City Slickers Page #8

make all the broken pieces of your life come together?

Hey, you don't wanna do it,

don't do it. We wanna do it.

- I'm not doing it.

- Don't do it. I'm not asking you to do it.

You have been talking me into doing stuff

like this all my life, and I am not doing it!

What, are you deaf?

I'm not asking you to do it.

Great!

Come on, Phil.

It's crazy.

We'll ride out together tomorrow

morning... without the herd.

They can do whatever they want.

Come on.

We've got cattle to move.

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?

I'm not listening to you.

Goddamn cattle drive.

- Just do your job.

- I'm not listening to you any more.

- Listen to the cows.

- Come on, you damn little dogies.

Hey, stop that!

Cut that out!

- What are you doing?

- They're not cooperating. It's just like bringin' up my kids.

- You take those. I'll take these.

- Hey, come back here.

Hey! Stop!

Stop it!

Stop!

Get back here!

Ah, the hell with you.

Who needs you, anyway?

What the he...?

How did I do that?

Hey, Mitch!

It's Mitch!

Mitchy the Kid!

Curly said there's nothing

like bringing in a herd.

Nice hat, partner.

Come on.

Hey, there's my little man.

Sorry I was late, but there was

so much traffic. Let's go. Ha!

Don't be ashamed.

I had the same problem.

Didn't you feel stupid?

I mean...

Didn't you feel... inadequate?

Yeah, for a while.

But then I overcame it.

Can I explain it you again?

Promise me you won't get upset.

OK.

It's not gonna do any good.

OK. If you wanna watch one show, but

record another show at the same time...

...the TV does not have

to be on channel three.

- It does.

- It doesn't.

If you're watching what you're

recording, it has to be on three.

- The TV or the machine?

- The TV.

I can record something

I'm not watching?

Yes, that's the point.

You don't even need a TV to record.

- How would I see it?

- To see it, you need a TV.

Shut up. Just shut up.

He doesn't get it!

He'll never get it. It's been four hours.

The cows can tape something by now.

Forget about it, please!

- How do you do the clock?

- You're dead. You are dead!

Yah! Yah!

Yah!

Let's go. Come on, Norman.

Keep up.

Norman, stay with the class.

Come on, boy.

Aw, sh*t.

- What do we do now?

- Like I should know?

- Come on, let's keep the herd together.

- Yeah, let's go.

Let's go, Norman. Norman,

what are you? Gene Kelly? Let's go.

Easy, boy.

Whoa! Easy, boy.

Go!

Go, go, go!

We're doing great, guys.

We're driving 'em.

That's perfect. We're lost,

but we're making good time.

This is the way, guys.

I can feel it.

- Is there a way around?

- That could be a hundred miles.

- It could take days.

- Is this supposed to be here?

There's probably an easy place

to cross but we missed it.

- This could be the easy place!

- Oh, God.

We did the best we could. Let's just leave

the herd and get the hell outta here, huh?

No.

A cowboy doesn't leave his herd.

You are a sporting-goods salesman!

Not today.

Easy... OK.

I started this...

and I'm gonna finish it.

I'm gonna finish it.

It's fast, but it's not deep.

Come on, bring 'em down.

Come on!

Let's go!

Oh, God.

Come on, move!

Move it!

Move it, now.

Come on.

Whoa!

Sh*t.

Come on, boys! Come on, now.

Move it! Moo cow!

Go, baby!

Go, baby!

Hey, Phil. I'm 39 and

I'm saying "moo cow" in a river.

Do you believe this?

- We did it!

- Hey!

Yah!

Here we go!

Norman!

Oh, God.

Whoa!

Norman!

Norman!

Norman!

Norman!

Norman!

Got you.

Help!

Oh, my God.

Mitch!

- Hey, Ed!

- Help! Help me!

Oh, no.

Mitch!

Oh, sh*t.

I'm coming!

I'm coming!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on!

Gimme your hand.

Gimme your hand.

You're crazy. You talk about me,

but you're crazy.

- You coulda been killed!

- We almost lost you, pal.

Nice catch.

It was like Mays in the '54 World Series.

- Vic Wertz.

- Vic Wertz.

- Let's bring 'em in.

- Yee-ha!

Great gobs of gooseshit!

It's them!

Ira! Ira!

Yahoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Yee-ha!

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

Way to go, guys.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Oh, Lordy, Lordy.

- Here's your herd.

- I'm as happy as a puppy with two peters.

We had a search party out lookin' for you.

- They didn't find us.

- Un-by-God-believable.

Bunch o' tenderfeet

bringin' in a herd.

Two weeks ago, you boys were as

worthless as henshit on a pump handle.

Look at you now!

I'm givin' your money back!

Now you're talking, Clay.

Instead of the money, you think

my dad and I could come back and...

...take the cattle back to New Mexico?

- Really, son?

Ordinarily, that'd be great,

but this herd's not goin' back.

What do you mean?

I'm gettin' top dollar

from the meat company.

- You mean these cows are...

- I thought you just moved 'em around?

Usually do, but prices are

sky high, and I can't pass it up.

Look, folks, it's not like

any of 'em have a lot to live for.

They don't have much of a life, anyway.

- Phil doesn't, but we wouldn't eat him.

- That's right.

This is our business, son.

This is not an endangered species.

It's what these animals are bred for.

All that meat under cellophane in the

store, where do you think it comes from?

Come on, fellas.

Just relax.

You done real good, cowboys.

Let's get some grub.

These cows trusted us.

They trusted us?

They don't even know us!

They followed us

because we yelled "Yah".

They're cattle.

What?

I've gotta stop bein' a schmuck.

You know, you were right, Mitch.

My life is a "do over".

It's time to get started.

I hope I can help.

I'm gonna go home...

...and I'm gonna get Kim pregnant.

- I hope I can help.

- Oh, Mitchy the Kid's in trouble.

- What about you?

- Hm?

- You gonna be OK?

- Yeah. Cos I know what he meant.

- Who?

- Curly. I know what this is.

- What?

- That's what you have to figure out.

- I'm gonna deck you, pal.

- No, that's what it is.

It's different for everybody.

It's whatever's most important to you.

For me, when I was in the river,

I was only thinkin' about one thing.

All that other stuff just went away.

Only one thing really mattered to me.

- Dad!

- Daddy, you're home!

I love you.

These faces.

I missed these faces.

- We missed you too, Daddy.

- It's no fun without you.

Hey, buckaroos.

- Next year, the North Pole.

- What?

We hire dog sleds and follow

the same route as Admiral Byrd.

Uh-huh.

Next Tuesday, coffee and cake.

Better.

Come here.

Hey, Phil!

You need a ride?

No, thanks.

I got a cab.

- So, how are you?

- Good. Things are good.

Look what I found.

Mm, that's nice.

Where was it?

Colorado. I mean, it's always

the last place you look.

Mitch, I've been thinking.

If you really hate your job,

why don't you get out of there?

- We'll be all right.

- No. I'm not gonna quit my job.

I'm just gonna do it better.

I'm gonna do everything better.

Everything?

See?

- Oh, I missed you.

- I missed you, too.

Let's go home.

Today... is my best day.

Mr Robbins?

Yeah, right here.

This is great.

- There you go.

- Thanks.

- What, did you get a dog?

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