Cocktail Page #5

- Touche.

- Voila.

You see, Flanagan's a believer.

Always will be.

- He doesn't realize that the doors

are shut to people like us.

- Well, maybe he wants to open them.

Then he has to steal the key,

sweetheart.

Something Coughlin here

has been unable to do.

Hey, I don't have to, not any more.

I've had my miracle.

Oh, what? Some alky

remember you in his will?

Better.

I am in love.

Oh.

There is my miracle.

Who? Pocahontas over there,

waiting for everyone to notice her?

How dare you speak that way

about my wife.

- Your wife? In your dreams.

- For real.

We are here on our honeymoon.

Sweetheart!

Come hither.

You're married?

This is true love,

young Flanagan.

True love with a kicker.

She's got millions.

- Where were you? I thought

you drowned or something.

- No such luck.

Brian Flanagan, Kerry Coughlin.

The love of my life.

- Hello.

- Hi.

You see before you

a changed man.

The love of a good woman

has made me see the light.

Mmm.

This magic moment

While your lips

are close to mine

Will last forever

Forever till the end of time

Brian's cute.

How long have you known him?

About ten hours.

Excuse me.

There you go.

I have never seen a club

with such intense dance vibes.

Come on.

Let's decimate this dance floor.

I don't get the two of them.

Simple. She's just a little rich chick

whose family owns half of Manhattan.

And just to piss them off,

she decided to marry a bartender.

True love.

Let's dance?

Sweeter than wine

And softer than

a summer night

Everything I want I have

Whenever I hold you tight

This magic moment

While your lips

are close to mine

Will last forever

Forever till the end of time

Do you ever have the feeling

that you might meet somebody?

You know, when you walk into

some place or something?

- Star-crossed lovers' syndrome?

- Mmm.

- No.

- Oh!

Because I had a premonition that

I was gonna meet somebody

when I came down here.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, you still got time,

you know.

Some woman must have

really done a job on you.

Why does it always

have to be a woman?

Well, it doesn't.

Your friend, uh...

what's his name, Doug,

could have done it to you.

What's this?

Immune to Coughlin's

fatal charms?

Give him a minute,

you'll love him. All women do.

Well, I'm not like all women.

- I'll give you that.

- Hmm?

Of course,

I'm not like all men either.

You are an original

till you prove otherwise.

Uh-oh. I better be careful

not to lose my unique status.

Mmm.

So is this

one-night-stand time?

Doesn't make you

a bad person, you know.

Your parents own

half of Manhattan?

No!

Then your virtue's

quite safe with me.

For this evening anyway.

Come on.

I'll race you!

Tell myself l won't no more

But here I go again

The way I fought

so hard and fast

Think I've never been

In love, love, love

Like I've never been

In love, love, love

Here I go again

Heart aches

take it slow

You ain't got far to go

And if you travel smooth

Life be a pleasure cruise

Heart aches

take it slow

You ain't got far to go

And if you travel smooth

Life be a pleasure cruise

Oh, I love you so

I guess, I guess

I guess you know

Oh, I love you so

I guess, I guess

I guess you know

Oh, I love you so

I guess, I guess

I guess you know

Oh, I love you so

I guess, I guess

I guess you know

I guess, I guess

I guess you know

Smile!

So this is your profession?

More like my obsession.

- Does it pay the rent?

- Someday it will.

Right now, though,

I'm waiting tables at Jerry's Deli.

Sure, I know the place.

Home of the famous

cement Danish.

Yeah, that's the one.

- Yeah.

- Hey!

Don't look.

It's not done.

- This doesn't look like me.

- It's the real you.

You've captured

my innermost soul.

- Ohh!

- Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

- Sh*t!

- Are you okay? Aww!

We should go on

one of those.

Tomorrow?

- You know,

there's a guy who makes these.

- One guy?

He must be exhausted.

Yes, he is, but still,

he gets up in the morning...

and he kisses his wife, and he goes

to his drink umbrella factory...

where he rips off 10 billion

of these a year.

This guy's a millionaire.

- How about the guy who makes these?

- How about that guy?

Not to mention

the guy who makes these.

And those little wrappers

are made by another guy.

What about these plastic things

at the end of these laces?

Mmm. It's probably got

one of those weird names too...

like a "flugelbinder."

Flugelbinder, right.

We sit here, and we're

surrounded by millionaires.

You wrack your brains

day and night...

to try to come up with

a moneymaking scheme...

and some guy corners

the flugelbinder market.

Aw. Poor baby.

He's frustrated.

You get a bar job to keep

your days free for your real gig.

After work, you're so charged up,

you have a few drinks.

You know, hey, it's party time.

Days get shorter and shorter.

Nights, longer and longer.

Before you know it,

your life is just one long night...

with a few comatose

daylight hours.

Oh, God. Stop feeling so sorry

for yourself, Flanagan.

Hey, your flugelbinder is out there

waiting to be discovered.

Waiting.

- Do you think so?

- I do.

No. Stay.

Stay there.

Uh-oh.

Oh.

Ta-da!

You know I'm a man

I don't like to brag

But it's been

Growin' into a feelin'

It's been a drag

I know that I can

Run for the shelter

of your love

Run for the shelter

of your love

Run for the shelter

of your love

Run for the shelter

of your love

- I wish we could stay here forever.

- Mmm.

I'd build a little hut

over there on the beach.

I'd fish and pick coconuts.

No, I'd do the fishing

and coconut picking.

- No.

- Yes.

No, you would make thatched skirts

to sell to the tourists.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

Thatch one, purl two?

Yeah.

And we'd never go home.

Our kids would look really great

in dreadlocks too.

Kids?

How are you making out

with that little blond chippie?

How come I've always got the chippies,

and you're always with the princess?

That's a question

only you can answer.

This man's phenomenal.

Put him in a room full of women...

and he goes for the poorest

and the dumbest every single time.

The man's astounding.

His wife parades half naked

on the beach...

and he thinks she's

just there for the sun.

My wife does not need

other men.

You know what they say about

sexual vanity in men over 40?

- It's the first sign of senility.

- Please try to keep your envy in check.

Ooh, envy.

He's my protege.

I taught him all I know.

Together with a token,

it might get me on a subway.

You can only

take a guy so far.

Then it's a question of biology.

Biology is destiny.

Ah, the old fool-osopher.

You see, there are two kinds

of people in this world:

the workers and the hustlers.

The hustlers never work

and the workers never hustle.

And you, my friend,

are a worker.

God knows I've tried to beat

that instinct out of him...

but it's there ingrained

in your immigrant blood.

Look how tasty your cocktails are.

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