Chef Page #4

until we all say it's OK.

"Why don't you come

by again tonight?

"I got a whole new menu

just for you, a**hole."

- No, gimme the phone.

- That's not good. Not a good idea.

Don't do it!

- That's out there now, bro.

- It happened.

- Why'd you do that?

- You can't take that back.

You know what? I threw

down the gauntlet.

So get ready for a fight.

I'm gonna go drop Percy

off and come back

and cook the menu we

should've cooked last time.

- So where are we going today?

- I gotta drop you off, kid.

I gotta go shopping for

tonight. I'm sorry.

- Can I come with you?

- No, I'm sorry.

How come I'm, like, never

allowed to be in the kitchen?

Because it's hot and it's loud and

there's a lot of bad language.

So? I hear bad

language all the time.

- Where?

- Online.

What kind of website could a 10-year-old

get on that has bad language?

- YouTube.

- YouTube has bad language?

Could I at least come

shopping with you?

No.

I got a lot to do and

a lot on my mind.

Look who's waiting for us.

Hi, Mommy.

Come here. I miss you.

Give me a kiss.

- Hi.

- Hi.

So my publicist said that

she can talk to you.

- Why don't you talk to her?

- About what?

- About Twitter?

- Everybody's reading what you wrote.

- I don't think you get it.

- Get what?

Let's call her. Go inside

with me and we'll call her.

Yes, please, tell her

to call me immediately.

I have Carl with me.

I'm at home. Thank you.

- Alright, I'm gonna go.

- No, no, she's gonna call right back.

- She was on the other line.

- You're making more of this than it is.

I just don't like to

see you like this.

Like what? I'm fine.

I have to get to work.

You're never going to be happy

cooking for someone else.

Is this about the food truck?

I don't wanna talk about it again.

Why not? You can cook your own

food. You can be your own boss.

I can book you for all the

parties that I'm doing.

I appreciate the offer, but

I don't need any charity

from you or your ex-husband.

- Why are you being so proud?

- Because I'm working.

And despite what you might think,

I have complete freedom to

cook whatever I want now.

I like my life.

And as far as your publicist goes,

when she calls back, you let her know

that I understand I shouldn't

tweet any pictures of my dick

and any career advice

should be kept to oneself.

OK? I'll see you later. Thank you.

- I got all this sh*t in the trunk.

- Want me to do this?

- Is it on?

- Yeah. We're doing it.

- We're doing it, guys.

- Come on. Let's get everything out.

I want the Cambros, the delis

out so we can start plating, OK?

Carl, can you tell me what's

going on for tonight?

No, no, no, how many

covers do we have tonight?

How many? We are overbooked.

But I just printed out all the menus.

Good. It's not the menu you

got printed. It's different.

- That's what I understand.

- We're doing a tasting menu.

- Carl, I have to put the wine...

- A tasting menu for Ramsey Michel.

- I know, but we...

- He's coming. He knows about it.

- Did you see the 'Eater' article?

- I did.

- I'm so excited for you.

- It's all over the internet.

- I love it when you're like this.

- Taste the food.

Bring in the waitstaff,

have 'em taste the food.

Make them understand

what we're going for.

- OK.

- OK?

We're not pushing specials today.

The whole menu is special.

- I'm excited.

- I'm excited. I'm finally happy.

I'm happy, OK?

Am I allowed to be happy at work?

Carl. Carl. We're staying

with the same menu, right?

I have something really

good planned for tonight.

I'm gonna let you...

It's not sweetbreads.

- You're gonna be able to taste it.

- That may be true.

But we have the most reservations

on a work night since we opened.

- You realise that?

- I know. I was on Twitter.

- Yeah.

- I was promoting the restaurant.

- I was on Twitter.

- What? Yeah, that's another thing.

From now on, before you post

anything online, I OK it. Alright?

The whole reason

everybody's here tonight

is because I called out

Ramsey Michel online

and they're all coming to

watch me stick it in his ass.

Yeah, and you're gonna

twitter an apology

for calling the most respected

critic in Los Angeles an a**hole.

- I'm not gonna f***ing apologise.

- What do you mean, you're not...

- You see what he wrote about me?

- I don't give a f***...

- He started it!

- ..what he wrote. I don't care.

You're a cook. You're a chef.

This is what you've been cooking

for years, and it works.

And either you cook the menu that

our customers have come to ex...

- You want me to cook the same food?

- The same exact...

The same food that he ripped apart?

The same guy who's coming tonight?

The restaurant isn't

filled with critics!

It's filled with people

that've been eating your food

for the last 10 years!

So now, suddenly, you're

gonna be an artist.

Well, be an artist

on your own time.

- Listen to me.

- No sweetbreads!

- Listen!

- No calves' brains.

I'm not cooking sweetbreads!

Listen to me.

The kitchen is my domain.

That was our deal.

I don't give a f***

what the deal was!

The deal is now changed.

Either you stay or you go.

It's up to you. End of discussion.

- We got a full house of people... - Yeah.

- ..who are coming tonight... - Yeah.

- ..To eat my food.

- No, it's not your food, Carl.

It's not your food.

By definition, it's my food

because it's my restaurant.

I pay for the glasses.

I pay for the napkins.

I pay for the spoons.

I pay for Molly's salary.

I pay for your entire

staff's salary, OK?

So you either cook

my menu or Tony can.

Tony, you've been cooking

it half the time anyway.

Tell the truth. Right?

So you're threatening

to fire me now?

Am I threatening to fire you?

No, I'm telling you

what I'm prepared to do

if you don't cook my menu.

Subject closed.

Well, why don't you cook

the menu without a chef

and we see how it goes tonight?

Let's go, Tony. F*** this.

Tony.

Good luck.

- Oh, no way.

- Good luck, Jack.

- No way, man!

- Martin, Martin.

- No. Hell, no. Come on.

- You stay. Stay.

Martin, come on. Let me

go, buddy. Don't do it.

Don't do it. Just stay.

- Call me. Call me.

- You'd better believe it, yeah.

Tony, you got a full house

tonight. Be a pro, OK?

Let's go! Get the leg on.

Coming up.

Get that lava cake out, table 22.

Bring that sh*t back.

Bring that sh*t back.

This is table 22.

Just a moment, please.

No, no, we gotta chiz this.

You didn't chiz it.

Welcome back.

Lovely to see you again,

Mr Michel. Right this way.

Thank you.

- I hope traffic wasn't too bad.

- No, it wasn't.

- 30, I got one.

- Table 30's still missing the risotto.

What's going on with all

these tickets, man?

Yes? How can I help you?

Isn't this, um...

Wasn't this on the menu

last time I... I... I visited?

I believe it was.

I was under the impression that

tonight was gonna somehow be...

be different, more of an event.

I understand.

Is there something we can do

to make you more comfortable?

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