Chastity Bites Page #16

you know, watch colbert, make brownies?

Party, you know, watch colbert,

make brownies? I'm sorry, but I have plans

make brownies? I'm sorry,

but I have plans tonight.

I'm sorry, but I have plans tonight.

Katharine, please, I really

tonight. Katharine, please,

I really need to talk to you.

Katharine, please, I really need to talk to you.

Look, I don't really think

need to talk to you.

Look, I don't really think there's anything to talk about.

Look, I don't really think there's anything to talk about.

I just feel like we're changing

there's anything to talk about. I just feel like

we're changing and we're growing apart and,

I just feel like we're changing and we're

growing apart and, well, right now I need to be

and we're growing apart and, well,

right now I need to be around energy that's more

well, right now I need to be around energy

that's more positive and uplifting, like

around energy that's more positive and uplifting,

like v.A.G., and less negative and

positive and uplifting, like v.A.G.,

and less negative and pissy like you.

V.A.G., and less negative and pissy like you.

I'm sorry, but that's just how I

pissy like you. I'm sorry,

but that's just how I feel.

I'm sorry, but that's just how I feel.

And I would really appreciate if

feel. And I would really appreciate

if you would respect my need for

and I would really appreciate if you would

respect my need for space right now.

You would respect my need for space right now.

You can't go with them

space right now.

You can't go with them tonight.

You can't go with them tonight.

She said she doesn't want to

tonight. She said she doesn't want to talk to you,

you heathen whore!

She said she doesn't want to talk to you,

you heathen whore! What?!

Talk to you, you heathen whore!

What?! I'm not a whore, you bimbo!

What?! I'm not a whore,

you bimbo! Oh, no?

I'm not a whore, you bimbo! Oh, no?

Then why haven't you been coming

oh, no? Then why haven't you been

coming to v.A.G. To learn to respect

then why haven't you been coming to v.A.G. To

learn to respect your body as a temple of purity?

To v.A.G. To learn to respect your body as a

temple of purity? We can only assume that any girl

your body as a temple of purity? We can only

assume that any girl at this school who did not sign

we can only assume that any girl at this school

who did not sign the v.A.G. Pledge is a whore.

At this school who did not sign the v.A.G.

Pledge is a whore. It's not the kind of person the

the v.A.G. Pledge is a whore.

It's not the kind of person the rest of us want to be

it's not the kind of person the rest

of us want to be associated with.

Rest of us want to be associated with.

All right, listen to me!

Associated with. All right, listen to me!

Liz batho is not who she says

all right, listen to me! Liz batho is not who

she says she is, and everyone in v.A.G.

Liz batho is not who she says she is,

and everyone in v.A.G. Is in a lot of danger!

She is, and everyone in v.A.G. Is in a lot of danger!

[Laughter]

Is in a lot of danger!

[Laughter] Wow.

[Laughter] Wow.

Wow.

Wow. Wow.

Katharine was right.

Wow. Katharine was right.

Anything for your stupid blog.

Katharine was right. Anything for your stupid blog.

I'm sure your five readers would

anything for your stupid blog. I'm sure your five

readers would love to get the full scoop, but

I'm sure your five readers would love to get the

full scoop, but some of us have an actual life

love to get the full scoop,

but some of us have an actual life to lead.

Some of us have an actual life to lead.

Mm-hmm.

To lead. Mm-hmm.

Stop the snitchin'.

Mm-hmm. Stop the snitchin'.

[School bell rings]

That was really messed up.

Yeah. [Scoffs]

Yeah.

[Scoffs] I don't know what's going on

[scoffs] I don't know what's going on around here,

but it's pretty

I don't know what's going on around here,

but it's pretty creepy, more so than usual.

Around here, but it's pretty creepy,

more so than usual. It's like some sort of

creepy, more so than usual.

It's like some sort of super-b*tch imperialist coup.

It's like some sort of super-b*tch imperialist coup.

[Chuckles]

Super-b*tch imperialist coup.

[Chuckles] What they said about you...

[Chuckles] What they said about you...

You know that's bullshit, right?

What they said about you... You know that's

bullshit, right? I think you're pretty much the

you know that's bullshit, right? I think you're

pretty much the coolest person in this school,

I think you're pretty much the coolest person

in this school, in this whole crappy, little

coolest person in this school, in this whole crappy,

little town, and the only one with the

in this whole crappy, little town,

and the only one with the balls to stand up to people

town, and the only one with the

balls to stand up to people here.

Balls to stand up to people here.

I, um...

Here. I, um...

I just want you to know that.

I, um... I just want you to know that.

[Chuckles]

I just want you to know that.

[Chuckles] A fat lot of good it's done me.

Thank you, paul. I really appreciate that.

And, uh, you know, you're not so

I really appreciate that. And, uh, you know,

you're not so bad yourself, comrade.

And, uh, you know,

you're not so bad yourself, comrade. Viva la revolucin.

Bad yourself, comrade.

Viva la revolucin. Occupy san griento!

Viva la revolucin. Occupy san griento!

We want to live under the

occupy san griento! We want to live

under the bright lights and tear it up

we want to live under the bright lights

and tear it up we could lose it a like a

bright lights and tear it up

we could lose it a like a limb

we could lose it a like a limb could you give it up?

Limb could you give it up?

And all our hands are

could you give it up?

And all our hands are muskets

and all our hands are muskets

pick you up tonight for liz's

muskets pick you up tonight for liz's purity jam?

Pick you up tonight for liz's purity jam?

Hell to the yeah.

Purity jam? Hell to the yeah.

That gonna be cray, yo.

Hell to the yeah.

That gonna be cray, yo. Right?

That gonna be cray, yo. Right?

We're summertime in the

right?

We're summertime in the fall

And so, katharine and the hilt-- the other

girls are basically being lined up for a

hilt-- the other girls are basically being

lined up for a death panel if we don't do

basically being lined up for a death

panel if we don't do something.

Death panel if we don't do something.

This is journalism.

Something. This is journalism.

Creative writing is

this is journalism. Creative writing is mrs.

Bradshaw down the hall.

Creative writing is mrs. Bradshaw down the hall.

Mr. Rowland, please, this is

mrs. Bradshaw down the hall. Mr.

Rowland, please, this is very serious.

Mr. Rowland, please, this is very serious.

Leah, you've caused enough

very serious. Leah, you've caused

enough trouble for this paper to last

leah, you've caused enough trouble

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