Cinderella Page #3

in these rags, anyway.

(laughing)

Never mind the rags, mama.

And about that ugly

face, you got something

nobody at the ball has got.

You got tits and ass. (Laughing)

Yeah, you can go to the ball naked,

and make them all look like frogs.

(laughing)

Anyway, loosen up now.

We got to do something about that.

Yeah, mama, and you're

still going to the ball.

I'll handle that.

(laughing)

(mumbling)

(laughing) Do you have a little

something to drink, huh,

do you?

[Cinderella] We have

some goat's milk.

Goat's milk.

Are you a fool?

It means that mother

got a little something

in the medicine cabinet, huh.

Which is?

I never heard of that...

How about some smoke, dear?

(mumbling)

The yard's full in back.

No, honey, I mean, Flugel weed.

You sure do talk funny.

What weed?

Are you going on up?

Take a bath and leave the

rest to your fairy godmother.

(babbling)

(upbeat instrumental music)

I have looted half the kingdom

And I've stolen everything

from art to zebras

They were very little zebras

Proving I'm not prejudiced

I've ripped off

Saggitarians and Libras

The Libras owned the zebras

If you can't keep

up with the prices

I'll tell you what

this fairy's advice is

You got to grab it

And fence it while you can

It's a livin'

So stick it to the man

Gotta grab it

If bread is what you lack

It's called a livin'

So slip it in your pack

Won't my family be surprised

When I make my debut

They just won't

believe their eyes

And I'm sure they'll say too

Shove it in your Gucci sack

And load it on the

back of both your zebras

I couldn't fence the zebras

My stash of ladies underwear

Has even got a pair

of double D bras

I put them on the zebras

At every other

trade, I'm inept, so

I guess I'll spend

my days as a klepto

I'm gonna grab it

And fence it while I

can, because it's a living

You got to stick it to the man

So better grab it

If bread is what you lack

It's called a livin'

So I slip it in my pack

With a fairy for a friend

I've no worries since he'll

See that there's a happy end

And I know the prince will

Grab it and put it in your sack

Livin'

Uh-huh

Grab it and put it in your sack

Livin'

Uh-huh

Grab it and put it in your sack

Livin'

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

Grab it and put it in the sack

Livin'

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh-huh

Grab it Oh my, look.

Remember I said tits and ass.

(laughing)

You got a face to with it, yeah.

But now, what?

Now what?

Ah, I'll tell you what. (Laughing)

What good will a fairy

godmother be if he

couldn't help his godchild.

(laughing)

Let him go on and see

what's in his bag.

We're gonna do something about you.

(sniffs)

(grunts)

Yeah, I'll save this for later.

I don't know what the hell it is,

I'll save it for my

next garage sale.

Those people will buy anything.

Oh is that your magic wand?

My what?

Oh, oh, of course.

That's what it is.

Let's see now.

Which wand is this?

I have several, you know.

Could you, could you read this?

My eyes are a little

bad in the dark.

This wand can perform

miracles for good causes only.

Caution, all miracles null

and void at midnight.

Keep out of reach of children.

Does it really work?

That's what it says.

Could we try it on my hair?

It's all wet and stringy.

I'll give it a shot.

Stand back, mama.

This is some heavy sh*t.

(horn blowing)

(tinkling)

(babbling) Chili, sweet potato pie.

(laughing) Change that

girly b*tch in my eye.

(exploding)

(harp plucking)

(gentle instrumental music)

Damn, it works.

This thing ain't going

in no garage sale.

Fairy godmother, you've done it.

Sure, I did. (Laughing)

Come here, baby.

Come on to your sweet daddy.

Wait, oh no, I can't

get into the palace

without my invitation.

You ain't gonna

give up that easy.

(horn blowing)

Pasta. (Laughing)

Lasagna.

(chanting)

Bring the invitation out the fire.

(harp plucking)

[Cinderella] Fairy godmother,

you've done it again.

Hey mama, don't you

have any pumpkins?

No, we've got some watermelons.

(laughing)

Watermelons? (Laughing)

Yeah. (Laughing)

Sure, I hate to waste one.

(laughing)

All we gotta do is

find some horses.

Any rests around here?

No.

(mumbling)

I haven't seen any all year.

But we've got lots of snails.

Snails? (Laughing)

Yeah, but that sure gonna

be a drag. (Laughing)

Get it?

Okay, little snails, soon

you'll be eating oats and hay.

Step back, mama.

Go on.

(horn blowing)

Ride them high.

Ride them low.

However you ride them,

ride them with so.

(exploding)

It's beautiful.

Oh, fairy godmother,

it's beautiful.

(neighing)

White sails, black horses.

Ride on wild.

All we need now is a coachman.

You're looking at him, honey.

Oh, fairy godmother,

you're wonderful.

(laughing)

I guess we're all ready.

Now quite, child.

Step inside this coach here.

(gasps)

Pull up that dress

of yours child.

What for?

Did I ever tell you?

Pull up that dress.

And split those legs. (Laughing)

(horn blowing)

(chanting) The better be tight.

(squeaking)

(popping)

(groans)

(popping)

(hooting)

What was that for?

They have tits and ass, and

a pretty face. (Laughing)

But then I gave you as

napping p*ssy. (Laughing)

[Cinderella] What for?

You'll find out soon enough.

And when you do. (Laughing)

You'll thank me for it. (Laughing)

I could use a bottle of

Dom Perignon champagne.

(horn blowing)

What?

Do your stuff.

(harp plucking)

(swooshing)

(gentle instrumental music)

(mumbling) Sh*t.

Does wine only work for honkies?

Goddamn, get on up there.

(laughing)

Just a moment, my darling.

Yes, my sweetheart.

You must promise me

one thing, my darling.

What is that, my sweetheart?

You must control your

insatiable appetite tonight.

Oh, I promise not to eat

any starters whatsoever,

my sweetheart.

I don't mean food, my darling.

I mean. (Sniffs)

(sneezes)

Sex, sex, sex.

(gasps) Oh, dear.

(laughing)

This is a very

important occasion.

And we cannot afford

do jeopardize it.

But how could we

possibly jeopardize

the prince's birthday?

I refer to the loan our

country's trying to obtain

from the king.

We must be on our best

behavior tonight.

Well then, you stick

very close to me, darling,

and you protect me.

You know how the slightest.

(bouncing)

Little thing can just

set me right off.

I will, my darling.

Now, well, get in.

(laughing)

Get in.

(laughing) Yes, yes, yes.

Open the door, you fool.

(laughing)

Swine.

Get off, coachman, get off.

(playful instrumental music)

(moaning)

(grunt)

Hit those rocks.

Darling, control yourself.

(laughing) I can't.

(moaning)

Oh here, hold my hands.

Now hold my breasts.

Sit still.

(moans)

Take your hands off me.

(moans)

Halt.

(moans)

Don't.

Stop.

Don't.

Stop.

Don't.

(screaming)

Stop, stop.

(screaming)

(roaring)

Oh, oh, oh yes,

ride me hard, yes.

(moaning)

I've got something of a tummy.

(babbling)

Oh yes, oh yes.

Wait a little for me wait.

(moaning)

(laughing)

(screaming)

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