Cheerleader Chainsaw Chicks Page #5

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previous altercation,

I decided to send him out

to cover the back gate.

Just stay on your toes.

Our resident lumberjack,

Easel Johnson, no relation,

had volunteered to be

bait, you know to let them

think they had the upper hand.

Actually, we figured

there were gonna try

to knock him out, so he kind of

volunteered to be

more of a pinata.

We were all waiting for them,

and we had a few

surprises of our own.

Any minute now.

I got 'em.

Everyone get ready, looks like

the party's about to begin.

- They just

passed checkpoint A.

- Copy, now

real quick sneak back

into stage one the back way.

- They just passed point B.

- Copy, meet

up with Michelle,

and get ready to

take these guys down.

You have to press the

button and let it go.

No don't press it again.

No okay, I know

it's confusing Lana.

[speaking foreign language]

Lana, Lana, okay

Jacob do your thing.

- Yeah I see 'em, I'm

moving to stage one as per plan.

- Copy and get ready

to take these guys down.

- Gotcha.

- Get ready Diesel,

they're right behind you.

You're ready.

See a pinata.

- Where's Theo?

- Shh, I'm talking to you,

you little cheerleader.

Who are you?

- Axel Johnson, I'm

the manager here.

- Well Axel Johnson,

is that for me?

- Well that depends,

you got the dog?

- Yeah I got the

dog, he's outside.

I got proof of life.

- Theo.

- Where I come

from, we don't treat

pretty little ladies like this.

- I don't care

where you come from,

just give me the stuff I want.

- Here's your

schematics, take it

and get the hell out of here.

- It's all in here.

All there.

- Yeah.

- Come here,

come here you.

- Na, na, na, na, na.

I'm right here.

- Let's do this.

- This is bull crap man,

let's get the stuff

and get out of here.

- Put the mask on.

- I hate this mask.

- All wrapped

up here officer.

- All right,

let's go you pinheads.

Nice job everyone.

- Hey boys, when you

get downtown, say

hey to Big D for me.

The authorities

showed up quickly.

Things started moving fast after

the police took

those pinheads away.

Turns out they were working for

a slimy lawyer with

government credentials.

He was trying to

make a quick buck

selling satellite schematics

to some shady foreign types.

- Look, they had the schematics

on them when they

were picked up.

Mental giants, didn't

want to take this job.

Is that a threat?

Yeah, I don't like your

tone of your voice.

What do you mean you

know where my family is?

You don't even know

where you wife is.

- Oddly he

disappeared and he was

never seen or heard from again.

But the plot was

foiled, and actually

it was a pretty big deal.

Meanwhile, as you

may have guessed,

the girls went on

to win the finals.

Big celebration.

But, that was just

the beginning.

When news of what

happened got out,

and with an election coming up,

the mayor and the local

politicos all joined in.

We all become well I'll

just say it, celebrities.

And Ms. Pamela and Ms.

Andrea, were awarded

scholarships, went

to NYU and then

were recruited into Homeland

Security right away.

Ms. Michelle, followed her

dream and used her scholarship

to become a successful

veterinarian up

in Santa Barbara.

She's a top dog in the state's

animal rights campaign.

The Yugoslavian chick, well

she went back to Yugoslavia.

From what she said I guess it's

down right beautiful there.

When there's not war going on.

I think it's called Bosnia now.

And me, my vast experience

and expertise in construction

and my national leadership

abilities really paid off,

and I started moving

up in the world.

Axel Johnson's Guide To Fixin'

And Flippin' Real Estate

has become somewhat

of a hit TV show,

which can be seen

every night on cable.

The house is no longer there.

But my student turned a profit.

There's more than

one way to skin

a cat in the real estate biz.

Hi, I'm Axel Johnson,

and the next 30 minutes

you will learn how

to make big money

for yourself,

instead of your boss.

Live the life you

always dreamed of.

You will get my personal

insight into making

significant profit potential

with minimal downside risks.

Sit back, kick your shoes off,

and let me paint you a picture.

Change your future, nation

wide resources available.

Okay.

Just come to my free

five and a half hour

presentation at the

luxurious Shangri-La motel,

multipurpose

complex, cocktail bar

and lounge and ballroom,

just off state route 69.

I love that place.

Free box lunch included.

It's chicken.

And learn my unique system in

creating wealth in real estate.

Whether you want to

buy one house a year

or one house a week, let me

show you the opportunities.

I will teach you how

to identify a property,

gauge it's fixing expenses,

and I'll even tell you how

long it will take it to flip.

Then if I like the

deal, I may even

assist you in getting

bridge financing.

Call and register for your

guaranteed personal reservation.

Seats are extremely limited.

Oh baby

You make me come alive

Oh make me, you

make me come alive

You make me, you

make me, you make me

You make me come alive

- Look a kumquat tree.

- Kumquat,

what's a kumquat,

you're making that up.

- Oh kumquats,

we've had those before.

You eat 'em skin and all.

I see you across the floor

Our eyes meet and

then there's more

A feeling takes control

You've got my soul alive

My body starts to shake

My heart pounds

for goodness sake

My temples was up and down

And my head is spinning

round and round

I'm floating way up the sky

And I tell you why

You make me come alive

- Oh I just got to get my hat.

Oh make me, you

make me come alive

- I'm let you in on a little

confidential information.

Before we separated

ways, Homeland Security

brought us in on a

couple of investigations.

They thought our

talents could be of use.

Sort of a modern day

Charlie's Angels.

You have a couple of hours, grab

a glass of your

favorite beverage.

You should already

have your shoes off.

And cozy up, you're

in for a treat.

This was a weird case.

There's no motive, no weapon,

no witnesses,

except for the dog.

When the police

finally arrived, they

just tried to knock

the door down.

That's when I

started to thinking,

perfect job for the girls.

Ms. Michelle hit the

roof, squeezed through

a 12 inch pipe for the

AC, I have no idea how.

Don't care, Ms. Andrea,

hit the tunnels.

Came up from underneath

the building.

Ms. Pamela repelled

down the side,

cut a hole in the

glass and that's that.

What no one realized this

entire time was there's

a dog tied to the bike

rack 15 feet from the door.

So, I called the best pet

psychic detective in the state.

Took about 15 minutes to

get there from helicopter.

That give the girls just

plenty of time to get in place.

When she arrived, took

her about a minute or two

to squeeze that information

out of the chihuahua.

A slight communication barrier

'cause it only spoke Spanish.

But once we got the information

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