Coco Page #10

DEPARTURES AGENT

Next!

HÉCTOR (early 20s), a ragged fellow, steps up to the monitor,

disguised as Frida Kahlo.

HÉCTOR

Yes, it is I. Frida Kahlo.

(beat)

Shall we skip the scanner? I'm on

so many ofrendas, it'll just

overwhelm your blinky thingie...

The monitor scans him, but an "X" appears, accompanied by a

negative buzzing sound.

38.

DEPARTURES AGENT

Well shoot. Looks like no one put

up your photo, Frida...

Héctor peels off his unibrow and throws off his frock.

HÉCTOR

Okay, when I said I was Frida...

just now? That... that was a lie.

And I apologize for doing that.

DEPARTURES AGENT

No photo on an ofrenda, no crossing

the bridge.

HÉCTOR

You know what, I'm just gonna zip

right over, you won't even know I'm

gone.

Héctor bolts for the bridge. A security guards blocks the

gate. Héctor splits in two and slides past the guard, half

going over, half under.

HÉCTOR

Ha HA!

Héctor reaches the bridge at a sprint, but the magic doesn't

engage; he sinks right into the petals.

HÉCTOR

Almost there, just a little

further...!

The guards saunter to the bridge and casually pull Héctor

back toward the Land of the Dead.

OFFICER:

Upsy-daisy...

HÉCTOR

Fine, okay. Fine, who cares...

Dumb flower bridge!

Miguel watches as the guards haul him out. Tía Rosita looks

up in time to see his back.

TÍA ROSITA

I don't know what I'd do if no one

put up my photo.

ARRIVALS AGENT (O.S.)

Next!

39.

TÍA ROSITA

Oh! Come mijo, it's our turn.

The arrivals line moves forward. The Dead Riveras crowd

around the gate. The arrivals agent leans out from his

window.

ARRIVALS AGENT:

Welcome back, amigos! Anything to

declare?

PAPÁ JULIO

As a matter of fact, yes.

The family pushes Miguel to the front, very much alive.

MIGUEL:

Hola.

The arrivals agent's jaw literally drops.

CUT TO:

INT. MARIGOLD GRAND CENTRAL STATION

Miguel and his family are escorted by a security guard across

an arching second floor walkway.

VOICE OVER P.A.

Paging Marta Gonzales-Ramos. Marta

Gonzales-Ramos, please report to

Level 7.

Dante happily trots alongside. Miguel looks up to see

gondolas traveling by.

MIGUEL:

Whoa...

Skeletons stare at Miguel as he walks by. Suddenly Miguel

notices Tío Oscar staring at his face in deep contemplation.

TÍO OSCAR

I miss my nose...

At the end of the walkway are doors emblazoned with

"DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY REUNIONS." The family passes through.

INT. DEPARTMENT OF FAMILY REUNIONS

Inside, they find case workers helping travelers work out

holiday snafus.

40.

DISTRESSED TRAVELER

C'mon! Help us out amigo... We

gotta get to a dozen ofrendas

tonight...

CUT TO:

MIFFED WIFE:

We are NOT visiting your ex-wife's

family for Día de Muertos!

CUT TO:

In a far corner, one traveler in particular is raising hell.

MAMÁ IMELDA

I demand to speak to the person in

charge!

A beleaguered CASE WORKER cringes as Mamá Imelda tears into

her.

CASE WORKER:

I'm sorry, señora, it says here no

one put up your photo--

Mamá Imelda coldly eyes the Macintosh 128k on the woman's

desk.

MAMÁ IMELDA

My family always -- ALWAYS -- puts

my photo on the ofrenda! That

devil box tells you nothing but

lies!

In a swift movement, Mamá Imelda removes her shoe and smacks

the computer.

PAPÁ JULIO

Mamá Imelda?

She turns her shoe on Papá Julio, who leans back and yelps.

Mamá Imelda softens.

MAMÁ IMELDA

Oh, mi familia! They wouldn't let

me cross the bridge! Tell this

woman and her devil box that my

photo is on the ofrenda.

PAPÁ JULIO

Well, we never made it to the

ofrenda...

41.

MAMÁ IMELDA

What?!

PAPÁ JULIO

We ran into... um...

Mamá Imelda's eyes fall on Miguel.

Miguel looks at Mamá Imelda. Her photo flashes before him.

MAMÁ IMELDA

Miguel?

MIGUEL:

Mamá Imelda...

MAMÁ IMELDA

What is going on?

Just then, a door opens and a CLERK pokes his head out.

CLERK:

You the Rivera family?

The computer short circuits.

CUT TO:

INT. CLERK'S OFFICE

CLERK:

Well, you're cursed.

The family gasps.

MIGUEL:

What?!

The clerk searches through a huge stack of papers.

CLERK:

Día de los Muertos is a night to

GIVE to the dead. You STOLE from

the dead.

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