Clerks. Page #2

Try thinking for yourselves before you

pelt an innocent man with cigarettes !

[ Coughing, Clears Throat ]

Uh, pack of cigarettes ?

Don't you think you're taking

this a bit too hard ?

I have enough indignities in my life and

people start throwing cigarettes at me.

- At least they weren't lit.

- Oh, l hate this f***ing place.

Then quit.

You should be going to school anyway.

Please, Veronica, at this point,

the last thing l need is a lecture.

All I'm saying is, if you're

that unhappy, you should leave.

-I'm not even supposed to be here today!

-l know.

I stopped by your house. Your mom told

me you left, like, at 6:00 or something.

The guy got sick.

He couldn't come in.

- Don't you have a hockey game at 2:00 ?

- Yes.

And I'm gonna play like sh*t because

I didn't have a good night's sleep.

- Why'd you agree to come in then ?

- Hey, I'm only here until 12:00.

After that, I'm gone.

The boss comes in.

- Why don't you open the shutters?

Get some sunlight in here.

- Someone jammed gum in the locks.

- You're kidding.

- Bunch of savages in this town.

- Thanks.

- How much money did you leave up there?

Like, three dollars in mixed change

and a couple of singles.

This time in the morning,

people just get a paper or coffee.

- You're trusting.

- Why do you say that ?

How do you know they're taking

the right amount of change

or even paying for what they take ?

Theoretically, people see money

on the counter, no one around,

they think they're being watched.

Honesty through paranoia.

Why do you smell like shoe polish ?

I needed shoe polish

to make that sign out there.

- Smell won't come off.

- [ Door Opens ]

You think anybody

can see us down here ?

Why, you wanna have sex or something ?

- Can we ?

- Really ?

- l was kidding.

- Like you can't get enough of me.

- Typically male point of view.

- How do you figure ?

Show some bedroom proficiency,

you think you're gods.

What about what we do for you ?

Women as lovers are basically the same;

they just have to be there.

- Be there ?

- Making a male climax

isn't at all challenging.

Insert somewhere close,

preferably moist, thrust, repeat.

How flattering.

Now, making a woman come,

therein lies a challenge.

You think so ?

A woman makes a guy come,

it's standard.

A guy makes a woman come,

it's talent.

- And l actually date you ?

- Something wrong ?

I'm insulted. Believe me, Don Juan, it

takes more than that to get a guy off.

Just being there, as you put it,

is not enough.

Hmm, I've touched a nerve.

I'm astonished to hear you

you trivialize my role in our sex life.

It wasn't directed at you.

I was making a broad generalization.

You're making a generalization

about broads.

Those are my opinions

based on the few women...

who were goodly enough

to sleep with me.

- How many ?

- How many what ?

How many different girls

have you slept with ?

- Didn't we have

this discussion once before ?

- We might have.

- l don't remember. How many ?

- including you ?

It better be up to and including me.

- Twelve.

- You slept with 12 different girls ?

Including you ? Yes.

- Ow ! What'd you do that for ?

- You're a pig !

- Why'd you hit me ?

- Do you know how many different men

I've had sex with ?

Do l get to hit you after you tell me ?

- Three.

- Three ?

- Three, including you.

- You only slept

with three different people ?

- I'm not the pig you are.

- Who ?

- You !

- No, who are the three, besides me.

- John Francin and Rob Stanslik.

- Wow.

That's why you should feel like a pig.

You men make me feel sick.

- You'll sleep with anything

that says yes.

- Animal, mineral or vegetable.

Vegetable, meaning paraplegic.

They put up

the least amount of struggle.

After dropping a bombshell like that,

you owe me big.

Name it.

I want you to come with me on Monday.

- Where ?

- To school.

There's a seminar about getting

back into a scholastic program...

after a lapse in enrollment.

Can't we ever have a discussion

without that coming up ?

It's important to me, Dante.

You have so much potential

that's going to waste in this pit.

- l wish you'd go back to school.

- Stop. You're making my head hurt.

-Sh*t ! Why're you getting up ?

-Unlike you, l have class in 45 minutes.

Willam ?

Hey, Ronni.

How you been, man ?

What, do you work here now ?

No, l was visiting my man.

Dante, this is Willam Black.

This is Dante Hicks, my boyfriend.

- How you doing ? Just the soda ?

- No, and a pack of cigarettes.

So where you been, man ?

Still going to Seton Hall ?

No, l transferred into Monmouth

this year. l was tired of missing him.

That's beautiful, man.

So, you still talk to Silvan ?

I just talked to her on Monday.

We still hang out on weekends.

Oh, that's great.

Well, you two lovebirds

take it easy, okay ?

Bye. Take it easy.

- [ Ronni ] That was Snowball.

- Why do you call him that ?

Silvan made it up.

It's a blow job thing.

What do you mean ?

After the blow job, he likes to have it

spit back into his mouth while kissing.

It's called snowballing.

- He requests this ?

- He gets off on it.

- Silvan can be talked into anything.

- Why do you say that ?

Like you said, she snowballed him.

- Silvan ? No, l snowballed him.

- Yeah, right.

I'm serious.

- You sucked that guy's dick ?

- Yeah. How do you think l knew--

You said you only had sex

with three different guys !

You never mentioned him !

- Because l never had sex with him.

- You sucked his dick !

We went out a few times.

We never had sex, but we fooled around.

Oh, my God. Why did you tell me

you only had sex with three guys ?

Because l did

only have sex with three guys.

- it doesn't mean

I didn't just go with people.

- Oh, my God, l feel so nauseous !

I'm sorry, Dante.

I thought you understood.

I did understand !

I understood that you had sex with

three guys and that's all you said !

- Please calm down.

- How many ?

- Dante, let it go !

- How many d*cks have you sucked ?

Shut up a second and I'll tell you.

Jesus !

I didn't freak out like this when

you told me how many girls you f***ed !

This is different. This is important.

How many ?

Well ?

- Something like 36.

- What ? Something like 36 ?

- Lower your voice.

- What is that-- ""Something like 36"" ?

Does that include me ?

- Uh... 37.

- I'm 37 ?

- I'm going to class.

- Oh, my God.

- 37 ! My girlfriend sucked 37 d*cks!

- in a row ?

- Where you going ?

- Hey, listen, jerk.

Until today, you never even knew...

how many guys l slept with

because you never even bothered to ask.

Then you act all nonchalant

about f***ing 12 girls.

I never had sex with 12 guys !

- No, but you sucked enough dick !

- Yeah, l went down on a few guys.

- A few ?

- One of those guys was you.

The last one, l might add.

Which, if you're too stupid

to comprehend, means that

I've been faithful to you since we met.

All the other guys

I went with before l met you.

If you want to have a complex, go ahead.

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