Confessions Of An American Bride Page #4

- Hi.

...I'm sorry I snapped at you.

Apology accepted.

- And the other stuff...

- Don't worry about it.

I'm not apologizing

for the other stuff.

Yeah, we had some disagreements.

It's gonna happen again.

We both just, you know,

have to give a little...

...not let the stress rip us apart.

I'm not stressed. I'm totally relaxed.

Sam, I saw the potato chips.

Give and take, Sam.

That's all we gotta do, right?

Give and take.

Ben was right, in theory.

But in practice, the thing

with give and take is...

...oftentimes, no one winds up happy.

Add that to the stress

of moving in together.

Know what you get?

More, not less, tension.

- Ben, the drain's stopped up.

- Yeah.

Ben?

It's probably clogged with hair.

Sam, there's hair everywhere.

The same thing happened in the shower.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay. I can fix this.

Do you know how?

Of course I do.

We'll save the hundred bucks

we'd have spent on the plumber...

...and get that fondue set

we can't live without.

Stone wanted a dry run of

my ad presentation to the company, ASAP.

So the kitchen was quickly converted

into my makeshift home office.

The pipes are fixed.

Thanks.

So, look, it's been a long day.

Why don't you come to bed.

I just... I need to finish this.

- It'll be here in the morning.

- Yeah, but I have to review.

Come on. You've been at this for hours.

You need the rest. We both do.

Oh, I miss this.

Ben can be comforting when he tries.

Come on.

So all I'm saying is, it wouldn't hurt

to have a few dance lessons.

You think we need them?

Of course, the next morning,

things were back to normal.

I'd love to learn how to waltz.

Yeah, but when will we have time?

- Saturday mornings.

- Saturday?

You wanna give up

one of your sleep-in days...

...for a dance that no one will remember?

I'll remember.

No, no, no.

Ben!

Sam.

Is it salvageable?

Interestingly, the problem

was in your bathroom.

Oh, yeah, some hair

clogging the drain, huh?

No, hair wouldn't do this.

It was the bozo

who worked on your pipes last time.

- What, $250?

- Emergency call.

There goes the fondue set.

Next time, don't play Mr. Fix-It,

call a professional.

I think dance lessons might be fun.

- So the drain ate your homework, huh?

- Well, no, not exactly.

Okay, maybe, but it sounds

much lamer than it is.

- Please don't replace me as liaison.

- I'm not replacing you.

Oh, well, I really appreciate...

The project director, a Luke Stinson,

specifically asked for you.

Luke Stinson?

- What?

- Nothing. Waiting for your phone to ring.

- I shut it off.

- Good. So you know this Stinson guy, huh?

Sort of. We went to college together.

Well, well. Score one for favoritism.

So who's Luke Stinson?

Who was he? You all know him.

He's the guy you had a crush on.

Perfect-looking, sensitive,

with deep-set eyes and...

Yeah, he was hot,

and you didn't have a shot.

No one did.

Except me, once.

Sort of. Maybe.

Senior year, our American lit class

assigned study partners for the final.

I drew Luke, and it was a bit,

well, distracting.

I found it hard to concentrate

on anything other than his ass.

You know, Hemingway's great.

I won't argue that...

...but that macho terseness?

Don't you ever just crave the sweet poetry

of a convoluted Dickensian sentence?

The only thing I was craving

was the sweet poetry of his tongue.

Yeah.

Your button.

Thanks.

Now, what would you do here?

Young, single, and hottie guy leaning in.

Kiss him, grab him?

Pull him behind the stacks?

Sam? You okay?

Luke?

Luke took me to the emergency room

that night.

By the time I was up and walking,

the semester had ended...

... and I never saw him again.

I actually managed to sprain an ankle,

bruise a knee, and kill a romance...

...all in one klutz-o-rific instant.

Oh, and I also got a C on the exam.

- No way was he going in for a kiss.

- Thanks, Kristin.

You can't change the past.

You might as well be able to live with it.

I know, it's just that those kind of memories

are sort of comforting.

I mean, I've always looked at Luke,

as dumb as it sounds...

...as the one who got away.

You mean, up until you met Ben.

Right. Until Ben.

No, no, no.

No disapproving stares allowed.

- What are you thinking?

- Nothing.

Just that I haven't heard you gush

about Ben like that in a long time.

Luckily, that disturbing thought was

shoved out of my mind by something else.

There it was.

I knew it the instant I saw it.

My Excalibur.

Only instead of pulling it

out of a rock...

... I just had to make sure

I didn't have to sell my car to afford it.

If you think I'm gonna let you

see me in it now, you're crazy.

Sam, they're here.

Okay.

- Hey, Sam.

- Hi, Luke.

It's been way too long.

Okay, let's get right to it.

Our team liaison, Samantha Hoyt.

She'll begin the meeting.

Welcome, everyone.

Let me start with the demographic

breakdown of your target consumer.

This chart divides the market

into two important segments:

Family and personal consumption.

Our campaign

will aggressively target both.

But before we go further, we'd like to know

what you think of my figure.

I mean, our figures.

"Our figures" is what I meant to say,

not "my figure. "

I mean, why would we care

what you think of my...?

Why don't we all just take a moment

to look through the charts.

Damn, he's hot.

You know that old public speaking trick

of imagining your audience in underwear?

Yeah, didn't work so much with Luke.

- You were fine. It was great.

- Nancy.

Okay, rocky finish, but very strong start.

Well, look who discovered

the local watering hole.

Oh, that's it. Either I gotta stop drinking,

or I'm kicking it up a notch.

Light beer, please. It's your round.

- Beer and wine.

- So how's the ankle?

- You remember that?

- It's kind of hard to forget.

Yeah, well, my coordination

is much improved these days.

Well, that's too bad.

It was kind of cute.

- Should be a fun project, don't you think?

- Yeah, definitely.

I always knew

we'd run into each other again.

I sort of had a feeling.

So I heard you requested me.

I was kind of surprised.

All right, guilty.

Yeah, I did some asking around...

...and I heard you were the brains

of the department.

Oh, that's a nice ring, by the way.

Thanks. Yeah, I just got engaged.

Congratulations.

All right, I'll admit it.

I sort of had an ulterior motive.

- For congratulating me?

- No, for requesting you.

Okay, what was that?

No, no. It's stupid, especially now.

Oh, come on. Just tell me.

All right.

Back in school... And don't laugh.

- I sort of had a crush on you.

- You did?

- Yeah.

I promise I'm not a stalker...

...but I kind of viewed you

as the one who got away.

First off, Kristin, one word for you:

He was trying to kiss me.

Okay, let's think about this for a second.

All he said was, he looked at me

as the one who got away.

"Looked. " Means nothing.

It's amazingly easy

to build a safety net out of a fantasy...

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