College Road Trip Page #6

when I was a little girl.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Okay. Brother.

I'm gonna need you to give me

a little bass on this one, all right?

Like this.

(HUMMING)

(HUMMING)

Who's next?

(HUMMING)

(SINGING) That's it

Gimme a "Ho!"

if you've got your funky bus fare

ALL:
Ho!

There's a double dutch bus

coming down the street

Moving pretty fast

So kind of shuffle your feet

Get on the bus and pay your fare

And tell the driver that you're

going to a double dutch affair

Follow me.

Fe fi fo fum

Fe fi fo fum

Well, I'll be darned, here it comes

Well, I'll be darned, here it comes

The double dutch bus is on the street

The double dutch bus is on the street

You better get off the curb

And move your feet

Get off the curb

And move your feet

- Say "Ho!"

- ALL:
Ho!

- Say "Ho! Ho!"

- ALL:
Ho! Ho!

- Say "Uptown!"

- ALL:
Uptown!

- Say "Downtown!"

- ALL:
Downtown!

On the count of three

Repeat after me

One, two, three

Bip, bomp, bam, alakazam

But only when you're grooving

With the double dutch man

Bip, bomp, bam, alakazam

But only when you're grooving

With the double dutch man

(HUMMING)

(CROWD HUMMING)

(HUMMING)

(CROWD HUMMING)

Everybody scream

(ALL SCREAMING)

And you said you didn't remember.

Well, of course I remember, Dad.

It's our song.

- Tell me about this Cooper Program.

- Oh, my goodness. It's so exciting.

Okay, so I'm just like all about it.

(INAUDIBLE)

JAMES:
You're just going to make a left

down Maples,

three blocks and we're there.

Thank you.

Dad, do you think that

Grandma still knows we're coming?

Well, I didn't call her.

But it's not like she's going anywhere.

Just remember,

she's an old woman now.

She's not as light on her feet.

(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)

(WHOOPS)

Oh, yeah!

- It's my son!

- Not the control freak!

Hide!

MAN:
We've got to get out of here.

WOMAN:
No, not there!

Oh!

Come on. What's on your mind?

That won't work.

If you're ever in Okinawa...

- Goodbye!

- Bye!

Bye!

You know they're gonna have that song

in their head for the rest of their life.

Everybody needs a little Double Dutch

in their life.

That's right, that's right.

Oh, wow. Here we are.

Home sweet home.

I just hope the surprise isn't too much

of a shock for her fragile heart.

- She's getting up there in age.

- She's 63.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

One second!

ALL:
We're here!

- My goodness!

- TREY:
Hi, Grandma.

Not so rough, you'll break her.

Hey, Mama. Good to see you.

WOMAN:
Is the coast clear? Hello?

Yoo-hoo!

Now, Mama, I know

you like the new security system.

Uh-huh. It's lovely.

Watch this.

Check this out.

- Floodlights.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Pretty impressive, right?

- James, it looks like a football field!

- GIRLS:
Melanie!

- Oh, my goodness, I can't believe it!

Oh, my goodness! Hi.

Oh, my gosh! No!

What are you doing here?

- Yeah, what are you all doing here?

- After you couldn't make it yesterday,

we just decided to stay an extra night

at my sister's and surprise you.

You can sleep over at my sister's

like we planned.

This is amazing! Amazing!

This is the bestest, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Totally.

Thank you. Thank you, guys!

Okay, bye, you guys.

You're awesome!

Come on, you guys, let's go.

Don't forget, we got a 10:00 flight

to DC in the morning.

Dad, don't worry. I'll be home by 8:00.

Thank you, thank you,

thank you, thank you!

Good night, James.

You sure you don't want to wait for me

to finish this?

I think I'll survive the night.

(YAWNS)

Albert and I are going to sleep.

Good night, Son.

You still mad at me

for coming on the trip?

Son, no.

No, I could never stay mad at you.

You're my little man.

- I love you, Dad.

- I love you, too, Son.

- Good night.

- Get some rest.

MAN ON TV:
The gazelle daughter

remains at its father's side,

seeking protection and security,

for if it veers off, it becomes

vulnerable to a myriad of predators.

What are you doing, gazelle?

Stay with your daddy.

Without the parent's guidance,

the offspring are at the mercy

of the harsh and unforgiving

animal universe.

Let's watch as the cheetah

rips the little gazelle's head clean off.

Poor little gazelle, you should have

stayed with your father.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)

(HUMMING)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

(COUGHING)

- Hello?

- Who's this?

- It's Chris.

- Chris? What are you doing there?

Duh, I live here.

Where's Melanie?

I don't know.

I think she's in the shower.

Hey. Hey, Bobbi.

Can you check and see

if Melanie's in the shower?

Shower!

(BIG STUFF PLAYING)

Oh, yeah

(GROANING)

Mr. Big Stuff

Who do you think you are?

Mr. Big Stuff

You're never gonna get my love

Mr. Big Stuff, tell me

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Who do you think you are?

Mr. Big Stuff

- Can I help you?

- I need to see my daughter.

- Who's your daughter?

- Melanie Porter.

She's not a student here,

she's just spending the night.

- It will only take a minute.

- Who is she staying with?

- Katie's sister.

- Katie's sister.

Yeah.

I'm gonna need a little more than that.

Ma'am, it's okay. I'm a police officer.

Oh, thank goodness.

Where's your badge, officer?

It's back at my mom's.

Oh!

You still live with your mom.

That's nice.

Look, I know what this sounds like.

Sounds like you're not getting in

my sorority.

- Bye-bye, now.

- Melanie! Melanie!

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Melanie!

(GIRLS SHOUTING)

Fight! Fight!

Mel! Don't touch her! Mel!

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

I've got you! Daddy's coming, baby!

Daddy's coming.

(GROANS)

(SQUEALING)

(GIRLS SCREAMING)

Oh, my goodness, you guys.

- Mel, should I get my hair highlighted?

- That could be pretty.

Do you think

I should get color contacts?

KATIE:
That could be pretty.

- Think I should get sparkly lip gloss?

- MELANIE:
That could be pretty.

I am so glad we had this talk.

Wow, you actually talked to your dad?

I talked to him about everything,

my whole plan.

Major in political science,

minor in American history

and then to the Cooper Program

for Japan.

Wow.

He was actually excited

to hear about it.

I think I might've misjudged him

this whole time.

It's the first time I remember us

having a real conversation.

He listened to me.

He treated me like an adult.

I know he's done a lot of crazy things

in the past,

but on the bus, it was different.

He changed.

I think he actually trusts me to be on

my own and make my own decisions.

- Georgetown!

- Georgetown!

(SQUEALING)

(POP SONG PLAYING ON RADIO)

(SNORING)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(SNORING CONTINUES)

(BOTH SCREAMING)

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