Cluny Brown Page #9

- None.

- Really?

That creamy complexion, those blue eyes,

those rounded shoulders, those...

Well, I assure you,

all this means very little to me.

- How little?

- Not much.

Then why is your hair so carefully combed?

And why do you smell

like a perfume salesman?

- Huh?

- Well?

(SNIFFS)

- It is me, isn't it?

- I'm afraid it is.

I must have smeared a lot of stuff on my hair.

I usually don't do that.

Now why did I do it now?

I wonder why.

You know, that would be

an interesting problem for a psychoanalyst.

I could have sworn that I came here for

no other reason than to speak for a friend.

Now, it is possible

that when I reached for the brilliantine,

way down deep in my subconscious

I was reaching for something else?

Betty, I'm beginning to doubt my motives.

I wish you'd get out,

and I don't mean subconsciously.

Well, goodnight.

Betty, why are you so nasty to Andrew?

- I'll scream.

- Why should you, Betty?

Wake up the whole house?

Distress everybody?

Can't you ever think of anybody but yourself?

Doesrt it occur to you

that you could make someone else happy?

(SCREAMING)

- What's happened?

- Shh.

Syrette, Maile, you needrt wait. Goodnight.

- Goodnight, milady.

- Goodnight, milady.

- I want to know what happened.

- Well, I'm sorry.

I was looking for the bathroom

and I mistook the door.

Then what are you doing with those books?

Yes. What am I doing with these books?

You know, that would be an interesting case

for a psychoanalyst.

- I could have sworn...

- I'm so sorry, Lady Carmel.

I heard my door open and thought

it was a burglar, and so I screamed.

Yes. That can easily happen

in strange houses, getting the doors mixed.

Dear me, what an exciting evening.

- Goodnight again, Professor.

- Goodnight, Lady Carmel.

My profoundest regrets. Goodnight, Andrew.

Andrew, I want you to promise me

to go right to bed.

Please.

Very well, mother. Goodnight.

- May I come in, my dear?

- Of course, Lady Carmel.

- Get back into bed, Elizabeth.

- Yes, Lady Carmel.

You know, my dear, you ought to get married.

- Do you think so, Lady Carmel?

- Quite definitely, my dear.

Yes, Lady Carmel.

- You're going to marry Andrew?

- Yes, Lady Carmel.

Then I think you should tell him so

because he's getting quite nervous.

- I'll tell him tomorrow.

- Thank you, Elizabeth.

Now go to sleep

and tomorrow we'll have a long talk,

especially about the gardens,

because they're all planned

three years ahead.

Yes, Lady Carmel.

- Goodnight, dear.

- Goodnight.

Oh, there you are.

I want a word with you, Belinski.

Sit down. Have some breakfast.

- I don't feel like breakfast today.

- Sit down anyhow.

I want to talk to you, man-to-man.

- Have you seen Andrew this morning?

- No.

- You're in for a surprise. He'll bowl you over.

- Really?

Belinski, he's not a boy any more!

Two-fisted man overnight!

Scared the wind out of me.

- You're the kindest people in the world.

- Did you know who did it?

That fellow you're running away from.

- What fellow?

- That fellow, what's-his-name, Hitler.

Good heavens!

What else happened last night?

- Was war declared?

- No, no.

But Andrew thinks it will be.

That's why he barged into my room

this morning and said,

"I'm joining the RAF and don't make a fuss,

I've made up my mind".

- Never talked to me like that before.

- Oh, the RAF.

Well, I think I'll have some breakfast.

I say, this talk about war

is all poppycock, isn't it?

No, Sir Henry. I know Hitler.

- Oh, yes, he's written a book, hasn't he?

- Yes.

- Big success, isn't it?

- Very big.

Then what more does he want?

Why doesn't he lie down and keep quiet?

Well, if you really want to know,

Sir Henry, read the book.

Sort of an outdoor book, isn't it?

What's it called? Oh, yes,

- My Camp.

- Yes.

It's a kind of an outdoor book.

The old German idea of sport.

Not your kind of sport.

- Sir Henry, there will be war, it's inevitable.

- Well, then I'm glad Andrew's joining up.

We Carmels have never shirked our duty.

No Englishman has or ever will.

We'll see this thing through.

We'll show that blighter.

It's good to see you angry, Sir Henry.

Stay angry and everything will be all right.

Henry, have you ever seen such roses?

Good morning, Professor.

Good morning, Lady Carmel.

Good morning, Miss Cream.

- Good morning, Professor Belinski.

- Good morning, Andrew.

- Morning.

- Oh, Professor.

You've heard the good news

about Betty and Andrew, haven't you?

You may congratulate us, if you like.

We're going to be married.

Imagine all this going on last night, Adam,

and we slept through it like a couple of babes.

(LAUGHS)

I wish you all happiness.

- You're both very lucky.

- Thank you, Professor.

Well, I'm glad this happened

while I'm still here.

Lady Carmel, I was going to look for you.

I'm leaving.

- What? Who's leaving?

- I am, Sir Henry.

I know it's sort of sudden,

but I must get back to London.

It's most urgent.

But you're coming back right away,

aren't you, Adam?

- Well, I wish I could, Sir Henry...

- But you are coming back?

Now Henry,

we must leave that to the professor.

- We're very sorry to see you go.

- So am I, Lady Carmel.

But hang it all, it took me quite some time

to learn to say Belinski.

And now that I can say it...

No, Adam, this is beastly selfish of you.

- Oh, Professor, I want a word with you.

- Please, Andrew.

- Andrew.

- No, no, you're right, Andrew.

Give him a good dressing-down.

Tell him what's what.

I intend to, Father. Professor?

You werert looking

for the bathroom door last night, Professor.

You don't believe it, eh?

I didn't believe it last night

and I don't believe it now.

I don't believe it either.

But Andrew, if I should tell you

that I went into Miss Cream's room last night...

- In a dressing gown!

- Your dressing gown.

- That doesn't matter.

- All right.

- Forget the dressing gown.

- I won't.

Dressing gown or no dressing gown,

if I should tell you

that I went into Miss Cream's room last night

to talk about you, would you believe that?

- Would you?

- No. But I did!

- Professor...

- Yes, my friend.

Professor, I have great respect for you

as a writer,

- as a philosopher, as a man of principle.

- Thank you.

- But I'm going to knock you down. Sorry.

- So am I. Well...

- Let's get it over with.

- The sooner the better.

Just a moment.

Shouldrt we remove this vase?

Oh, yes, yes. It's Mother's favourite.

- That's very thoughtful of you, Professor.

- Not at all.

- You ready?

- Yes, my friend.

- All right.

- Uh, wait a minute.

- How much do I owe you?

- I don't know. It doesn't matter.

But it does matter!

If anything should happen to you,

I want to be sure of how much I owe you.

Uh, let's see.

You lent me 20 in London.

- Oh, forget it.

- What kind of a man do you think I am?

Forget 20?

And the 4 you lent me yesterday?

And the 3s I found in your dinner jacket?

- Are we gonna have this out or aren't we?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes