Chasing Amy Page #4

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HOLDEN:

I should hope so. Jesus, that's the

saddest tale I've ever heard.

ALYSSA:

That's my love story.

Alyssa tosses her last dart. Holden seems a bit dazed.

He looks out the window.

HOLDEN:

Those two aren't on the hood of

Banky's car anymore.

ALYSSA:

I told you It wasn't love.

(grabs her purse)

I gotta split. It was really nice

meeting you. I wish you the best of

luck with your book.

(shakes his hand)

Tell Hooper I'll call him later. And

tell your friend to calm down.

Alyssa exits to the night. Holden stares after her. Two

beats later, Hooper and Banky enter, holding an

'Everything's Archie' comic between them.

BANKY:

You're insane. Archie is not f***ing

Mister Weatherbee!

HOOPER:

Deny, deny, deny.

(to Holden)

Where's Alyssa?

HOLDEN:

Huh! Oh. She left. She said she'd

call you later.

BANKY:

(off comic)

He's just offering to help Archie with

his homework!

HOOPER:

Read between the lines.

BANKY:

(shoves book at him)

F*** this.

(to Holden)

Let's go. Traffic.

(no response from Holden)

Holden!

HOLDEN:

(shaken)

What!

BANKY:

Let's go.

HOOPER:

(looking out window)

D'jou see that dent in the hood of

your car!

BANKY:

(looking out window)

What the...! Son of a b*tch!

Banky runs out Holden shrugs at Hooper.

HOOPER:

Let me guess:
you like her!

HOLDEN:

Who?

HOOPER:

Miss Alyssa Jones.

HOLDEN:

She's alright.

HOOPER:

As long as that's all.

(finishes drink)

Maybe you can convince that partner of

your's to drop me off downtown before

you scurry out the tunnel!

HOLDEN:

(beat)

Mister Weatherbee wasn't really trying

to f*** Archie, was he!

They begin exiting.

HOOPER:

Hell no. Weatherbee was Reggie's

b*tch.

INT. STUDIO - DAY

We're in Holden and Banky's studio/apartment. It's a

rented loft-style place with high ceilings, wood floors

and sparse furnishings. There are posters on the walls,

a sort of kitchenette, a hockey net, a big TV. (with all

the trimmings - VCR, Laserdisc player, Sega, SNES), a

huge comfy couch, and two drawing boards with adjacent

desks (littered with pencils, pens, coloring pencils,

paints, erasers, etc.) - at which sit Holden and Banky.

They're working. Some music plays.

C.U. OF HOLDEN PENCILING - over his shoulder, we see

Holden sketching Chronic in mid-attack of his arch-

nemesis - the Giggler. Holden erases a line and re-

draws.

C.U. OF BANKY INKING - over his shoulder, we see Banky

outlining a pre-penciled page. He traces Bluntman

swinging from a street light.

The two work in silence. Then...

BANKY:

(not looking up)

This is one of the best street lights

you've ever drawn.

HOLDEN:

It's the one across from the post

office.

BANKY:

Looks just like it.

HOLDEN:

Thanks.

(beat)

What do you wanna do tonight!

BANKY:

Get a pizza. Watch 'Degrassi Junior

High'.

HOLDEN:

(erases)

You got a weird thing for Canadian

melodrama.

BANKY:

I've got a weird thing for girls who

say 'aboot'.

The phone starts ringing. Holden answers it, while still

drawing.

HOLDEN:

Bank-Hold-Up.

CROSSCUT between Holden and Hooper. He's on a phone in a

CLUB.

HOOPER:

Hooper here. Listen, I know how you

burb-fiends hate the city, but there's

a club shindig going down that I think

you'd get into.

HOLDEN:

Where is it?

HOOPER:

Place called Her-sterectomy - I'm

tempting as bar-keep.

HOLDEN:

I don't know, Hoop. We're prepping

the next issue, and we've got our big

M-TV meeting in the morning.

