from the

other side. How all you needed was

the right man to turn you around.

ALYSSA:

You're not the right man.

(kisses him)

You're just the one.

She snuggles into him and closes her eyes. Holden stares

at the ceiling.

HOLDEN:

Can I at least cell people that all

you needed was some serious deep-

dicking?

She hits him with her pillow.

THE BIG OL' FALLING-IN-LOVE MONTAGE BEGINS

1) In Holden's Apartment - Alyssa waves in various

directions, shaking her head accordingly. Then she puts

up her hands to stop. Cut to Holden, hanging the

picture. Alyssa gave him.

It hangs at a severely crooked angle. He looks back to

her and shakes his head 'no'.

2) Holden and Alyssa try to play a video game. Banky

plays as well. Holden instructs her in the ways of NHL

'96 (turning her paddle right-side-up, pointing at things

on the screen). She presses the reset button, over and

over. Banky gives Holden a 'What the f***?' look.

Alyssa sticks her tongue at him.

3) At the Video Store - Holden picks up a Disney cartoon

off the shelf. He goes to show if to Alyssa, who's

reading the back of 'Anything But Dick', an allchick

porno. An old WOMAN stares at her. Holden nods to the

old Woman and takes the tape out of Alyssa's hands,

putting it back on the shelf. He ushers her away. The

old Woman waits until they're gone and then picks up the

tape herself,

4) Holden carries Alyssa on his shoulders through the

park, her crotch against the back of his neck. He's

talking. She taps him and he stops and looks up. She

begins to maneuver around so her crotch is in his face.

He pulls her off and put her down. She's laughing. He's

flushed with embarrassment. The same Old Woman from the

Video store passes by with her husband. Holden shrugs.

5) In Holden's Apartment again - Alyssa again with the

waving, then putting up her hands to stop. Cut to Holden

again, this time with the painting hung completely upside

down. He looks at it, then offers her a bewildered gaze.

6) In the Office Banky comes to his drawing table. There

are penciled pages on it with a note that says "Hanging

out with Alyssa today. Holden". Banky crumples it up

and throws it across the room.

7) In Holden's Apartment - Alyssa waves this way, then

that way, then puts up her hands frantically to stop.

She settles back against the wall, a satisfied smile

crawling across her face, and closes her eyes. We pull

back to reveal Holden on his knees in front of her,

eating her out (no, we don't see anything!).

INT OFFICE - DAY

Holden draws. A book is thrown in front of him. He

looks up. Banky stands there.

BANKY:

Check out page forty eight.

Holden looks down at that book. It's the Nineteen Eighty

Eight yearbook from Middletown North. He shakes his head

at Banky and flips it open.

On the page is Alyssa's Senior year photo. Under her

name is another name in quotes that says 'Finger Cuffs'.

HOLDEN:

(looking up)

So?

BANKY:

Did you see the nickname?

HOLDEN:

'Finger Cuffs'.

BANKY:

And...?

HOLDEN:

And... she had a weird nick-name.

What's your point?

BANKY:

Do you know why it's 'Finger Cuffs'?

HOLDEN:

I suppose you do.

BANKY:

I do.

(takes a seat)

You remember Cohee Lundin? Left

Hudson and went to North our senior

year?

HOLDEN:

Yeah.

BANKY:

Well, I ran into him at Food City the

other day, and we got to talking, and

I mentioned that you were dating

Alyssa, and he said..

CUT TO COHEE LUNDON. In the PARKING LOT of FOOD CITY,

addressing the camera.

COHEE:

Alyssa Jones? Sh*t. I know Alyssa

Jones. I mean, I know Alyssa Jones,

you know what I'm saying?

Me and Rick Derris used to hang our

with her for awhile, right? Just

hanging around her house after school,

'cuz her parents were like never home,

and sh*t. And one day, Rick just

whips it out, and starts rubbing it on

her leg and sh*t; chasing her around

the living room - I was dying. But

you know what the crazy b*tch did?

She f***ing drops to her knees, and

just starts sucking him off right in

front of me! Like I wasn't even there

man! I almost died! But that's not

the f***ed up part - the f***ed up

part was Rick, man - right in the

middle of it, he turns to me and he's

pointing at her and he says "Cohee."

Just like that - "Cohee." So I'm like

I'll give it a shot. And I start

pulling her pants down all slow, 'cuz

I figure any second she's gonna turn

around and belt me in the mouth,

right? But yo, check this sh*t out -

she's all into it man! She don't try

to stop me or nothing! She's

all wet and sh*t, and I just went to

work, know what I'm saying? Me and

Rick are going to town on this crazy

b*tch, and she's just loving it, all

moaning and sh*t! It was f***ed up!

So Rick's the one that came up with

the nickname - 'cuz that day, she had

us locked in tight from both sides -

like a pair of goddamn Chinese finger

cuffs!

Rate this script:3.0 / 1 vote