City Slickers Page #7

and my sister from that day on.

That's my best day.

What was your worst day?

Same day.

He gets the sign from Berra...

He gets the sign from Berra.

The pitch.

Whoa!

Rollin', rollin', rollin"

Keep them dogies rollin"

Man, my ass is swollen

Rawhide!

Get 'em up, move 'em out,

wake 'em up, get 'em dressed

Get 'em shaved,

comb their hair, rawhide

Tie me down, tell me lies,

pull my hair, smack my thighs

With a big wet strap of rawhide

What is he doing?

Whoa, boy!

- He's drunk, the old shithead.

- Where'd he get the liquor?

- How do I know that?

- Goddamn, we better get him outta there.

Is that a happy face?

He's nuts.

- He's throwing our food.

- Well, we'll...

We'll what?

We'll order out?!

- He's headed for the ravine.

- I'm sure he sees it.

Jump!

What can you say about

Skyrocket and Buttercup?

- Let's just get out of here.

- Let's recap on what we've buried so far.

- Trail boss, two horses...

- I can't believe we buried horses.

The impact drove 'em into the ground.

We just covered 'em up with some dirt.

- How do we move the food and the tents?

- Tents roll up.

We can pack enough food in

our saddlebags to get us there.

OK.

Let's do it.

The problem is Cookie.

Let's not forget his legs are broken.

Oh, God, they're gonna shoot him.

We put Cookie on this litter

so we can get him out of here.

Me and TR are gonna stay

with you all and the herd.

We're gonna be hittin'

some pretty rough mountain country.

There's a town, it's about half a day's

ride outta here. I can draw a map.

Somebody's gotta take

Cookie. Volunteers?

- I guess Steve and I should go.

- Why?

He's injured and

we have medical training.

We're dentists!

Are we gonna give him a cleaning?

We have a better chance

of helping than anyone, son.

- But you're having fun.

- Ride with me.

It will still be fun.

Huh?

- That's really great of you, Ben, Steve.

- Thanks a lot.

- Thanks, Ben.

- Good luck.

- Thank you, Dr Jessup.

- We would have gone, but...

Good.

I'll make up that map.

Hey, look. I found where

Cookie was hiding his whisky.

- You old coot.

- Hey, Jeff.

- Shouldn't we do something?

- Let 'em have fun, then they'll sleep it off.

I knew we couldn't trust these guys.

I said "Tennis camp."

You said "Let's drive cattle."

Wait a minute.

I got an idea.

- Look at this.

- Norman.

- Norman.

- What are they doing with Norman?

Mitchy!

Mitchy, come on out and play.

- Don't go out there.

- What do you think, I'm nuts?

Mitch, do you like calf brains?

- This is over a cow.

- Here's your last chance.

- They won't hurt me. There's witnesses.

- Please be careful.

They're just gonna

embarrass me, so I'll let 'em.

Norman, have you been

bothering the cowboys again?

You raise them, you try

to teach them right from wrong...

...but they learn these things from

their friends. It's the school systems.

You're grounded, mister.

These cows today, huh?

You pansy-assed bastard.

- Are you talking to me or Norman?

- You sh*t-nosed little f*ggot.

Who, me?

Listen, guys. We have a group of people

here who came out for a good time...

...and to say the least,

it's been a little bit strange.

But we're counting on you

to get us through this.

So I'm asking you, please, why don't

you just go and sleep it off, huh?

Sleep this off.

Yee-ha!

Put the gun down!

Put down the goddamn gun!

- Phil.

- I'm not gonna let him bully us any more.

- My father-in-law's a bully

- Phil.

I hate bullies!

Cos a bully doesn't just beat you up.

- He takes away your dignity.

- Phil!

I hate that.

I really... hate that.

Sorry.

Bang!

All right, you two a**holes, go sleep it off.

And let's have some peace and quiet

around here for Christ's sakes!

I'm tired.

I've been under a lot of stress.

I lost my wife.

I lost my job.

And I've got some sort of rash...

from making in the bushes.

- Are you OK?

- Yeah.

Phil, thanks.

That was amazing.

- What?

- You know, uh...

Oh, that.

Yeah.

Why don't you put the gun down, Phil?

Oh, you don't have to worry.

I know how to handle a gun.

I used to keep one at the store.

You lock up late at night,

there's a lot of cash around.

You gotta make sure that

the register totals match the cash...

...and cheques and the coupons.

You got the order forms

to fill out for the next day.

You gotta check the stock.

I mean, there's a lot to do there.

It's a very responsible job.

Oh, Christ.

Oh, Phil.

Come on, Philly.

Come on, man.

It's not that bad.

I'm at a dead end. I'm almost

40 years old. I've wasted my life.

Yeah, but now you got

a chance to start over. You know?

Phil, remember when we were kids?

And we'd be playing ball and

the ball would get stuck up in a tree?

- And we'd yell "Do over!" Huh?

- Yeah.

Your life is a "do over".

You got a clean slate.

I got no place to live.

I'm gonna get wiped out in the divorce

cos I committed adultery.

So I may never even see my kids again.

I'm alone.

How's that slate look now?

Well, the fun continues.

- They're gone.

- Who?

Jeff and TR.

They skedaddled.

They jumped on their horses and took off.

They probably thought

we'd get 'em in trouble.

Does anybody know

how to get where we're going?

- So we're talking death?

- Won't Ben and Steve send some help?

Maybe they won't. When they left,

we were still pretty much OK.

- Still, they might.

- "Might"?

We're hanging our lives on "might"?

Let's not get hysterical, OK?

Calm down.

Now, for four days,

we've been going in this direction.

- I think we keep going in that direction.

- Isn't that a little vague?

Curly said there was a river and a valley.

We'll just have to do the best we can.

So you're saying we can drive this herd?

Herd?

Are you delirious?

We leave the herd.

We'll go ten times as fast without them.

But there's no pasture land up here.

There's no water.

I don't think they can survive up here.

Not to sound cold-hearted,

but so-the-hell-what?

They give us a trail boss with

a coronary and a bunch of drunks...

...and we're supposed

to worry about the cattle?

- You're a nicer person than I am.

- No, you're right.

The rest of you go ahead.

I'll drive the herd.

- What are you talking about?

- I think I can bring in the herd.

No, you can't.

What are you, crazy?

You couldn't even manage your stores.

You had to bring in your cousin.

Mitch, you were right about

all the weekend warrior sh*t.

The war games, the parachuting.

That was all bullshit.

But this is really happening.

No rules, no games.

Just "Can I do it?"

It is a game. It's your regular

game, Ed. Don't you see it?

"Am I better than my father"?

Well, you are, OK?

- Look, I need to do this.

- It's impossible.

I'll do it with you.

Phil. Phil, you have, like,

a day's worth of food and water left.

- We'll be all right.

- Maybe you won't.

Why don't you accept that you

don't know what we're going through?

I know exactly what you're going through.

You think bringing in this herd is gonna

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote