Cluny Brown Page #10

- Indeed we are.

But I want you to know

that I'm fighting under a handicap.

The fact that I have to hit a man

who lent me 243s

may slow me up badly.

- Are you ready?

- Yes, I'm ready.

But I want to be fair.

Now, I'm not trying to scare you,

but I think you ought to know

that I was once the lightweight champion

of all Czechoslovakia.

And I think you should know

I was middleweight champion of all Oxford

and Cambridge.

Middleweight, eh?

- Pretty warm, isn't it?

- Rather.

Andrew?

- What's the matter?

- Nothing.

What are you hiding?

I'm sorry, Betty, but this is something

that doesn't concern you.

Why, Andrew Carmel,

are we starting out with a secret?

Is this the kind of marriage

we're going to have?

Oh, darling, trust me. Please trust me.

Darling, if I trust you now,

I'll always have to trust you and I won't.

Now what have you got behind your back?

I suppose you think it's rather foolish of me

to lend the professor 50.

Foolish? Give him 100, 200, 300!

Oh, now, wait a minute.

I'm very fond of the professor, but after all,

- walking into your room like that.

- Well, thank heaven he did.

If I hadrt screamed last night

we wouldn't be engaged today.

You've always behaved so well

I might have died an old maid.

You're so right, Betty. We all behave too well.

We never do the wrong thing at the right time.

I've said it before and I'll say it again,

what England needs is more Belinskis.

I think one is quite enough.

Come along, darling.

Brown feels worse.

She said it's gone into her stomach now.

She says if it was only a pain like you get

after eating a whole plum pudding,

she wouldn't mind.

But she says it's more like

swallowing a Monday morning!

- She...

- That's enough, Weller.

- Go upstairs and do the beds.

- Yes.

Really, Brown never should have had

last night off.

She should have been dismissed long ago.

Her handling of the china has been sinister.

I will say, though,

she's clean and willing enough.

I don't mean to be harsh, Mrs Maile.

I don't say she clipped the cupid's wing

on the punch bowl deliberately,

but it's clipped, Mrs Maile.

And what about the master's hunting trophies?

I shall never forget the day she dusted

the left eye out of Sir Henry's moose.

No, Mrs Maile,

she was not born with

the instincts and talents of a second maid.

You're so right, Mr Syrette, so right.

One is born to things or one isn't.

I remember when I was a little girl,

I used to say to my dolly,

"Did you ring, Your Ladyship?

Shall I bring you tea, milady?"

Mrs Maile, 15 years ago,

when I saw you for the first time,

you were removing the crumbs

from Lady Carmel's bed

with such earnestness. Crumb by crumb.

I knew instantly you had the spark.

- Thank you, Mr Syrette.

- Not at all, Mrs Maile.

Good morning.

- Good morning, sir.

- Good morning, sir.

Please forgive the intrusion.

I have been to the village,

done some shopping.

- I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving.

- Indeed, sir?

I will miss you, Syrette.

And so will my one suit very much indeed.

You know, you brought glamour

into its sordid life.

You creased and increased its self-respect.

You gave it hope.

- Thank you, Mr Syrette.

- Thank you, sir.

- Shall I pack your things?

- Oh, that would be very kind.

- This is for you, Mrs Maile. Thank you.

- Thank you, sir.

Where's Cluny?

I have a little something for her.

- Browrs indisposed.

- Oh?

- Nothing serious, I hope.

- Oh, no.

I'm afraid the birthday party

was a bit too much for her.

- Oh, I see.

- Don't you think she's a fortunate girl, sir?

It isn't often a person in her place

attracts a man like Mr Wilson.

Yes, indeed. A man like Mr Wilson.

- Shall I call her? I'm sure it's all right.

- Oh, no, no. Please.

Don't, no. No, it's... It's better like this.

Will you be kind enough

to give her this for me?

And tell her please that

I'm so happy her ship has come in.

And that I wish her bon voyage

with all my heart.

- Bon voyage. I'll tell her, sir.

- But, should she ever feel unappy,

tell her just to close her eyes and say,

"Squirrels to the nuts".

You will remember that, Mrs Maile, won't you?

If she's ever unappy,

she's to close her eyes and say,

- "Nuts to the squirrels".

- No, no, no, no.

- "Squirrels to the nuts."

- "Squirrels to the nuts."

- Very good, sir.

- Goodbye, Mrs Maile.

Goodbye, sir.

- Goodbye, Lady Carmel.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye, Professor.

- Goodbye, Andrew.

- Goodbye, Professor.

- Goodbye, sir.

- Goodbye.

Now look here, Adam,

we're going to write each other, aren't we?

Certainly.

None of your puny

"Hello and how are you?" letters,

but something solid, not under five pages.

Something you can get your teeth into.

- Definitely, Sir Henry.

- Oh, Adam, what's your address?

Oh, just, uh...

"Belinski, London".

You might add, uh, "General delivery".

They know me there.

I'll remember that.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Good chap, that.

Great man.

General delivery.

So appreciative of everything.

How he loved the nightingale

under his window.

Mr Belinski! Mr Belinski!

- Where's Mr Belinski?

- He's just gone.

Oh, I didn't have a chance

to say goodbye to him.

Just look what he gave me.

Black stockings, silk stockings!

The feet are silk and so is the top.

Mr Belinski! Mr Belinski!

(DOORBELL CHIMES)

(BICYCLE BELL CHIMES)

Mr Belinski!

Mr Belinski!

- Cluny!

- Oh, Mr Belinski.

I want to thank you. They're beautiful.

Why didn't you say goodbye to me?

You know we...

We might never see each other again.

Yes, I know, Cluny.

It's... It's kind of awful to think of.

Yes. It is awful, but...

- How is Mr Wilson?

- Oh, he's better.

- Was he sick?

- No, he was upset about his mother.

- What's the matter with her?

- She was upset about me.

Mr Belinski, I disgraced myself last night.

Everybody thought so.

Mr Snaffle, Mrs Snaffle

and especially Mr Latham.

What did you do, Cluny?

Well, you know what plumbing does to me.

Just can't keep my hands off it.

And I didn't last night.

Oh, I don't blame Mr Wilson.

You know, Mr Belinski,

men just don't marry plumbers.

Mr Wilson had a long talk with me afterwards.

He told me what he thought of me.

Some of it was in Latin.

He said, with his standing in the community,

he cannot afford a wife

who is subject to impulses,

either to pipes or to himself.

That was when he banged on the table.

Now, you'll believe everything

is over between us, wouldn't you?

Well, it isn't.

Mr Wilson is a very generous man.

He's going to ask his mother

to give me another chance.

That's very kind, isn't it?

No one could expect more.

So, if everything turns out all right,

I might still be Mrs Jonathan Wilson.

That is, if I don't behave foolishly again.

And I won't.

I'm certainly going to watch myself.

One can't be foolish

and have a place in life, can one?

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

Get in.

Get in.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)

- Where are we going, Mr Belinski?

- General delivery.

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