Clerks Page #25

RANDAL:

Balls resting on his lips.

DANTE:

He made it, hunhh?

RANDAL:

Yeah, but at what a price.

Silence. Then...

DANTE:

I could never reach.

RANDAL:

Reach what?

DANTE:

You know.

RANDAL:

What, your dick?

DANTE:

Yeah. Like you said, you know. I

guess everyone tries it, sooner of

later.

RANDAL:

I never tried it.

DANTE glares at RANDAL. Silence. Then...

RANDAL:

F***ing pervert.

CUT TO:

EXT:
FUNERAL PARLOR. DAY

DANTE and RANDAL walk up the path to the funeral parlor.

DANTE:

I know it was a bad idea to close

the store.

RANDAL:

Listen to you.

DANTE:

I can't help it. At least when we

were playing hockey outside, I could

see if anyone wanted to go in.

RANDAL:

Nobody's there. It's four o'clock on

a Saturday. How many people ever

come to the store at four on a

Saturday?

CUT TO:

EXT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. DAY

A MASSIVE CROWD is outside the store.

CUT TO:

EXT:
FUNERAL PARLOR. DAY

DANTE and RANDAL run from the front door, closely chased by

a small crowd of angry mourners. Car locks are slammed down.

The car screams away. The pursuing crowd stands in the middle

of the street, shaking their fists, throwing things.

CUT TO:

EXT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. NIGHT

The car pulls up and RANDAL and DANTE get out. Absolutely

nobody is outside.

DANTE:

(furious)

I can't f***ing believe you!!

RANDAL:

I'm telling you, it wasn't my fault!

DANTE:

You knocked the f***ing casket over,

for Chrissakes!

RANDAL:

I was just leaning on it! It was an

accident!

DANTE:

Does anyone ever knock over a casket

on purpose?

RANDAL:

So the casket fell over! Big deal!

DANTE:

Her f***ing body fell out!

RANDAL:

So they'll put her back in! It's not

like it's gonna matter if she breaks

something!

DANTE:

(opening door)

Just... go! Go open the video store.

JAY (O.S.)

(mimicking)

Yeah! Open the video store!!

RANDAL:

(to O.C.)

Shut the f*** up, junkie!

JAY enters the frame, right next to RANDAL. He aims his butt

at him and farts. RANDAL lunges for him. DANTE grabs RANDAL.

DANTE:

(to RANDAL)

Go open the video store.

JAY:

Yeah, you cock-smoking clerk.

DANTE:

(to JAY)

How many times I gotta tell you not

to deal outside the store.

JAY:

I'm not dealing.

A KID tugs at JAY'S shirt.

KID:

You got anything, man?

JAY:

Yeah, what do you want?

RANDAL heads to the video store. DANTE enters the convenience

store and slides the sign to OPEN. After a few seconds, the

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER (guy who lost his keys) appears, flashlight

in hand, scanning the ground.

IMPATIENT CUSTOMER

(to JAY)

Hey, did you see a set of keys lying

around here somewhere?

CUT TO:

INT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. NIGHT

DANTE rearranges the milk. RANDAL joins him.

RANDAL:

Let me borrow your car.

DANTE:

I don't want to talk to you.

RANDAL:

Fine. Just lend me your car.

DANTE:

Why should I loan you my car?

RANDAL:

I want to rent a movie.

DANTE:

(pause)

You want to rent a movie.

DANTE walks away, shaking his head.

RANDAL:

What's that for?

DANTE:

You work in a video store!

They head back to the counter.

RANDAL:

I work in a shitty video store. I

want to go to a good video store so

I can rent a good movie.

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