College Road Trip Page #7

(BLOWING WHISTLE)

No, no. I'm a father! Listen, calm down!

I knew it.

(TASER BUZZING)

No, this... This ain't what it looks...

(TASER BUZZING)

(THUDDING)

Where is he? Still no answer.

We're gonna miss our flight.

You gotta line up the colors.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello? Yes, this is she.

What? He's where?

(SIGHS) I cannot believe this.

For the last time, I have to

get my daughter to Georgetown.

Right. Sure, yeah.

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

Come in.

Hi, my name is Melanie Porter.

I got a call about my father. Is he okay?

The individual in custody was

discovered this morning on campus

sleeping underneath a girl's bed

at the Omega Psi Lambda house.

Mel! My baby girl.

You ain't gonna believe

what happened.

I tried calling you,

and some guy answered the phone.

- And it was kind of...

- This man is not my father.

Melanie Porter.

Because my father would never

cross the line like that.

He would trust me

to make smart choices.

- Excuse me, but I have a flight to catch.

- Mel.

Mel! Don't walk away from... Mel!

(SNIFFLING)

Roger Wilco. Over and out.

Free to go. Someone sprung you.

James.

Mama, what's going on?

And where's Melanie and Trey?

Trey's taking Albert for a walk, and

Melanie's trying to catch her plane.

And you let her go without me?

Sit down, James.

Melanie told me what happened

at Northwestern.

I can explain that.

You didn't want her

to go to Georgetown,

so you concocted some ridiculous plan.

I'm just trying to keep everybody safe.

(SCOFFS) James.

You took my home and you turned it

into a high-security prison.

You can't even let her spend the night

with some friends

without creeping around

like a cat burglar.

What do you expect me to do?

How am I supposed to know she's safe

if she goes all the way to Washington?

James, how do you think I felt

when you left to join the army?

- I don't know, Mama.

- I was terrified!

I worried about you all the time.

I still do.

But you had to follow your own path,

and I had to let you leave the nest.

I wanted you home

every day you were gone,

but I had to trust you.

I had to trust

that you could take care of yourself.

And I had to believe in you.

So why can't you believe in her?

- I'll see you back at home.

- Is Mom gonna kill me?

I got your back on this one.

Just don't let it happen again.

- Good luck.

- You'll need this.

- Mama, I love you.

- I love you, too, Son.

TREY:
Bye, Dad.

Excuse me.

The flight to DC, has it left yet?

I'm sorry, sir.

I'm afraid you've missed it.

Mel.

Hi.

You missed the flight.

I wouldn't have if you hadn't

gotten yourself arrested.

- Mel, look. I was...

- Dad, listen.

Georgetown is... It's over.

You know, you're getting

exactly what you wanted.

Me, closer to home.

Baby, that's what I came here

to tell you.

I don't want that anymore.

- What are you talking about?

- You know...

Dads don't know everything.

We just try to do the best we can.

Last night, when I came

to the sorority house?

I was trying to protect you.

That's what I do. I protect people.

Now, sometimes I go too far.

- In this case, I went way too far.

- Dad...

No, baby, look. I love you.

But I was so into what I wanted for you

that I couldn't see what you wanted.

I want what every girl wants.

I want a dad who loves me,

who adores me.

I want you to know

that you raised a really good girl.

I want you to trust me.

Guess I still see you as that

little six-year-old girl

singing Double Dutch Bus.

I'm not that little girl anymore, Daddy.

I've grown up.

Reality is,

you've shown me I can trust you.

You have.

Okay, I'll make a deal with you.

No more my plan, only your plan.

Now let's get you to Georgetown.

Deal.

(GIGGLES)

I don't care if Bob's here or not,

we got to be in DC by 3:30.

DC. Flow with me, Mel. Flow with me!

Excuse me. Excuse me!

- Is the plane going to Washington?

- Yeah, but it's for team members only.

We got a police emergency.

You have to let us on that plane.

- Are you guys divers?

- Yeah.

Big time. Huge divers.

Since I was a baby.

Well, climb on board.

(DON'T BRING ME DOWN PLAYING)

You got me runnin'

goin' out of my mind

You got me thinkin'

that I'm wastin' my time

Don't bring me down

No, no, no, no, no

I'll tell you once more

before I get off the floor

Don't bring me down, down, down

- We did it.

- Yeah. We did it.

Excuse me.

I never heard of a diving team

having their own plane.

Be pretty hard to do our thing

without one.

I thought all you'd need is

a swimming pool and a bouncy board.

Wrong kind of diving team, man!

Well, what sort of diving team are you?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

Rock and roll!

(WHOOPING)

Dad! Dad, a skydiving team!

You mean, we're not landing in DC?

We are, but the plane's not.

But we got to get to Georgetown now!

There's only one way

that's gonna happen!

(SHOUTS)

USA!

(SCREAMING)

USA!

Don't bring me down

What happened to the girl

I used to know?

(BOTH SCREAMING)

You let your mind out

somewhere down the road

Don't bring me down

No, no, no, no, no

- We can do this! Okay!

- Okay!

We got to get to Georgetown!

Okay, Daddy!

All right. One!

Two! Three!

(SCREAMING)

Now that's a great dad!

You got me shakin',

got me runnin' away

Don't bring me down

Dad! Pull the cord!

- What?

- Pull the cord!

Oh, yeah, the cord!

Don't bring me down

(CHUCKLING)

Sorry about the wedding, Lou.

Nice try, Phil.

But you're not going to psych me out.

After I make this putt,

you owe me $20,000.

(CHUCKLES)

Happy days are here again.

- Look out!

- Look out!

(SCREAMING)

(GROANING)

That was weird.

What happened?

How do you get out of this?

- Sorry about that. You okay?

- You?

- Oh, no.

- You!

I'm real sorry about your wedding.

- I'm going to kill you and your little pig!

- Gotta go.

Let's go! That way! That way!

- That's my cart!

- Move! Move!

MELANIE:
I can see the campus

right over there!

Ten minutes to spare.

Ain't no stopping us now.

- Dad!

- Surprise!

Are you out of your mind?

(CHORTLING)

Hand me the four-iron, Mel.

Take the wheel.

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

- How we looking?

- Looking good!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(HONKING)

(WHOOPING)

(SCREAMING)

Is this part of the initiation?

MELANIE:
Get out of the way!

(HONKING)

All right. Come on.

We got one minute to go!

- Go, Mel! Go, Mel! Go, Mel!

- I'm going! I'm going!

Daddy, elevator!

(ALL SHOUTING)

Wrong door!

Go! Go, move!

MELANIE:
Work, work, work, work!

Come on.

(CRASHING)

Sorry. I'm so very sorry about that one.

(GRUNTING)

Daddy, get it off of me!

(GRUNTING)

Hi. My name is Melanie Porter.

I have an interview

with the admissions committee.

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