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Cinderella: Once Upon A Time... In The West Page #4
- Year:
- 2012
- 287 Views
- ( grunts )
You'll catch on.
We already love you.
- First mate:
Amigos!( all applauding )
Gracias, gracias.
Muchas gracias.
Duchess:
Vladimir? Vladimir?
( all laughing )
( rattling )
( gasps )
Oh!
Oh ho ho! Traveling under
these horrible conditions!
This had better be
worth it, gentlemen.
Uh...
the woman
with sickly, pale skin
wears big, beautifuI stones
that shine just like diamonds.
( Iaughs )
That's because they are diamonds.
You poor, ignorant miscreant
little clown.
( all laughing )
Dark Lopez will scalp your wig
and read the weather report
with your intestines.
( growls )
What's wrong with you people?
You're embarrassing me.
What do l need louts
like you for?
You're all savages.
( grunts )
Ah, my lady Duchess.
( laughs )
With whom
do l have the honor?
Capitn Barbazul.
But my friends call me jefe.
Oh ha ha!
You remind me of a distant cousin, sir--
- admiral of the lmperial Fleet.
- Ho ho ho! My dear Duchess,
we've barely met each other
and we're already exchanging
compIiments.
He was a drunk--
a disgrace to the family.
( all laughing )
You are ticklish
like a small bubble of champagne.
Allow me to accompany you
to your quarters. This way.
Why, yes, of course.
l was beginning to worry.
( rattling, squeaks )
Where is the other haIf
of my business, you idiot?
- Where is the prince?
- Mi capitn...
there was a little bit
of a complication.
A complication?
Ah.
Another blow from that damn Big Storm
and his irritating IittIe pest.
No, jefe.
They were there this time.
And as I toId you,
he's not called
Big Storm, jefe, but--
( gags )
Duchess:
l'm waiting!
l am all yours, lady Duchess.
( laughs )
I want him,
you hear me?
lf not, you'll be eating sand
for the rest of eternity.
- ( grunts )
- ( moaning )
Oh, what a waste.
lt was a brand-new one.
Vladimir:
lt's simple.
You set me free, I don't marry anyone,
and you keep the ladies for yourselves.
Everyone wins.
Got it?
- Bob?
- Uh, not really.
Well, hmm...
What is that thing?
Uh, a violin.
- Huh?
- Uh, a musical instrument.
No?
Uh, a piece of wood.
Oh.
( Bob smacking lips )
- l'm the one he wants.
- No.
l'm the one.
l'm gonna have to remember
to get rid
of that stupid guitar.
Can't be putting up
with that every day.
Cinderella:
We can't justleave him there like that.
Little Cloud:
Whoa.
A squaw in Iove
is more careless
than a bIind chick
on the edge of a canyon.
- lf you say l'm in love one more time--
- ( chuckIes )
It's beside the point.
l'd do this for anybody.
lf you're thinking he'll remember you,
then you might as weII forget it.
l don't care if he remembers me.
l am what l am.
So you don't want
( laughs )
He's just kidding.
We'd better get a move on.
We can't stay here.
You?
Oh, it's just you.
- Good to see you too.
- Sorry. l took you for someone else--
- a young Iady.
- You trying to say l'm not one?
No, what l'm trying
to say is...
there was a young woman.
And never mind.
Okay, enough with all
the papoose taIk.
Look, we must
leave this place quickly
if you want to find
old "Squaw Feathers."
- He means your mother.
- Mm-hmm.
( dog barking )
"This is the reason why,
by this certified document,
I hereby officiaIIy appoint Capitn
lgnatius Lopez Santamaria Barbazul"--
that's me--
"as sole inheritor of my lands,
properties and related structures..."
Humph.
( groaning, sighs )
- Eh!
"...complete fortune
and all related merchandise therein."
- ( groans )
- Uh-oh.
There, all it needs
is your signature now.
Oh, l see.
And afterward,
what, may l ask,
do you intend to do
with me?
Afterwards?
Uh, Duchess, afterwards...
l'm afraid once we're finished,
I must kiII you.
( gasps )
No, really?
Please understand,
it is rather difficult
to inherit from someone
who is stiII aIive.
The paperwork alone
would be overwhelming.
Oh oh oh!
You pretend to be tough,
but my intuition says otherwise.
I know--
let's play a few hands, shall we?
( grumbling )
Let my rattlers
take care of her, jefe.
- She'll sign that before sunrise.
- Oh oh oh!
- Silencio!
- Duchess?
- ( moans )
Duchess, it's a priviIege to have
someone of your stature aboard.
l will agree to postpone
your signing
out of respect
for your royal person-ness.
Oh, you are too kind.
Tell me, sir, would you please ask
your manservant there
to fetch me a nice pot
of sarsaparilla?
( groans )
His manservant?
l am Dark Lopez the Bandit!
Son of Carbon XlV the Nefarious!
- l have--
- You heard what the lady said.
Go and find her
some sarsaparilla.
Go to Hades and back
if necessary.
Helping a stranger
like you're doing with me--
it's so rare.
- lt's-- it's magical. Oh!
I reaIIy don't want
to seem ungrateful, old man,
but couId you possibIy
give me back my violin?
- No.
- Okay. l see.
Could you please play
- It's fragiIe.
- ( scraping )
- Ahh!
( laughs )
F-sharp is always a little bit
awkward for me.
l'm happy to entertain,
but my heart's
not really into it.
No, my mother has been abducted
by dangerous, IawIess bandits,
the horror of a shotgun marriage
aII to be stuck out here
in the middle of nowhere
with a tone-deaf lndian
and a pigtailed cowgirl.
What?
Did he say "pigtailed cowgirl"?
Ah, sorry, I seem to have
forgotten myself. lt's the stress.
We pull him from Felicity's claws,
offer to save his mother,
and this is the thanks we get?
The sign of the scorpion
Or is it the sign of the horse?
l can never remember.
WeII, if he thinks he's so cIever,
he can go save his duchess by himself.
- Chicken!
- Chicken?
My ancestors were proud conquerors.
I Iaugh at the smeII of danger.
( laughs )
Without question, Cinderella,
your prince has cIass.
He's not my prince.
( Bobs snoring )
Uh...
Oh, my prince!
( grunting )
Where's my prince?
Make me forget that l should
smash you both like the bugs you are.
We'll find him, my darlings.
He's our son,
our hot cherry turnover.
Heads up, Ma!
- Should we go left or right?
- Straight ahead!
- ( grunts )
Come on, gallop faster,
you overgrown imbeciles!
- ( grunts )
( grunts )
This animaI
is just unmanageable.
Sometimes the F-sharp
is a little bit awkward.
Need a hand, Prince?
Ah.
Uh, thank you, Cinderella.
LittIe CIoud,
could you please stop playing?
You're torturing my poor ostrich.
Can't you see that?
Oh, brother, here you go.
lt's a Stradivarius knockoff
if you ask me.
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