Columbus Day Page #4

---

I mean, I knew.

That's when I fell for you.

You rented the whole place

out and never told me.

I gotta go.

If this is so hard for you,

why do you even start?

You're just kidding around, right?

Shut up.

Or what, you're

gonna shoot me?

You don't want

to do that.

You're mean.

I'm sorry.

No, you're not!

Okay, you're right.

Um...

What do you want me to do?

Show me what's in there.

Show me what's in the case.

Okay. Um...

I'll show you, and...

If you give me the gun first.

No. Show me, and

I'll give you the gun.

Okay.

Be careful. You know

that's real, right?

I'll show you the case, okay?

Yeah.

I'll show you, all right?

You're mean.

You're mean.

You're mean.

John!

Stop, John!

Hey, what are you doin'?

- Get out!

Hey! Ehh, hey!

Let's go!

Stop!

This is Max.

- What have you got?

Nothing.

- What do you mean?

Well, no buyers, chum.

The banks are closed.

It's a holiday.

What the f*** is with the holidays?

What holiday?

It's Columbus Day.

Well, that's not a real holiday.

Exactly, right?

What the f*** is Columbus, anyway?

Well, he did discover America.

Yeah, and I discovered my ass

but then realized it was

already there, Johnny.

Then the Indians should've sailed

to Spain and told them about it.

And told them

to stay the f*** out.

Max, can I ask you

a personal question--

are you having some Bob Marley-rasta-ganja-

vision quest on my ass?

John, I don't know

if you realize this,

but I'm South American,

which means that I'm

at least half Indian, okay?

Don't you white people

read anymore?

You guys are busy with

your Klan barbeques and sh*t.

Uh, hang on a second, Malcolm X.

We're talking history, right?

I mean, Columbus did know

the world was round;

he did know America was there.

Bullshit.

He was sailing for Asia

because he thought the walls

were made out of gold, okay?

He ran into America

and called us Indians

because he thought

he was in India.

Hombre was just lost.

Well, that's how you find

new and interesting stuff.

At least the Spaniard was brave.

Sh*t, yeah, he was brave.

I ain't getting

in no motherfucking boat.

By the way, he was

Italian, you dumb-dumb.

Wait, so you're saying discovering

half the known world

is sort of

a personal realization?

Exactly, personal realization.

Like saying rock'n'roll didn't

exist before I heard my first record?

Right. You see, Columbus

wants to sit back,

mix Cheerios with Cocoa Puffs,

maybe put a little bit

of sugar on it.

That's fine with me.

I'll even have a beer with it.

But don't let

the kids out of school

thinking that he

discovered some sh*t.

You know, you're right.

F*** Columbus.

Exactly.

F*** Columbus.

Max, I want to hear about my deal now,

if that's okay with you.

Well, uh...

No banks, no money, no deal.

Who have you tried?

I've tried everybody,

all the big guns.

What about

Jimmy Espinosa?

I don't f*** with

Jimmy Espinosa.

He has the cash.

How do you know?

'Cause he was usin' it

to buy this case last night.

You knocked over

Jimmy Espinosa?

Well, that's how I know he'll

be real glad to buy it back.

That's why La Torre

turned on you.

La Torre hates Espinosa.

Apparently he likes

being alive more.

You're a marked man, John.

I'll give you 25%.

You know, that's

very generous of you.

Thank you so much. Aw!

The problem is that

Jimmy Espinosa is Hitler!

Hitler had money.

Dude, he killed his mother!

That's just a rumor.

Nah, man. Nah, my boys

were in on that one.

She was skimming off

his operations,

so he had to set a precedent.

So he put his mother down.

And then at the funeral,

he fills it with flowers,

beautiful, all colors.

You would've thought

that it was Princess Diana.

Sounds like just

the guy I need.

Dude, Jimmy Espinosa

killed his mother,

and I know he ain't

popping out of your p*ssy,

so I know he's not gonna

care about killing you.

And you took his briefcase?

Can you get me Jimmy Espinosa?

First Manny, now Jimmy Espinosa.

Do you have a way out?

Not yet.

Well, then you have nothing.

I got the case.

- Besides that.

I got you, and you

could do anything.

Do it. Max?

Max, do it.

Let's go find the New World.

Is this kid with you?

What?

Well, he said

you were his dad.

Adopted.

Antoine, what are you lying

to the officers for?

I married his mom.

Paddleboat guy caught him trying

to take one out without paying.

Lying and now you're stealing?

What's wrong with you?

I told you I'd be

a minute on the phone.

Dude...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You are this

kid's father?

Stepfather.

Seeing a cop's kind of--

kind of scary, huh?

Your dad's not around?

Can I ride the paddleboat?

Ack. Whoo!

This is fun.

Unh.

Eh.

Ah. What's inside?

Can't you just describe it?

Fountain of youth.

Like El Dorado,

the lost city of gold?

How the hell do you

know about El Dorado?

We're studying the conquistadors.

Well, I'm the king of the conquistadors.

But they never found El Dorado.

Well, they never had

this briefcase.

Hmm.

Well, we have

to memorize that poem,

"Eldorado," by Edgar Allan Pow.

Poe.

- That's what I said.

Want to hear it?

Sure. It'll be my theme song.

"Gaily bedight, A gallant knight,

"In sunshine and in shadow,

"Had journeyed long,

Singing a song,

"In search of Eldorado.

"But he grew old--

"This knight oh so bold--

"And o'er his heart a shadow

"Fell as he found

"No spot of ground

That looked like Eldorado."

That's good.

But it's not over.

You didn't even

let me finish.

Okay.

- Sorry.

Yeah...

"As he found

No spot of ground..."

He found...

no spot of ground...

You want me to quiz you?

You gotta do it for school, right?

You might as well

get it right.

I guess.

- Okay.

"As he found..."

"No spot of ground

That looked like Eldorado."

"And as his strength..."

"Failed him at length..."

"He met a pilgrim shadow."

"'Shadow,' said he,

'Where can it be--

This land of Eldorado?'"

"'Over the Mountains

of the Moon,

"'Down the Valley

of the Shadow,

"'Ride, boldly ride,'

The shade replied--

'If you seek for Eldorado.'"

So, El Dorado--

to find it, you have to be dead.

That's what

the workbook said.

You keep looking for it,

but it kills you

because you can't find it.

Well, that's your poem.

But you said El Dorado.

Yeah, well, I found it.

I don't believe you.

Besides, if El Dorado

was in there,

you'd be a lot happier.

Hello?

- Hello?

H-hello?

You talk to him,

you can talk to me

about your green card.

Hello?

- Cheryl, it's me.

Baby, I'm worried

about you.

Why don't you

come home?

When I'm finished

with my business.

Where are you, honey?

I'm staying safe.

Where?

I'll pick you up, sweetie.

No, I got a meeting first

with Jimmy Espinosa.

Uh, I'll pick you up

when it's over.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

So there's that.

Whew.

He's working off a tower

in Silver Lake.

He's definitely outside.

If he's outside,

he can be seen.

I got Jimmy Espinosa.

- Yes!

He's offering 1.5.

But, see, John,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes