Circus Kane Page #3

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Thelma, I think it's

time we looked for clues.

Do we get a Scooby snack if we find one?

Rooby roo!

Stupid.

Hey! That door just opened.

Looks like a magic room.

Any fool can see that.

Come on, guys.

What just happened?

Let me try.

What the f***?

Hey, open the door.

It's locked.

Come on guys, open the door.

We have to get in there.

Oh sh*t, no no no, open the door!

Come on, guys!

Open the f***ing door! /

I'm sure he's fine.

Do something.

He doesn't sound okay.

Open the f***ing door!

Open the f***ing door!

No no!

Let me.

There you go, you loosened it up for me.

Oh Jesus.

What's going on?

Oh this is a gag, guys.

This is Kane.

See, it's nothing.

He doesn't think it's funny.

Where'd he go?

He's good. / Guys,

I think we should help him.

Oh sh*t. / No, that's a real chainsaw.

He's actually killing him, he's actually

killing him! / That's real!

No, Jake, Jake!

All right, we have to get out of here.

Chill. / This is not good.

I'm calling the police.

No no, don't be ridiculous.

That clown just murdered Jake,

I'm not going to be next.

Put the phone down.

Look, we just met this dude, guys.

I mean seriously, all Jake would talk

about was posting on social media.

This is scaring people 101, right?

Always have a plant.

Sure, this guy they let him cozy

up to us a little bit, right?

And then the next thing you know,

he's over there, they've

obscured his view from us

a little while while

they set up the gag.

I hate to agree with

anybody in this room,

but dude, you are absolutely right.

No dude, listen, I used to see

Kane's shows back in the 80's,

and I saw this one

where he'd take a random

audience member and offer him

$10,000 to cross this tightrope.

And when the guy would get about halfway

across the tightrope, he'd shake it,

and then the guy would fall off and get

impaled by a spike, it was awesome.

But I saw the show 10 times,

and every time I saw the show,

exact same audience member,

exact same fall,

exact same spike, and that's right

when we had the fire 20 years ago.

You know the burning man, we all thought

it was just a big freaking Kane joke.

I can't believe you guys haven't

seen this trick a million times.

Think about it, it's obvious

if you think about it.

Jake is working with Kane.

Yep.

I guess you're right, I mean, we

are at a haunted house attraction.

They are supposed to

be scaring us, right?

Let's just go check out the next room.

It's all right man, come on.

Nice try, Spooky the Clown.

I just saved you guys 250 G's.

Both doors are locked.

So where do we go now?

Maybe there was a hidden

message in the video.

Well it's not like we

can see that in here.

That guy filmed it.

I have a name, you know?

Yeah it's Marky Mark.

Hey man that's a compliment,

he was the voice of a generation.

Well... / Can we see the video? /

Sure.

Well hello my marvelous

little martyrs. / It's looped.

What?

What is that supposed to mean?

It's looped, it's a different voice

playing over an old Circus

Kane commercial from the 90's.

How could you possibly know that?

Dude, I play these

commercials all the time

in my shop, Big Ed's Hoarder

Heaven on 3rd and Main.

Everything's different

except the last line,

the last line's the same in the old

commercial and the new commercial.

Let the darkness guide you.

I think that's a clue.

What does it mean?

I'll tell you what it means.

I have no idea what it means.

You're a genius.

Black lights?

Guys, look.

Okay.

Nothing.

Got something.

Is there anything in there?

I'm checking.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have ourselves a key.

I'll take that, thank you.

All right guys, let's get out of here.

That was easy.

Yeah, because you didn't do anything.

Whoa. / What reeks?

Sh*t, it's locked.

Well look for some

more arrows or something.

God, it looks so real.

Even the smell.

You don't think...

Oh it's moving.

It's trying to say something.

My little piggies, you're doing so swell

climbing deeper into hell.

You will need to find

the key to set me free.

You are the apple of my eye.

Goodbye.

This is easy, we just gotta find a key.

Well it's a small room,

let's start looking.

Nothing over here so far.

I found something.

What makes you say that?

The bear and an apple.

The apple of my eye.

Does anybody have a knife?

Actually I got one.

Wouldn't have expected

Marky Mark to be a Boy Scout.

Oh it's because I'm wicked

smart Big Ed, wicked f***in' smart.

Say hello to your mother for me.

There's something in here.

Say hello to my little key.

Anybody want to try it out?

It's the key to my heart,

don't break it.

You would have a little key, Big Ed.

It doesn't work.

What do you mean it doesn't work?

I mean it's too small, it doesn't fit.

She literally just said that.

I've never had that problem, but

we're trying to solve riddles here.

You know, for a haunted

house attraction,

this house has more riddles

than it does scares.

Wait hold on, let me see that key.

That's 'cause this goes to a padlock.

How did you know that?

I used to steal sh*t, that's why

I owe people money and I'm here.

Dope.

Now what, genius?

OK, here goes nothing.

It's not real.

Oh God. / Oh yeah!

Oh God. / It stinks.

Hold on, there's something in here.

What is it?

Can't find it, oh God.

Oh it's just a speaker.

There's nothing...

there's no key or anything.

It's in the eye.

That's really gross.

Well who wants to try out that theory?

Somebody help me out, come

on, want to help me out?

Nope.

Seriously, nobody?

I'm lactose intolerant.

Fine, I'll do it.

All right.

I knew I liked you.

Oh God.

That's awesome.

Oh there we go, there we go.

There's the key.

Get the key.

Ooh, it's slimy.

Come on, let's get the f*** out of here.

This room creeps me out, oh God.

What was ahead of us was the worst

things anyone could ever imagine.

It was the depths of hell and

we were going in willingly.

We got a demon.

What the hell, that's not cool.

And two rooms.

More obstacles, 'cause

that's not annoying.

Like for sure, what's a matter,

don't you have an app for that?

Bring it on...

Do you think you're funny?

Just wondering 'cause it's sad.

That's a good one.

Hey.

Don't I know you?

You were in Night Terror with me.

Did you audition for that?

It is a ticket booth, maybe

we should take a ticket.

That's a really good idea.

Hi.

Seven tickets, please.

One.

I'm a one.

I'm a two.

I'm a one.

So I guess we should go to the door

that corresponds with our cards?

Yeah sounds about right.

Hey um bro, could I switch with you,

I think I would be better in this group?

We're good here, you should

probably help out grandpa.

Really, because I'd really like...

Dude, she said no. / Okay.

Please help me Obi-Wan,

you're our only hope.

Wow, that's a really old reference.

My God, you people live in caves.

Check out those photos.

Look at the clowns.

Each one they go down.

I think we're supposed to open

the doors at the same time.

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