Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Page #3

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And when I do get any money,

I need it for my inventions.

- There isn't any left.

- Jeremy and I have been thinking.

- It's our treasure chest.

- These things are enormously valuable.

Look. An ivory tusk.

That must be worth a fortune.

And diamonds.

- And a golden crown.

- It's probably King Alfred's.

It needs cleaning up a little.

Take them. You can sell them.

Never mind about the car.

You can spend it all on your inventions.

Thank you, children.

All these wonderful things.

They're very precious. But I'm afraid

other people wouldn't appreciate them.

Why not?

Cos other people

don't see things the way you do.

Let's go to bed.

And don't you worry.

Things will come right somehow.

## A gentle breeze

from Hushabye Mountain

## Softly blows o'er Lullaby Bay

## It fills the sails

of boats that are waiting

## Waiting to sail

your worries away

## It isn't far

to Hushabye Mountain

## And your boat

waits down by the quay

## The winds of night

so softly are sighing

## Soon they will fly

your troubles to sea

## So close your eyes

on Hushabye Mountain

## Wave goodbye

to cares of the day

## And watch your boat

from Hushabye Mountain

## Sail far away

from Lullaby Bay

All the lovely colours.

Get your balloons here.

Hurry along now. These lovely

toffee apples a ha'penny each.

Any more for any more?

Which one of you ladies and gentlemen

would like an automatic haircut?

I've stood in this marketplace

for 25 years.

I do not profess to make dead men talk.

Hey, now, here you go there.

Who's for an automatic haircut?

Only threepence a time.

You may have long, short or straight hair,

it makes no difference

to the automatic hair-cutting machine.

Here, Cyril.

You could do with an haircut.

Cut me hair?

That's where me strength is.

Sir, you look like a man

who could do with a haircut.

Go on, Cyril.

- Come on, sit down.

- Hold that, then.

You have a lot of hair.

Would you like an estimate?

Very funny. Get on with it.

Just sit tight, while I lower

this hair- cutting machine.

We'll have you finished in a minute.

- I feel a right nana sitting here.

- You look lovely. It will be smashing.

- You keep you eyes on that geezer.

- Yeah, all right.

- What's goin' on?

- It's all right.

Nothing to worry about.

A little friction to start.

- It tickles.

- You always say that.

Oh! Oh! Cyril!

- You're smoking.

- I'm on fire.

Stop it!

- Excuse me.

- Me head's on fire.

It's all right, sir.

What you done? Give me a mirror.

A mirror?

I'll go home and get you one.

Look at me hair.

- Where is he? I'll kill him.

- There he is, mister.

I'll smash your teeth down your throat.

There he goes, down there.

Come on. You're too fat

to catch him, are you?

Oi, big bonce.

Get out of it!

There he is. Get out me way!

Oi!

- Hurry up. We're on.

- Get out the way.

## A gentleman's got a walking stick,

a seaman's got a gaff

## And the merry men of Robin Hood

they used a quarterstaff

## On the Spanish plains inside their canes

they hide their ruddy swords

## But we make do with an old bamboo

and everyone applauds

## One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven eight

## Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo

## You better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

## You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot

## But you better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

- ## When punting on the beautiful Thames

- ## You use a sturdy pole

- ## To protect their fair complexion

- ## Ladies use a parasol

- ## It's useful in the underbrush

- ## To have a hefty spear

## Right, but what we do with an old

bamboo makes everybody cheer

## One, two, three, ho!

## Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo

## You better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

## You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot

## But you better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

Have a go, mate.

- ## A flier in an aerial plane

- ## He steers it with a stick

- ## A collier in the pits of Wales

- ## He leans upon his pick

## Now every wheel of an automobile

revolves around the shaft

## But what we do with an old bamboo

makes everyone go daft

## And, one, two

## Me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo.

## You better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

## You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot

## But you better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

## One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight

## And a one, two, three, four

## And five, and six, and seven

## Oh, me ol' bamboo, me ol' bamboo

## You better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

## You can have me hat

or me bumbershoot

## But you better never bother

with me ol' bamboo

You better never bother

with me ol' bamboo!

- Thank you.

- Here.

- Thank you very much.

- And thank you.

It's Daddy. He's got the car.

I got it.

He's got the car!

Come on.

Hello!

What do you think of this?

Isn't she a beauty?

That's a nice pile of junk, my boy.

It needs a little work,

but there's a fine engine under here.

- It doesn't go, though, does it?

- Not yet, but it will.

You can make it go, can't you?

We're gonna give it a try.

Put a hand to the wheel.

George, give us a hand here.

- OK, heave!

- We're off! Hurray!

Comfortable, Grandpa?

It won't work, of course.

Another catastrophe.

- Left hand down.

- Come on, Grandpa, push.

Watch it, Jeremy.

Mind the bicycle.

Ah, good. Keep coming. That's it.

Watch out, Edison.

Keep coming.

- All right, governor?

- Many thanks, George.

- Now...

- Can we stay and watch?

We'd better go. You know what

your dad's like when he's working.

- But we wanted to stay and watch.

- I'll make you a nice cup of tea.

Don't overdo it, my boy.

- Right.

- You might exhaust yourself.

Come on!

"And the big brown bear

came lolloping over the mountain."

"No, the princess cried..."

"And the big brown bear

came lolloping over the mountain."

It's awfully quiet in there.

- Breakfast is ready.

- He's been there for days!

Come and have your breakfast.

Daddy said the car

would be finished today.

You'll be waiting a month of Sundays

before he's finished that. Come on.

- That's Daddy!

- He's finished the car!

- Gosh!

- Oh!

What do you think?

She's the most beautiful thing

I ever saw in my life.

It's wonderful.

Daddy, you're so clever.

- Can we go for a drive?

- A drive?

I have a better idea.

How about a picnic?

Let's get cracking.

You get the basket.

Get in, Jemima.

Mind the woodwork.

- Don't touch the horn.

- Here's the basket.

Put it on the back.

Don't touch that.

Grandpa, come on.

We're going on a picnic.

It'll never go, my dears.

Not if he's had anything to do with it.

But it is going.

Then it'll never stop.

Anyway, it's far too hot.

- Where are you going?

- Me?

I'm off to Alaska, me boy. Cheerio.

Goodbye, Grandpa.

Come on, Daddy.

- We're off.

- We're off!

Sit down, Jemima.

Are you ready?

- Yes!

- Here we go.

Mind your back, Grandpa.

Bye, Grandpa.

Nasty, smelly things, motor cars.

- What a funny noise it's making.

- It's talking to us.

- All engines talk.

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