Confessions Of An American Bride Page #7

your stupid little basketball teams than...

- What, our unborn child?

- Child? Oh, really, so there's just one?

Thank you.

Sometimes in cases like this,

I feel it's my responsibility...

...to suggest a postponement.

What?

What he means is you guys

can use a timeout.

And you know what?

I couldn't agree more.

There's no shame in taking the extra time

to deal with these issues.

Better before a wedding than after.

Do you know how hard it is

to get an interfaith marriage annulled?

Twice the paperwork.

You know what?

To hell with them.

Should you really be saying

to hell with a rabbi and a minister?

Okay, maybe not.

But no one is gonna tell me

who I should or shouldn't marry.

- And we can make this work.

- You think?

Sam, I love you,

and that's what's important.

So let's fix it.

There he was,

clawing his way to the surface.

The prince charming

I had missed for so long.

Maybe he was still there.

Maybe we should go through with this.

Now, I say, let's kick things

into high gear.

Tonight we break out the serving platters,

invite the parents...

...and run down the wedding checklist.

- Yeah.

Of course, there was one teeny detail

Ben was unaware of.

But if he was this determined,

then I would tell him about Luke tonight.

Full disclosure.

After dinner, of course.

We can't put the Stillmans and

the Fogels together. They'll kill each other.

Yeah, Rich borrowed Jerry's snowplow

three years ago. Totally mangled it.

But if you do that, that means the Nolfies

have to sit at the rabbi and minister's table.

Family, friends, others. The hierarchy.

Stillmans are cousins.

Well, the Nolfies are very important

business associates.

- They handle all my direct mailings.

- Direct mailings?

- Lf you want us to pay for the wedding...

- Oh, you're gonna run out?

Mr. Direct Mailing

is worth more than family?

Enough!

Sam has something she wants to say.

Ben and I had a talk this afternoon

and came to a conclusion...

...that the four of you have

sadly proven to be true:

That you'll never agree on anything

having to do with this wedding.

So we've come up

with a simple solution. Ben.

This is what we want.

Get used to it.

For the first time in forever,

I felt like I was part of a couple.

- Yeah, this works.

- I like it. It's gotta work.

Now, who wants some pie?

- Oh, I'll have some.

- Ice cream too.

Come on in, Nancy, it's open.

Hey, Sam. Sam.

I'm sorry to come over like this,

but you weren't answering your cell.

Our designs were approved.

Production is gearing up. We did it.

- They were? It is? We did?

- Yes.

Oh, my gosh.

That's amazing.

- Sam?

- Hey, this is my coworker.

We just... Everything went better

than we thought.

I'm Ben Rosen, Sam's fianc.

Hey, I've heard a lot about you.

I'm Luke Stinson.

Luke.

Excuse me.

Hold on, I just...

Wait here. Have some pie.

Ben?

Ben, is everything okay?

So that's Luke?

Sam, what's going on?

We've been working together since January,

and we've had this proposal...

And you didn't mention

his name to me...

...except, of course,

that one time in bed.

- Ben, please, I can explain...

- Sam, what did you do?

Try to understand.

There's nothing going on

between Luke and me now.

Now?

You mean there was something?

- Did you sleep with him?

- No.

No, I kissed him, okay? I kissed Luke.

Do you have any pie plates?

Later.

But I stopped it,

before it went any further.

I swear to you, it meant nothing.

- Well, then why didn't you tell me?

- I was going to. Tonight, in fact.

But I'm just... I'm stupid.

And believe me, if I could turn it back...

Sam, it's not just the kiss, okay?

You lied to me.

You haven't exactly made it easy

for me to talk to you lately.

- Oh, and this guy you can talk to?

- Well, yes, but we've been...

This isn't about him. It's about us.

You're damn right it's about us.

Okay? I feel like an idiot.

- Ben, we can figure this out.

- Yeah, yeah, sure.

The question is, should we figure it out?

What are you talking about?

Look, Sam, since I've known you,

I've never found it hard to be around you.

Until now.

Look...

...if you don't want me here...

...maybe I can just go

stay with my parents.

Come on, Ben,

say you wanna talk this out.

Yell at me, anything.

Maybe that'd be a good idea.

How did I manage to take what was

a perfect relationship mere months ago...

...and shred it into this?

I kind of feel better.

I mean, do we really not belong together?

I was once so sure...

...but that seems so long ago now.

I wish I could be sure about something.

Anything.

If Ben doesn't want to work it out,

then maybe you shouldn't.

- What you did was questionable...

- Thanks. Need some salt for the wound?

It wasn't unforgivable.

But if he doesn't wanna talk about it,

then maybe you should move on.

Speaking of moving on.

Sam, look, it wasn't my intention

to make a scene.

You said Wednesdays Ben goes out.

I didn't think I'd be interrupting...

No, no, it's my fault. My plans changed.

Is everything okay?

If moving back in with my mom and dad

qualifies as okay, then yeah.

- I'm sorry.

- What are you gonna do.

How about after work I take you out

for dinner? Let me cheer you up.

What's frightening is how great

that offer sounds.

Luke, I should take some time

to clear my head.

All right, Sam, but if you need me,

I'll be there.

Nothing will make you feel more humble

than moving back into your old room at 30.

Nothing, that is, except your mother.

- Samantha.

- Mom, this is hard enough as it is.

- I could do without a lecture.

- Honey, I'm not here to lecture you.

Was Anne's petition

for her sainthood granted?

Wanna tell me now, or should I wait for you

to finish this month's fan club newsletter?

Oh, I thought we'd talk.

You know, like adults.

Yeah, well, kind of hard to do

with Mr. Binky staring at me.

- You think I favor Anne.

- "Think"?

- All right, granted, it may seem that way.

- "Seem"?

Okay, I'm sorry.

- You're what?

- I am sorry.

Know what I see when I look at you?

Yeah, a major screwup.

I see me.

- You?

- Yeah.

More than anyone else,

when I look at you, I see myself.

And if I'm hard on you...

...it's probably just me

being hard on myself...

...on my own imperfections.

Those things you think I hate about you,

those are the things that make you special.

The things that I love more than anything.

And I know that whatever's going on

between you and Ben, you'll figure it out.

- I don't know, Mom.

- Oh, honey.

It's never easy.

Believe me, I know. I've been married

to your dad for 35 years.

But if I can do it, trust me,

you can do it better.

For the first time

in what seemed like forever...

... I felt like I had my mom back.

Then it hit me.

She never really went anywhere.

Relax. You're doing the right thing.

- Am I?

- She cheated on you.

- It was just a kiss.

- Do you know where she kissed him?

Watch it, Alan.

My point is, is that she was cornered

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