HOOPER:

I told her you wouldn't be interested.

HOLDEN:

Told who?

HOOPER:

Alyssa.

HOLDEN:

Alyssa from last night Alyssa?

HOOPER:

How do you begin and end a question

with the same word like that? You got

skill. Yes, that one. She asked me

to invite you. Now here's the part

where you say...

HOLDEN:

I'll be there.

HOOPER:

Thought so. Ten o'clock. Later.

(both hang up)

BANKY:

Who was that?

HOLDEN:

Hooper. He invited me to a club.

BANKY:

When's that f*ggot going to learn -

you like chicks.

HOLDEN:

(getting up)

Not that kind of a club.

BANKY:

So when we leaving?

HOLDEN:

'We'? You can't go. He's setting me

up with Alyssa.

BANKY:

And?

HOLDEN:

And I don't want you messing it up.

BANKY:

Like I care about your sh*t. Maybe

I'll hook up myself.

HOLDEN:

(pulling on coat)

I just told you - it's not that kind

of club.

BANKY:

How does one man get to be so funny!

HOLDEN:

(throws him his coat)

How are you going to get home if I

hook up!

BANKY:

Like that'll happen.

HOLDEN:

Let me explain something to you, my

witless chum the other night in that

bar, we two - Alyssa and I shared a

moment, alright!

BANKY:

Oh, you had a moment!

HOLDEN:

(brings his two pointer

fingers together)

We shared a moment. And in that

moment, one thing was made abundantly

clear:
this girl loves me, my friend.

Loves-me.

6.INT. HER-STERECTOMY - NIGHT6.

It's a club - people are mingling, a band is playing,

it's loud. But something's fishy. Hooper's tending bar.

He hands a GUY a drink. The Guy sips it.

GUY:

This is so watered down. It's

terrible. Why is it you can never get

a decent drink in these places!

Hooper looks around in a very exaggerated fashion.

GUY:

What are you doing!

HOOPER:

Trying to find you a tissue.

The Guy shoots Hooper an angry glare, Banky enters.

BANKY:

Alright - bring on the free hootch.

HOOPER:

As long as you don't b*tch about how

little alcohol is in the drink.

(hands Banky a drink; to Guy)

You owe me five sixty.

GUY:

(off Banky)

And I suppose you're going to make

your friend here pay for his drink

right!

BANKY:

Hey, I befriended a guy in a position

of authority so I could abuse that

authority and get free sh*t. You want

to do the same? There's a lonely

Hindu works at the'7-ll' across the

street. Get in tight with him.

The Guy angrily pulls out his money and slams it on the

bar.

GUY:

I work at that '7-11'!

(storms away)

BANKY:

(calling after him)

Wanna be friends!

HOOPER:

Where's your better half!

BANKY:

Taking a piss. Guy's got a bladder

like an infant.

HOOPER:

That's funny - he says you're hung

like an infant.

BANKY:

Must his mother tell him everything!

Holden enters.

BANKY:

What'd you do - fall in love?

HOLDEN:

Where is she?

HOOPER:

Over there...

ON THE DANCE FLOOR - in the middle of a thrall of people -

dances Alyssa. She moves like a cat and she's looking

very sexy.

OC HOOPER:

Been dancin' for an hour. Hasn't

stopped yet.

Hooper, Holden, and Banky stare OC.

BANKY:

She ain't no Denny Terrio, I'll say

that.

Holden smacks Banky and moves to exit.

HOOPER:

Wait. wait, wait - there's something

you should know.

HOLDEN:

She's got a boyfriend.

HOOPER:

Well.. no.

HOLDEN:

Then what's to know?

Holden exits; They watch him go. Banky looks around.

BANKY:

There're a lot of chicks in this

place.

HOOPER:

'Chicks'. You're such a man.

BANKY:

(beat)

He didn't really say that about my

dick, did he!

ON THE DANCE FLOOR - Holden slips into the crowd and

dances up to Alyssa. He intentionally bumps into her.

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