Clerks Page #38

DANTE crosses O.C. RANDAL appears contemplative.

CUT TO:

INT:
CONVENIENCE STORE. NIGHT

DANTE repairs ripped dollar bills, taping them back together.

JAY enters with SILENT BOB and claps his hands.

JAY:

(singing)

Noinch, noinch, noinch-smoking weed,

smoking weed! Doing coke! Drinking

beers!

(to DANTE)

A pack of wraps, my good man. It's

time to kick back, drink some beers,

and smoke some weed!

DANTE:

Done poisoning the youth for the

day?

JAY:

Hell yes, whatever that means. Now

I'm gonna head over to Atlantic,

drink some beers, get ripped, and-

please God-get laid.

(pulls out money)

E-Z Wider, one-and-a-halfs.

DANTE:

One seventy-nine.

JAY:

(to SILENT BOB)

Pay the good man.

(to DANTE)

Don't you close soon?

DANTE:

A half hour.

JAY:

We get off about the same time every

night. We should hang out. You get

high?

DANTE:

I should start.

JAY:

Wanna come to this party tonight?

There's gonna be some p*ssy there,

man!

DANTE:

With you? I don't think so.

JAY:

Listen to you. Oh sh*t. "Oh, I don't

hang out with drug dealers."

DANTE:

Nothing personal.

SILENT BOB hands weed to JAY.

JAY:

I work, just like you. You're more

of a crook than I am, dude.

DANTE:

How do you figure... HEY! You can't

roll a joint in here!

JAY:

(rolling a joint)

Relax brother. What I mean is that

you sell the stuff in this store at

the highest prices around. A dollar

seventy-nine for wraps-what's that

sh*t?

DANTE:

It's not my store.

JAY:

And these aren't my drugs-I just

sell them.

DANTE:

The difference is you exploit a

weakness.

JAY:

What's that mean?

DANTE:

You sell to people that can't stay

away from an addiction.

JAY:

All right. How much is Pepsi here?

DANTE:

A dollar sixty-nine, plus tax.

JAY:

At Food City it's ninety-nine cents,

plus tax.

DANTE:

So.

JAY:

So why do you sell it for so much

more? I'll tell you why-because people

come here and they're like "A dollar

eighty for soda? I should get it at

Food City. But I don't feel like

driving there. I'll just buy it here

so I don't have to drive up there."

That's exploiting a weakness, too,

isn't it?

DANTE:

I can't believe you just rolled a

joint in here.

JAY:

Hey, man, what happened with that

old guy?

DANTE:

He died in the bathroom.

JAY:

That's f***ed up. Yo, I heard he was

jerkin' off.

DANTE:

I don't know. I wasn't watching.

JAY:

Probably saw that Caitlin chick. I

know I felt like beatin' it when I

saw her.

(pantomimes sex)

Come here, b*tch! You like this? Is

this what you want? Hunhh?

DANTE:

Knock it off. That used to be my

girlfriend.

JAY:

You used to go out with her?

DANTE:

We were going to start again, I think.

JAY:

Don't you already have a girlfriend?

DANTE:

Veronica.

JAY:

Is she that girl who's down here all

the time? She came here today carrying

a plate of food.

DANTE:

Lasagne.

JAY:

And what-you were gonna dump her to

date that Caitlin chick?

DANTE:

Maybe.

JAY:

I don't know dude. That Caitlin

chick's nice. But I see that Veronica

girl doing sh*t for you all the time.

She brings you food, she rubs your

back... Didn't I see her change your

tire one day?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes