Class Rank Page #5

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Would you like to buy a candy gram?

Unfortunately, I don't have

two dollars to spare today.

Well, this one is on me.

Feel free to give it

to whoever you want.

This Friday night the drama

club is putting on a musical

adaptation of...

Stanley Kubrick's

seminal film 'Full Metal Jacket'.

Tickets are five dollars at the door

and I hope to see you guys all there.

Thanks.

Thank you, Jared.

Emily you're up next.

Mr. Ruble cellphones away Please

you know better than that.

Hey, I heard you're having

a party after the play.

It's sort of just for

the cast of the show

but I guess anyone can come.

Great.

Can I come?

Sure.

You look cute.

Bye mom.

Have fun.

- Hello.

- Hi.

Organizing a Town Hall

meeting was a great idea.

Thank you.

You can take your helmet off now.

Welcome to 'Nam'.

Thanks. I brought pretzels.

Whoa! What's up?

So you guys want some Merlot?

But alas, I shall pass

as I rode my bike here

as a politician,

cannot risk getting a 'BUl'.

Right. You want some, Veronica?

Oh no I can't.

I made all student council

members sign a sobriety pact.

- So.

- Alright, well you 2 have fun?

- We will thanks

- Whoa!

This isn't a town hall meeting, is it?

Technically it's a party.

So that's why you're

looking so stylish?

Well yeah, I just thought it could be

a good chance to get

your face out there.

I understand.

So, who should I put my

face in front of first?

So my plan would be to close the

auxiliary gym and convert it

into a meditation

garden slash greenhouse.

Whoah, that sounds awesome.

I believe it could be

a great escape between

class periods. A place for

students to perform Tai Chi

and have a safe haven

for inner reflection.

And we could grow some stuff in there.

Exactly, yes.

I'm totally gonna tell my

old man to vote for you.

Thanks bro.

Good luck, bro.

Are you in high school?

I used to be.

It just uncured to me that

is our first Friday night

out together.

It's almost like a date.

Yes.

Yes, I guess it almost is.

Is it getting a little

hot in hereto you?

The warmth is probably

due to the blatant

fire law violation

in this clearly over capacity room.

Maybe we should get some fresh air.

Actually, if you'll excuse me,

I need to use the facilities.

Dorie... Dorie.

It's Veronica

- Veronica.

- Yeah.

Did you bring Bernie here?

Ah... yeah.

Is he like your boyfriend?

Not like officially or anything.

Is it true that he was test tube baby?

I heard he was a narc.

As if he was arrested in like

6th grade for hacking in to

the F.B.I.'s website or something

You guys are student council reps.

You're not supposed to be drinking.

Chill out, Veronica.

We're just having some fun.

Maybe you're the narc.

Did you check out her chopsticks?

What the hell is going here?

Busted.

Where's my son?

I'm here mom.

What in God's name are you wearing?

It's from a play that I was in.

Jesus Christ.

I thought we talked about

his whole theater thing.

Sorry.

Excuse me, are you the homeowners?

Perfect.

May I suggest you place a small

plastic bag weighted with pebbles

into your toilet tank.

Displacing water in this manner

allows you to save 5

to 10 gallons a day.

It's good for the environment

and fiscally responsible.

Who the hell are you?

My name's Bernard Flannigan.

I'm running for the

Board of Education.

There's no need to worry I sanitized.

Bye Veronica. Bye Bernie.

I believe that went moderately well.

Is it true you once hacked

into the FBI's website?

Of course not.

It was the EPA.

Alright break it up kids.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Mom, what's the best way

for me to make a friend

into more than a friend?

Well, do you remember when

Haden got together with Benson?

Yes.

Of course.

Of course, Haden thought Benson

was beautiful and charming,

but he also found

her to be mysterious.

She hadn't had a serious

love interest for 13 seasons.

Don't ask me why.

Anyway, Haden knew that it

would take a lot of work to

get Benson to see him

in a romantic light

He's willing to put in that effort

even if it meant

stretching the boundaries

of their working relationship.

Like when he met her at her favorite

donut shop and wooed her

on her own home turf.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

What are you doing?

Cutting your grass.

I can see that! But why?

Because it'll help you fit

into the community better.

It's another part of your

political self-transformation,

You know, like changing your name

or restyling your hair.

I appreciate the thought but

annihilating an ecosystem

for political appearances

is not my modus operandi.

Relax,

look at the yard.

Needs a little TLC.

That's what she's doing.

TLC?

Yeah.

Bernard think of it

as a controlled burn.

You know what controlled burn is?

- Yes.

- Okay.

It's when you put fire to the forest

I know what a controlled burn is.

So the vegetation, well that's good.

Yes okay so.

Oh by the way.

I found this in your grass.

Thank you.

Of course.

Thank you ma'am.

Oh boy.

That's enough of that.

Why is it that we're always meeting

at this franchise I so disdain?

Cause you need to show

the community that

you're one of them,

Very well.

Let's proceed.

So, what is our first order

of business for today?

Who do you think is the

prettiest girl in our class?

I don't see how that

relates to the campaign.

The meeting hasn't started yet.

So who's the prettiest?

Beauty...

in itself is such an abstract concept.

Well, you clearly like Asians, right?

One could say I am a connoisseur

of more ethnic women. Yes.

However, my palette isn't

always preferential

to the Asian continent.

Well what about me?

Do you think I'm pretty?

Yes, Veronica.

I think you have a beautiful mind and

a beautiful body.

So can we get back to the campaign now

Yes of course.

Item one. Winning the support

of 'The Livingston Weekly'.

The paper will be

endorsing two candidates.

It is imperative they back you.

I believe I may have

inadvertently started

towards that goal, already.

Good. Now take it up a notch.

Grandpa, what is on your

schedule this fine Saturday?

Saturday?

Breakfast,

lunch, maybe a nap,

shuffleboard and dinner.

Could you squeeze a

voyage to the cinema

somewhere into your hectic itinerary?

Can you promise me it won't be 3-D?

I hope you don't think that low of me.

I go to the cinema for the stories.

If I wanted to feel as if a

bird or a ball were flying at

my face I'd simply go to the park.

Save myself 16 dollars.

I'm in.

Wonderful.

Would you mind if invited a friend?

Oh boy.

If you excuse me, I have a

sudden craving for 'Smarties'.

Have you ever been to Paris?

My wife and I always talked about it.

We never found the time.

My husband took me for our

twenty-fifth anniversary.

Is it really the most

romantic city in the world?

Well, I haven't been

everywhere so I couldn't say.

If you could do the writing?

Where do you see yourself going next?

I've heard that Lithuania

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