Cocktail Page #6

Look how clean you keep your bar.

Why, man, you actually

take pride in your work.

I do not.

Is he or isn't he

a great bartender?

- Oh, the best.

- See, they love you.

Listen, Bozo, If you think

I'm stuck in this gig...

Face it,

you're a career proletarian.

You've been standing in a puddle

so long, you've got webbed feet.

Just because he get's lucky

with a rich chick...

Lucky, he says.

Why, you couldn't do it.

I've known this man for three years,

and believe me, he's not a closer.

This place is crawling

with moneyed females.

Case in point:
rich and ripe

and out of your league.

- Out of my league?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, she just happened to be here

checking me out the other night.

Maybe she had

15 minutes to kill.

You know what it'd take to make a score

on a smart woman like that?

You'd have to get over on her,

her managers, her lawyers...

her trustees, her maid,

and her tennis coach.

I've been training for this

my whole life.

Well, 50 bucks...

says you don't even

make it over the bar.

Gentlemen, that's a bet.

You guys are in on this.

Be cool.

Mademoiselle.

Vodka on the rocks

with a squeeze of lime.

Oh, no, no.

This is the tropics.

At least try a Jus D'Amour.

Pardon me.

A Jus D'Amour.

It means "juice of love."

It's made with fresh fruit

right off the vine.

And trust me when I tell you

that it is nothing short...

of spectacular.

Excuse me. Do I have "f*** me"

written on my forehead?

I can't see a thing

without my contacts.

You're just full of confidence,

aren't you?

Yeah. Kinda makes you

curious, don't it?

Mighty Casey

has struck out.

Now, don't.

The game's not over yet.

Wouldn't be any fun if they fell over

with their legs in the air,

now, would it?

Bartender.

Excuse me.

Oh, you are bad.

Run for the shelter of your love

Run for the shelter of your love

Run for the shelter of your love

Run for the shelter of your love

Run for the shelter of your love

Run for the shelter of your love

Run for the shelter of your love

Hey, Dulcy.

Where's, uh, Jordan?

She left on a flight back to New York

late last night.

What'd you do to her

anyway?

Brian, are you there?

It's Bonnie.

Brian?

Come in.

Hi.

You found my

secret hiding place.

The guys at the bar told me.

I've been thinking

about you all day.

Yeah?

A plane ride home

will cure that.

What I got,

there ain't no cure for.

You can't send me

away like this.

I don't know what'll

happen to me if you do.

My business will go to hell.

I'll start writing

bad cheques.

We can't have that now,

can we?

No.

You don't really want me

to go away, do you?

These drinks are going

to be very tasty.

- Into the market now, are we?

- Mm-hmm.

What's my greatest talent?

Reading between the lines.

And that's what

the market's all about.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

I must admit...

I never thought I'd see you

set up like this.

Well, don't you worry.

I won't forget my close friends.

Kerry's old man has just backed me

in the most luxurious joint

Manhattan's ever seen.

We open in a couple of weeks.

You come back to New York with us,

and I'll make you head bartender.

Well, that sounds very nice,

but I've got plans of my own.

Like what?

Bonnie's hooking me up

with her business.

I'll be heading back

to New York with her.

Kept man, eh?

You think you made a breakthrough

cutting that little blond loose.

Meanwhile, your conscience

is killing you.

If she hadn't left,

you'd be back there begging.

- You think so, eh?

- Uh-huh, and a bottle

of Louis Treize says...

you'll be working for me

by St Patrick's Day.

A $500 bottle of brandy.

I'll have to take that bet.

Wake up! On your feet!

Come on! Whew!

One, two, three, four!

Work those hips!

Come on, girls.

Work those hips, yeah!

Feel it burn, yeah!

That fat's burnin'!

Morning, babe.

Listen, can you get me some

carrot juice from the fridge?

Get some for yourself too.

It's addictive.

- Pick it up! Whoo! One, two!

- Every f***ing morning.

Yeah. Well, just tell him

not to make a move until

he's seen our line, that's all.

And send Harvey

down to Dallas right away.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Good, Tony.

Great.

You are beautiful.

Yeah. Okay,

I'll be in the office in 15.

Ciao, Tony.

Tony? Tony Scaduto,

the sales manager?

- Yep.

- I thought he was in Mexico.

- Just got back Friday.

- Then I can go in and see him?

We'll let it wait

just a smidgen longer.

Remember, you're

picking me up at 7:00 tonight.

Why don't you wear the grey pinstripe

we bought you last week?

Okay.

Did you tell him about

my marketing ideas?

Honey, I don't want them to think I'm

shoving my boyfriend down their throat.

What difference does it make?

You're the boss.

These guys are

top salesmen, babe.

I can't treat them

like office boys.

Listen to me.

Look, you could wait six months...

you'd still be the youngest

sales manager in the business.

Trust me, baby.

Hey, come on!

Get that heap out of the way!

- How am I gonna get out of here?

- Hey, cool down, buddy.

Ah, you limo drivers

are all alike.

You stand around with your finger

up your ass. Come on, move!

Come on, give us a break.

Don't have a heart attack.

- Art.

- Hi.

Hello.

It's so good to see you.

Hello, darling.

God, it's been ages.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- You look fabulous in that coat.

- Thanks.

That colour is gorgeous on you.

Darling?

Take my coat, will you?

Yeah, I like that piece there.

- Bonnie, let's get out of here.

- Darling, I think you've had

enough to drink.

- Brian.

- Bonnie. What, are we playing

musical highballs here?

- Come on, heel, boy, heel.

- Come again?

Haven't got this one

party-broken yet, have you, Bonnie?

Brian, this is Robert Powell.

He's the sculptor.

Oh!

Oh, how do you do?

Interesting work.

- Thank you.

- Interesting. It's, uh,

very urban in orientation.

Robert, tell me, how...

did you get the cockroach

to stand still long...

You're drunk.

You're ugly.

Brian!

Could you hold this, please?

No, I'm okay.

Robert...

Ohhhhhhh!

- Brian, how could you do this?

- Have a nice day.

- Come on. The suspense is killing me.

- Well, at least you could apologize.

Apologize? Yes.

Brian, we have to talk

about this seriously.

Talk is overrated

as a means of resolving disputes.

I moved my stuff out of

your place this afternoon.

Left a can of Spam

in the refrigerator.

- I hope the brewer's yeast

doesn't take it personally.

- Bastard!

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, God, Brian, I'm sorry.

I'm sor...

Brian, listen, baby.

- I've got some interviews

set up for tomorrow...

- Forget it!

I am not a salesman.

I tried to sell out to you,

but I couldn't close the deal.

Please.

I don't want to end it this way.

Jesus, everything ends badly,

otherwise it wouldn't end.

Believe me, Bonnie, you are going

to wake up in the morning...

with a sigh of relief

because I'm not there.

Rave on

It's a crazy feelin'

And I know

it's got me reelin'

And I'm so glad that you're

revealin' your love to me

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