Cherry Pop Page #3

she tried her damnedest

to prove it.

Well.

So hon, tell me,

what are you doing here?

You mean, why am I

putting myself through this?

Yeah.

Same as everyone else.

I just want to perform.

That's right, you're the singer.

Yup.

So, I'm assuming

it's not going so great,

'cause you're about

to put some panties on.

No, it's not.

But I've been trying

different things, and, you know.

Different things like tonight?

Yeah, exactly.

I'm just trying to find my path.

Except I'm not gonna be able

to test my routine tonight,

so I'm not really sure

what I'm doing here.

Well, I've said it once

and I'll say it again.

This place doesn't exactly give

you what you're looking for.

Yeah, well,

we always want more.

It's our brightest talent

and our biggest curse.

The dream for something bigger,

something better.

Or just something different.

I've always been baffled

by people who are content

with what they have

and where they are.

For the rest of us,

life seems to be about

managing the balance.

But when you start

asking yourself

if you've gone too far

in pursuing your dreams,

or if your dreams

are truly dead,

the answers you seek are not

gonna be where you're looking.

Especially when you're staring

yourself down in a mirror.

Sometimes you just have

to grab the makeup at hand

and throw yourself

into the deep end.

Ladies and gentlemen,

after much wait,

we finally bring to you our

hostess needing the mostest.

Woo-woo.

Miss Kitten Withawhip.

Thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to Cherry Pop .

How you all feeling tonight?

Woo, woo, woo. Yeah.

I think I've actually

had sex with about,

two-thirds

of the audience tonight.

So, go to the clinic,

because that was

the purpose of this show.

-All right.

-Woo-woo.

Looking good, baby,

looking good, yeah.

And we have

our all-time favorite,

Craig's List killer

in the house.

Make some noise for Terry,

ladies and gentleman.

Woo, woo,

Terry in the building, baby.

First name f***ing

last name Terry.

Terry has scared more

middle-aged white men

than prostate cancer.

How you feeling tonight, Terry?

I'm trying,

time flies, you know.

All right, calm down, calm down.

Now some of you guys may

have heard, it is actually

Lady Zaza's last show

with us tonight.

Or anywhere, for that matter.

-She's done.

-Yep, yep.

-That's it.

-Yep.

But listen, as in every week,

we're gonna bring out

all the girls

you've grown to know and hate,

and we're gonna

bring out one new girl.

And someone's gonna

get that cherry popped.

Woo-

And of course please

put your hands together

for DJ Oscar,

ladies and gentlemen.

Now Oscar had the beautiful

and innocent mind of a child.

And when he agreed to deejay at

the bar for only college credit,

no one had the heart

to tell him that he would

have to actually enroll

to receive them.

Third grade education,

thank you DJ Oscar.

Stop.

It's time to see

what you came here to see.

Men performing in dresses

they probably stole from Target,

'cause they can't

pay their rent.

So, get ready to throw

some crumpled up dollars

at people who have made

their parents very sad.

Let me hear you make some noise.

What did she just say?

I'm not gonna tell you one more

time, I didn't steal your sh*t.

-I wish you - - no.

-I didn't steal your sh*t.

-You need to quit, b*tch.

-Quit what, b*tch?

If you taking my

things one more time.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- I don't.

-Ladies.

-What?!

What is going on here?

Icky Azalea over here

keeps taking my things.

Listen here, you ghetto b*tch.

-Ghetto?

-I don't...

- ...yes, ghetto, honey.

- No.

I will have you know

I am from Connecticut.

And I went

to a Ivy League school.

You probably

didn't even get a GED.

- GED?

- Yes.

Not everybody can

afford college, Michael.

I've been trying

to tell your ass...

-Will you two quit it?

-What?

I'm the - -.

-And you.

-What?

You're up. Get out there.

Listen here, b*tch.

No, it's not over, b*tch.

-All right, let's go, come on.

-It ain't over, b*tch.

No.

-I'll be waiting for that ass.

-Come on.

-F***ing bullshit.

-All right, you.

All right, let's get

it together, come on.

Don't tell me

what to do, hold on.

This is a hate crime.

A hate crime.

I hate you.

You got some more to say?

I do.

-You got some more to say?

-Ladies.

I always got

something to say, b*tch.

All right, all right, we'll take

care of this after the show.

To my dearest loved ones.

You want to

come back for more?

You ain't nothing.

You ain't nothing.

Let's do this.

B*tch. Are you crazy?

To whom it may concern.

By the time

you'll be reading this,

I will be reunited with my love.

Having leapt out of the window.

It's time to make some noise

for the only white girl

who lives in Compton.

Please put your hands together

for Miss White Chocolate.

Yeah.

I can't have

this kid right now

Don't know who

the daddy is anyhow

I can't afford it

I'm gonna have to abort it

It's my right

Yeah.

It's my prerogative

I'm the one who says

if this baby's gonna live

All right, Zaza, that's it.

I'm calling the tow company.

Hello, is this Cici's Towing?

I'll be right back, I got to

go take a hot, steamy dump.

All right.

Hey.

Any of you know

how long until I'm up?

What, is that a weird...?

Are you growling?

Okay,

If I was 17 I would

flush you at the prom

What?

Is she talking about...?

I feel you feeding

like a parasite

- Rock a bye

-Is that a baby?

I would say, goodnight

I can't have

this kid right now

Ain't no baby of mine.

Don't know who the daddy

Can you two

shut the f*** up?

Thank you.

Sh*t, really?

I just said, shut the f*** up.

Thanks to Roe Vs. Wade

we can be pro-choice

Now only God can judge

and shake a finger

But I'm still in the alley

with a wire hanger

I can't afford no time

I can't afford

no energy, yo

Let me spell it out

in alphabet cereal

N-O-B-A-B-I-E-S

N-O-B-A-B-I-E-S

N-O-B-A-B-I-E-S

This goes out to all

my selfish b*tches

This goes out to all

my selfish b*tches

- Well.

- My goodness.

Come on girl.

I can't have

this kid right now

I don't know who

the daddy is anyhow

I can't afford it

I'm gonna have to abort it

Shake it, you sure

can't afford a baby.

I can't afford it

I'm gonna have to abort it

Hey

That baby was yo's.

You're not coming?

What do you mean?

Yes, she's here.

Yeah, because

your mother's such a gem.

An ex-convict.

I - - yeah, yeah,

she got out early on parole.

That's not the point, honey.

Who is it?

It's just me.

I'll, I'll be right out.

Everything okay?

Yeah, of course.

Everything's fine,

why would you ask that?

You just

sounded upset in there.

No, no, nothing

to be upset about.

Absolutely, no reason to...

At that time, Ariela was

going through a rough patch.

Her boyfriend, Brendan, just

didn't understand her mother.

Her mother

just didn't understand

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