Confessions Of An American Bride Page #5

...when nothing ever happened.

But now we're just two professionals

working together.

And I'm marrying the man that I love,

so it's all good.

See, there he is, probably confirming

our meeting with the florist...

... along with our weekly dinner

at Andre's.

- Hello?

- Hi, honey.

It wasn't easy, but I did it.

He does interfaith.

We're meeting him this Sunday afternoon.

Honey, we have a rabbi.

It was even better than I hoped.

My Ben was really coming through.

I love you.

Oh, good, because there's

one other thing.

Alan got courtside for Wolves-Spurs tonight,

so can we do Andre's next week?

Sure.

Hey, what about the florist?

Sam, if the Wolves win, they get home court

advantage throughout the playoffs...

...and, I mean, you know

what that means.

Yeah, it means

I'm going to the florist alone.

Honey, I grant you power of attorney

over all things floral, okay?

And I promise, no arguments.

Okay, fine, whatever.

You're not gonna be mad, right?

I mean, because if this is gonna be

one of those major deals, I'll change my...

No. Of course not.

- Go have fun.

- Okay. Bye.

No, it's true. The low-fat, high-carb

recommendations are a relic of the '70s.

There are studies that show

the benefits of curbing your carb intake.

- It's science now.

- Really?

You've almost got me sold

on going low-carb.

- Like you need it.

- Oh, you do? Come on, get serious.

So how is next Wednesday, 10-ish?

It's a date.

He's hot.

Okay, great. I got it.

- All right.

- Okay.

- See you.

- Bye.

- What?

- You and Luke sure work well together.

Nancy, it's just work.

Right. Just be careful.

At home, we seemed to be arguing

about everything.

Maybe I should see if being a dad

is something I'm cut out for...

...with one kid before we start competing

with the old lady in the shoe.

Only children are so lonely, Ben.

It's not fair to the kid.

Do we have to talk about this now?

Why not now?

Well, it's 11:
00 on a Thursday...

...and we need to plan our entire family life

down to retirement?

That's not what I'm saying.

I thought we should discuss it,

but if you're too tired...

No, no, no. Okay, yeah, yeah, let's do it.

How about this?

Four kids, two of each,

then we hit Arizona and wait out the clock?

Why can't you talk about this seriously?

Because nothing is gonna get settled

while we're both exhausted.

So just sleep on it,

and we'll deal with it later.

Suddenly, the weeks were flying by,

and later became soon.

And by then, I had other things

to worry about...

... like when I discovered my life seemed

destined to be overrun by one thing:

Boxes.

Soon after the moving boxes

were cleared out...

... the gift boxes began to arrive.

Cool, we got a rice cooker.

And a bread maker.

And an asparagus steamer.

Oh, and another rice cooker.

The delivery guy came around so often,

he was almost like family.

Work was going well.

Some might say too well.

And living with Ben?

Well, that was teaching me a few things.

Like, I can't stand the stench of stale beer

mixed with sweat and pizza sauce.

Things weren't all smelly, though.

We did find a gorgeous wedding site.

I've seen it in the spring,

and it's fabulous.

I'm counting on global warming

to get me a dream wedding.

So I had a honeymoon idea.

- What?

- Europe.

I'd love that. I've never been.

Let's go backpacking. We'll get

a Eurail pass and hit the countryside.

It was one of my biggest regrets

after college.

I went straight to work,

and all my friends did Europe.

Well, I was thinking more like beaches

and 400-thread-count sheets.

- Yeah, everyone does that.

- Well, there's a reason why.

- Hey, guys.

- Hi.

- Are you ready?

- Yeah.

So are there any special requests?

- Well, I'd love to be dipped.

- Oh, well.

That's a fabulous way to finish.

You got any beer? Because after

a couple of drinks, I'm a great dancer.

Yeah, after a couple drinks,

he thinks he's a great dancer.

Don't worry. We'll start simple.

Just relax. We're gonna start with

something called the box step, all right?

Just stay within this imaginary box

on the floor as you lead.

Ready? And one, two, three.

One, two, three. Good.

- Now you try. Wait for the beat.

- Come on.

Okay, that's, like, the cheesiest song ever.

I suppose you prefer

a Springsteen anthem.

- That'd be great.

- Ready?

And, one... No, that's a little too late.

Try again.

A little late. Sorry.

Ready? And, one... Oh, the other foot.

Listen. One, two, three.

And then it hit me.

The beat and Ben

had yet to be introduced.

He can't dance at all.

Not even close.

But wait, hadn't we danced before?

Guess I was too distracted to notice.

- Sorry.

- Okay.

- Five minute break.

- We don't... We don't need a break.

The break is for me.

What are you doing?

Do you not wanna have a first dance?

What I wanna do is go home,

order Chinese, and veg on the couch, okay?

But I'm doing my best.

Yeah, well, what you call your best

I call being difficult.

Difficult? You know what difficult is?

Difficult is having umpteen phone calls

from vendors with wedding questions...

...that I can't answer.

Difficult is having to talk about

the exact same thing every waking moment.

I mean, Sam, we still have to have lives.

Don't put this all on me.

You think I enjoy coming home

to basketball and video games?

Well, I wouldn't be home playing by myself

if you weren't always at work...

...doing who knows what.

The biggest opportunity of my career

has just happened to coincide...

...with me coordinating

the biggest event of my life.

Can you please try

and be sensitive to that?

Fine.

How about I give you one less thing

to coordinate?

Why couldn't Ben understand

that I had to work late?

This was important. It was for...

It was for...

What was I saying?

How about a break.

I'll go pick up some Italian.

What do you say?

I say Caesar salad, no dressing,

and lemon wedges on the side.

All right, coming up.

Hey, Sam, I forgot my keys.

Sam.

Hey, Sam. Sam.

- What, are you sleeping on the job?

- Sorry.

I got the Caesar, and I got the lemons.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

If it's about work, we can take a break.

We got plenty of time.

Was I glad it was a dream?

No, it's not that.

Then, what? You can tell me.

It's the wedding and everything, and...

- Sorry.

- Yeah, me too.

Come here.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

It's all right. I just...

I've gotta go.

I've gotta go home.

Yeah, I gotta go home.

- Hey.

- I'm sorry.

For what?

You know, all the stupid fighting and stuff

we've been doing.

No, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have walked out on you

at the dance lesson.

It's okay.

You don't have to take dance lessons.

You don't have to do anything

you don't wanna do.

I love you.

I love you too.

Okay, let's think. Is it that big of a deal?

What really happened?

I caught myself. I controlled my urges.

Maybe I should be proud of myself.

Or maybe I should be proud of my ability

to rationalize.

I am so glad that we are finally able

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