Chasing Amy Page #9

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Holden's at a loss. Alyssa slips past the Woman,

carrying an overnight bag.

ALYSSA:

Don't mind her. That's just her way a

saying hello.

WOMAN:

Actually, it's just my way of saying

"Give it up."

ALYSSA:

(to Woman)

You're such an a**hole.

WOMAN:

When you file the date-rape charges,

don't say I didn't warn you.

HOLDEN:

(holding out hand)

I'm Holden, by the way.

WOMAN:

I'm the voice of reason that Miss

B*tch is having such a hard time

listening to.

HOLDEN:

Look, we're just friends.

WOMAN:

That's what every guy says before he

tries purring your hand on his dick.

HOLDEN:

And how do you know men so well?

WOMAN:

Because I lapdance for a living, dick-

head.

She slams the door. Holden looks to Alyssa.

ALYSSA:

Ohhh - you look so cute!

She heads down the stairs.

HOLDEN:

Who was that?

ALYSSA:

Just an occasional friend.

HOLDEN:

Why would you want to hang our with

someone bitter as that?

ALYSSA:

(stops)

Remember this!

(sticks out huge tongue)

Her's is even bigger than that.

She smiles and continues on. Holden looks back up at the

door. He sticks his own tongue our and sizes it with his

fingers.

EXT TURNPIKE - DAY

The car sits in traffic.

INT CAR - DAY

Holden sighs. Alyssa plays with the radio.

ALYSSA:

You were raised Catholic, right?

HOLDEN:

Yeah. You?

ALYSSA:

Baptist.

HOLDEN:

Really? Did you have a strict

upbringing?

ALYSSA:

Please There was no time to be bad -

we were too busy saying 'Jesus'.

HOLDEN:

You think your upbringing had

something to do with your lifestyle

choice?

ALYSSA:

Somewhere along the line. It's a

gradual transition to make - from

doing what the majority does to taking

a leap of faith and doing what feels

more natural. Everything helps - from

the way you were handled as a kid, to

the way the boys acted in third grade,

to the shoes you wore at your freshman

prom.

HOLDEN:

Shoes?

ALYSSA:

Well they were really tight.

HANGING OUT MONTAGE BEGINS

With the requisite music, over which we hear a

conversation between Holden and Alyssa.

1) Holden and Alyssa sit in the DINER eating. Holden's

talking. The Waitress walks past and drops her pad. She

bends over, to pick it up, hiking her mini-skirt up in

the process. Alyssa stares at her ass. Holden stops

talking and stares at her. Alyssa looks over at him and

offers a caught smile.

2) Holden pushes a shopping cart at the FOOD STORE,

throwing various things into the basket. Alyssa comes up

with a box of Tampons and throws them in. Holden glances

at them, a bit flushed. Alyssa catches him, picks up the

box, and pulls one out. She proceeds to demonstrate

their usage, throwing one leg on the can and miming

insertion. Holden puts up his hands in the "I know, I

know," fashion.

3) In the Studio, Holden displays some of his artwork to

Alyssa, during which she pulls out a cigarette and goes

to light it. It's a child-proof lighter, so she's having

trouble. Holden grows a little frustrated. Finally, he

grabs the lighter and pulls the child proof tab out with

his teeth. Alyssa stares at him a bit taken aback.

Holden spits the tab out, and lights Alyssa's smoke. He

then continues with his display.

4) Holden and Alyssa at the COMIC BOOK STORE. Steve-Dave

and the Fan-Boy eye them suspiciously. Alyssa pays for a

comic. Steve-Dave glowers at Holden. He gives Alyssa

her change and they exit. Steve-Dave goes back to his

card game with the Fan-Boy. Suddenly, a garbage can

comes crashing through their window. Steve-Dave rips a

check off the garbage can and punches the counter. The

Fan-Boy rubs his back soothingly,

5) Holden and Alyssa walk through a PARKING LOT, talking.

She takes his hand and pulls his arm around her shoulder.

Holden smiles to himself.

HOLDEN V.O.

Let me ask you something - we get

along, right?

ALYSSA V.O.

Famously.

HOLDEN V.O.

We have a definite chemistry?

ALYSSA V.O.

So it would seem.

HOLDEN V.O.

But we're both into girls.

ALYSSA V.O.

I'm into women.

HOLDEN V.O.

But you weren't always gay.

ALYSSA V.O.

When I was nine I had a crush on Scott

Baio.

HOLDEN V.O.

So If we'd met a long time ago, say in

high school...

ALYSSA V.O.

...I'd still be muff-diving, yes.

HOLDEN V.O.

Thought so.

INT STUDIO - DAY

Holden and Banky play EA Sports Hockey on Sega. There's

a knock at the door.

HOLDEN:

Come in.

Alyssa enters and stands besides them, smiling at their

game.

ALYSSA:

I read somewhere that guys who play

hockey are merely making up for penile

deficiencies by carrying big sticks.

BANKY:

I thought you lived in the city? This

is like the umpteenth time I've seen

you here. Isn't that grounds enough

for the little pink mafia to throw you

out of their club?

HOLDEN:

(hits Banky; to Alyssa)

I'll be ready in a second.

I just have to school this mouthy

second-stringer.

BANKY:

B*tch, you're schooling no one.

They play. Cut back and forth between the game and

Banky, Holden, and Alyssa.

HOLDEN:

(off game)

What? Do something!

BANKY:

(off game)

You f***ing cock-teaser. I'll knock

your f***ing teeth out and pass all

over your ass.

HOLDEN:

Look at how slow you are. Christ, you

move like a geriatric.

BANKY:

(screaming at screen)

F***! You F***ing cock-sucker, man!

These faggots won't do what I tell

them to!

HOLDEN:

Oh. It's the controller, right? It's

always the controller.

BANKY:

No, it's these... f***ing queers on

blades that can't accept a f***ing

pass to save their lives! What period

is this?

HOLDEN:

Final sixty of the third.

BANKY:

F***! Look at your f***ing guys,

they... F***!!!

(whips controller)

F***ING COCK SUCKER, MAN! I SWEAR TO

GOD!

Banky storms away. Alyssa looks at Holden,

HOLDEN:

Imagine if I'd only beaten him by one

instead of thirty.

INT SKEE-BALL ARCADE - DAY

Holden feeds a couple dollars into the change machine.

Alyssa looks on.

ALYSSA:

Explain this again.

HOLDEN:

How could you have grown up down the

shore and never played skee-ball?

What did you do with your youth?

They head toward the skee-ball runs.

ALYSSA:

Stayed out late, smoked pot, screwed

around.

HOLDEN:

Not your grade school years; your high

school years.

ALYSSA:

(off skee-ball run)

This looks complicated.

HOLDEN:

(Inserts coin and pulls

lever)

The premise is very basic - you roll

the ball up the ramp at varying

speeds, in an effort to pop it into

the score circles. The higher the

score, the more prize tickets you get.

ALYSSA:

What do you do with the prize tickets?

HOLDEN:

Trade them in for prizes that aren't

worth nearly as much as you paid to

play the game.

ALYSSA:

Then what's the point?

HOLDEN:

It's fun.

ALYSSA:

And you question my lifestyle.

HOLDEN:

Observe.

Holden rolls the ball. It pops into a twenty point

circle.

HOLDEN:

See? It's just that simple.

ALYSSA:

Why not just walk up there and put it

in the fifty every time?

HOLDEN:

Where's the skill in that?

ALYSSA:

Oh, this is a skill? I'm sorry, I had

no idea.

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