Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker Page #7

that will allow her to run her f***ing mouth!

You set her up, she'll knock them down.

Fellas, you want your woman to be happy?

All you got to say is, ''How was your day?

''Honey, how was your day?''

Know why? 'Cause ''How was your day?''

is a 45-minute conversation to a woman.

And as a man, you don't really gotta talk.

You gotta just act like you're talking.

''Get out of here. Go on! l don't believe it.

''You don't say! Really? Get out of here!

''Go on. l don't believe it.

You don't say? Get out of here.

''l told you that b*tch crazy!''

You gotta throw in,

''l told you that b*tch crazy.'' You know why?

'Cause every woman's got another woman

at her job that she can't stand.

Women, y'all exaggerate everything.

You turn it into some Dynasty sh*t, like:

''She's trying to destroy me!''

What the f*** are you talking about?

You wrap up bags at J.C. Penney's!

What's she doing, ripping up your paper?

Fellas, you gotta talk.

Women, exact opposite.

Y'all gotta learn when not to talk.

That's right.

You ever notice how no man comes home

straight from work?

No man comes home straight from work.

A man get off work,

he got to go somewhere.

He got to drink something,

he got to smoke something...

he got to watch the game,

he got to hang with his boys...

he got to take a drive.

He got to do something

that will mentally prepare him...

for all the talking he gonna hear

when he get home.

Ladies, it ain't that you talk too much.

You just talk too much

as soon as we get in the f***ing door.

Let a man get situated.

We don't need to hear everything right away.

Soon as you take one step in,

''You're not gonna believe this....''

Let me get my other foot

in the f***ing door!

Let me get something to eat!

Let me get something to drink!

Let me take a sh*t!

Go in the f***ing kitchen

and get me my big piece of chicken!

l'm out of here. Thank you, New York!

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