Cherry Pop Page #7

We're all here

for the same reason.

But you're straight, though.

You do know

there are straight guys

who've put on women's clothes

before, right?

Puh, name one.

Dame Edna.

Yes, I get it.

Eddie Izzard.

Eddie Lizard,

what the hell is that?

Eddie Izzard,

how dumb or old are you?

Look, don't you dare talk

about my age like that, okay.

Yes, just because your wifey

has you wearing her clothes.

Hey, hey.

You listen to me,

you can say whatever

the f*** you want about me.

But if you ever talk about

my fianc(Copyright)e again, any of you,

I will shove your d*cks

so far up your own asses

you won't be able to tuck again.

Having a cross-dressed,

completely legal immigrant

in a chokehold

was never part of my dream.

But that's how dreams work.

We only see the destination,

not the road we have to travel.

And in such times,

just remember to stay calm.

You got it?

Si, si..

I don't need to explain

anything to you, you, or you.

Finish my makeup somewhere else.

You got anything

else you want to say?

No.

No.

You know, I've seen that all.

What's that for?

B*tch.

B*tch, my tape out

it's five minutes ago.

God damn.

You know what,

my nauseas are gone.

What?

My nausea, my are gone.

I have no clue

what you're saying.

Look, we gonna have

to get us one of them straight,

angry mother f***ers

come up in here some more.

Girl.

Thanks

for sticking it in me

I had a really great time

Ba-da-da-da, da-da-da, hey

We should do it again

Who, baby, I love your way

I got to tell you

I love your way

I want to be with

you night and day

Thanks for sticking it,

inside of... me

Hey.

Hey.

I just wanted

to say I'm sorry,

for the way that

I treated you back there.

I, I shouldn't judge you,

because I've got

enough sh*t in my life,

and I was a real b*tch.

And I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Being a queen means,

you never have to say sorry.

I guess that's true.

I like that.

Saying I'm sorry

is for the weak.

Yeah.

That's a good outlook on life.

Go get 'em, man.

All right, ladies and gentlemen.

It is that time again.

This is the moment

you've all been waiting for.

Where we turn a princess

into a queen.

Little b*tch cub Simba

into a fierce lioness Nala.

We take Ron Paul

and turn him into Rupaul.

It is time for somebody

to get that cherry popped.

Can I bum one of those, honey?

Sure, honey.

- Thanks, I really need it.

- You're welcome.

You ever feel like you haven't

listened to people enough?

Wait.

Look at me.

How can I ever go on stage again

when I'm as pathetic as this?

I couldn't even

kill myself, Marcello.

How can I accomplish

anything when you're gone?

Where is the purpose?

Where is the beauty?

Where is the passion to perform?

Thank you.

Thank you, no really.

Gosh.

Hey,

I'm running really late.

I just want to know if

the show's still going on?

Hon, right there,

Cherry Pop .

-Amazing, thanks, guys.

-You're welcome, too.

And that one did

look like a woman.

But there's no mistaking

the real thing,

like ourselves, right, honey?

Damn.

Bano, el bano.

My gosh.

Look at the big light switch.

My music.

I'm still alive

in here, you know.

Can't never have nothing nice.

Bah.

What the hell just happened?

It's not spinning,

it's not spinning.

What the hell just happened?

I'll take a look.

Courage can

be an unreliable friend.

Luckily for me,

my better half was not.

I had told her not to come,

but if it wasn't for her,

I wouldn't have

gone another step.

Especially in those heels.

She was my partner,

she was my woman,

and I was her man.

Ave Maria

Don't fall for it girl,

sh*t.

What the hell, Terry?

Brilliant, all of them.

Let's go.

Woo.

Brilliant, brilliant,

brilliant, yes. Brilliant.

-Yeah.

-Terry?

- Sh*t.

- Terry, is that you?

Hey, baby, hey baby.

Don't you baby me,

mother f***er.

What are you doing here?

I was just having, you remember

I went out to get some milk

and I was coming right back.

Soon, no, mother f***er,

have you lost your mind?

No, I was going back...

...what is this sh*t

on your clothes?

I was... you don't

even want to know.

- No, get your big ass over here.

- Okay, sh*t, damn.

Bye, Terry.

Listen, I wouldn't

wear that one if I was you.

Just I, I like

what you're wearing.

No, no, no, it's not good.

Listen, your mom,

she'll be fine.

You - -

we need to get you

ready for the finale.

Hurry up.

By the way,

good job.

Who knew?

Girls, let's make haste.

You.

Woo, girl.

I don't know how long

this night has felt for y'all,

but let me tell you, back stage,

this is one hell of a night.

Can I bum a cigarette?

Thanks. Great.

Do you have anyone in the show?

My son.

You?

My fianc(Copyright)e.

Honey.

I have something to tell you.

Words cannot express

the debt of gratitude

I have for you.

You woke me up.

And so I thank you.

Whoever you are.

Whatever your

identity really is.

Whoever they call you.

In my memory you'll always

be that nameless hero.

Nameless hero.

Who saved my life.

I mean...

-I could just tell.

-Sh.

Nameless hero.

Nameless hero.

Okay.

Now girls,

we have a show to do.

Someone get me

in my corset now.

Got it.

Standing there,

looking back into the eyes

that were once

judging and dismissive,

I now saw remorse.

I saw guilt.

Humiliation.

They knew they messed up,

done wrong, made a mistake,

been defeated and

out-dragged when they...

Okay, okay, okay, you know

we can hear all that, right?

What?

You know that stuff you do

and it's your voice and things.

Yeah, b*tch, you know

I can do that sh*t too.

Yeah, we were just

staying quiet out of politeness,

but right now it's getting

seriously ridiculous.

Hey, when are we going to those

tea club, some hunting party?

Wait, have we always

been able to do this?

I'm about to bring back

to the stage

our very first cherry pop.

That's right,

and this b*tch is old.

They say most drag queens

age like fine wine.

This b*tch age like

Greek yogurt, it's disgusting.

Wait till you see it.

This b*tch is so old, she used

to baby sit Joan Rivers.

This b*tch is so old, her

social security number is one,

and she's excited 'cause

it's Jell-O day at the center.

Brendan.

She went all out, she

put her teeth in for the show.

Look, if you're gonna

try to be nice to me, or...

Sh.

Make some noise for Lady Zaza.

Come on, people, clap.

Milk.

You got to learn tonight.

Baby, you...

Hell no,

f*** that sh*t, come on.

There was a time

when a one-night stand

Went always exactly

as I had planned

You liked my ass

and you gave it a smack

And a 40-ounce later

I was flat on my back

If you want my petunia,

you get down on your knees

But you ain't gonna get it

like a quarter with cheese

Baby, this ain't no

drive-through window

Yeah, I work at McDonald's,

but I think you should know

I'm a two-night lady

Not a one-night

Woo.

Tonight ain't the night

But tomorrow for sure

So, when you

get to calling me again

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