Cinderella Page #4

Oh yeah, yeah.

Wait, wait.

(screaming)

(rumbling)

[Man] Damn prince's skateboard.

How quaint.

(laughing)

You shall pay for

your clumsiness.

(slaps)

Both of you.

(classical music)

(laughing)

We're going to the ball.

(laughing)

Or you think I'm going to the ball.

(laughing)

(thuds)

Let the dancing begin.

(applause)

(classical music)

(upbeat disco music)

(classical music)

(applause)

Oh no.

Ha.

Look at him.

He's gorgeous.

What do you think?

10 inches?

Quite cute.

Eight inches, no more.

Eight.

Eight.

Nine and a half at least.

(classical music)

(thuds)

(screaming)

The prince will now choose a

partner for the next dance.

Shmuck.

(classical music)

(applause)

I've met all the beautiful

maidens of the kingdom.

But never have I seen you before.

I know.

You're a visitor from

another kingdom.

No, my prince.

What is your name?

My name is Cinde...

Never mind.

The night is young.

You will tell me later.

I love the mystery about you.

Tonight, I dance with no one else.

(clicks)

(classical music)

If I can't play in the palace,

I'm gonna rob it.

(sniffs)

(mumbling)

If I can't be a king, I'm

sure I don't smell like one.

(laughing)

[Woman] I bet he likes dogs.

Right.

That's why...

[Woman] Why are we doing here?

This dog show here today.

Creep.

And now, fair ladies,

the game you've been

waiting for all evening.

Backgammon.

Here are the rules.

When the pointer spins

and points at a maiden,

she will come behind

the screen to my bed

and them bow to my wishes.

I will now put my blindfold on.

Any of you who do not

wish to play the game,

may leave.

And forever hold your piece.

(laughing)

(gasps)

(screaming)

(laughing)

(gentle instrumental music)

(moaning)

(classical music)

(whispering)

(moans)

(speaking in foreign language)

(grunts)

(speaking in foreign language)

(laughing)

(growls)

(coughs)

(mumbling)

You play it down on my

gal, I'll pull your ass

all over your head and

make your dumb ass.

(growls)

You (speaking in foreign language).

Now get out.

(shrieking)

(kissing)

(playful instrumental music)

(gentle instrumental music)

(moaning)

(playful instrumental music)

(classical music)

(playful instrumental music)

(moaning)

Hello. (Whispering)

Don't smear my lipstick.

(screaming)

Oh not me.

(whispering)

(groaning)

(moaning)

(gentle instrumental music)

(moaning)

(popping)

(gasping)

The sensation.

It snaps.

(screaming)

Fairy, fairy godmother.

Yes, he gave me snapping p*ssy.

A snapping p*ssy.

The kingdom has a snapper.

(laughing)

A snapper, the kingdom

has a snapper.

Chamberlain.

(moaning)

A snapper.

Do you know what I'm smelling.

I smell a snapping p*ssy.

Why you don't got

no snapping p*ssy.

(speaking in foreign language)

(bell tolling)

Snapper.

(moaning)

(screaming)

A snapping p*ssy. (Laughing)

Chamberlain.

A snapping.

(screaming)

It's time.

(bells tolling)

It's time.

Time up, mama.

Time, time, time.

(screaming)

Time, time, time.

It's time.

Snapper.

A snapper.

The snapper.

Let go, man.

(screaming)

Let go snapper.

Mine.

(laughing)

(playful instrumental music)

In all my years as

king of this land

I've led an unusual life

I've run into many

a beast in which

Not the least of which is my wife

But now a young

maiden has come along

And she's made my spirit rise

With a rare and wondrous talent

That lies betwixt her thighs

Ooh, a snapper

Want to trap her

Although I'm rather envious

I also brim with pride

That lucky son-of-a-b*tch

Has found a snapper for his bride

It's always a rare occasion

when the king takes me to bed

Once we're there, I find he's

soft, not only in the head

But now he swells

about what dwells

Within this maiden's lap

The only thing he'll get from her

Is a common case of clap

Oh, that snapper

Want to slap her

If I should catch

her with the king

I'll tear her limb from limb

And if the prince is fortunate,

I'll save a piece for him

The royal family's in a state

That's best described as shock

The prince is running

through the halls

Behaving like a schmuck

The king is fleeing

from the queen

Not anxious to be crowned

The mystery wench departed

and she's nowhere to be found

Oh, that snapper

We'll kidnap her

The prince must now conduct

a search through hovels

Homes and huts

In order to retrieve the lass

who sheathed his royal putz

Oh, that snapper

We'll kidnap her

The prince will now

conduct a search

Through hovels, homes and huts

In order to retrieve the lass

who sheathed his royal putz

(trumpeting)

(upbeat instrumental music)

Good news travels fast.

I know.

Why don't you put inside

where it's a little stabler.

Then you know what we seek?

If this glass slipper

should fit one

of your lovely daughters,

then they will the bride

of the prince.

That is, if they can

pass the final test.

A final test?

My good man, why don't

we leave the prince

and your lovely daughters alone.

I'm sure they'd be

more at ease that way.

Oh of course, my lord. (Laughing)

Is it nice there in the palace?

Will I like living there?

It fits both of you.

Tell the truth, girls.

Were one of you one of the ones

who left me behind

that screen during

our little game last night?

Yes we were, my prince.

When she held me with you

know, it was like a vice.

Her charms did indeed snap at me.

Well mine snaps and crackles.

And mine pops.

We shall see.

We shall see.

What exactly is it that you do?

Not even pop?

How many people would have to die

before I became king?

(screaming)

Do you feel it snap?

No.

(groans)

Crackle?

No.

(moans)

(classical music)

No, no more.

I've been searching for days now.

Not only can't I find my snapper,

I can't find my pee-pee.

(laughing)

His majesty, the prince.

Oh, the prince do.

Come in, do. (Laughing)

Yes, yes, the prince.

Your highness. (Laughing)

(hooting)

Prince-y, not quite king sized.

(laughing)

You remember my daughters

at the ball that night.

Could I ever forget them.

(laughing)

Oh we're so happy, my prince.

Yes, we waited so long.

Never mind all this.

Ladies, please.

Try the slippers, yes.

Give me that.

(grunting)

(laughing)

[Stepmother] Oh, playful lot, eh?

(laughing)

Looks right. (Laughing)

(snorting)

I guess my feet swelled up

from dancing last night.

I'm sure if we try tomorrow.

Never mind tomorrow,

give me that.

(laughing)

Phew.

(coughs)

(laughing) Oh, they say

that glass shrinks at night

or the daylight sometimes.

Let us be off, Chamberlain.

Not yet, my prince.

Not yet?

But there's nothing left of me.

There's one maiden left.

Oh, don't worry about her.

My lord, she's never had on shoes,

let alone glass slippers.

Anyway, she never

went to the ball.

I should say not.

But I remember giving

her an invitation myself.

Come here, girl.

Let her sit.

(groans)

I know the slipper fits, my dear.

What did you say your name was?

My name is Cinde...

Never mind, girl.

It's no use, it's no use.

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