Confetti Page #6

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So, Isabelle. Let's have a look at your nose.

- Shall I?

- Yes, please. Can you look in the mirror?

- OK. So...

- I love that nose.

What I see in your nose

is that the dorsum here,

the bridge, is a little bit too wide,

and too flat. OK?

The nose a little bit too short,

and is pointing up too much.

And when I look at you,

I see inside your nostrils.

And I personally don't like that.

Yeah? OK.

Have to check what that country's called.

I don't think it's that.

- That's really all I've got at the moment.

- I just think that's beautiful.

Here we go. So, voil.

That's your basic set, as it were.

- Er, your wedding area.

- Dark, innit?

It'll be lit. Obviously, it's not just this dark.

Here, it's peopled with,

as you described to us before,

about maybe a little canopy of people.

- I don't know what you think...

- It just looks so dark, I don't like it.

- But it'll be lit.

- Is the floor going to be black?

- I'm saying, it'll be lit.

- You don't want black walls and a black floor.

These are star lights all around here.

- Do you?

- No.

- Star lights, like little stars.

- I don't care.

That's a black floor, and it's not right

for a wedding. That's my opinion.

It makes it easier for you

to stand out in whatever, in your white,

or what I thought was using a color.

I just don't like the sound of it.

Well, carry on.

- Thank you. Cheers. Carry on.

- I don't like it at all.

- Matt.

- What if...

Few flowers or something.

Looks like a morgue.

- Flowers don't exist in this theme.

- Yeah.

Busby Berkeley was not full of flowers.

- What are you doing?

- It's about angles. Geometrics. Art Deco.

Shapes, bodies of...

She's nodding. She knows.

What are the lights for?

The great thing about the spotlights

is we'll just see you,

- not people hanging around.

- What's the point in having people then?

Shut the f*** up! Seriously. Shut the f*** up.

- Matt, excuse me.

- Excuse nothing.

- I don't want language like that.

- No, we had this out yesterday.

- You shut up.

- I beg your pardon! Goodness me!

- Who the hell do you think you are?

- We're losing the wedding planners now.

- It's gone pear-shaped.

- It's not gone pear-shaped. You put it...

- Your fault. Not mine. Not Sam's. Not Jen's.

- You put it pear-shaped.

You shouting like as though

you're on a barrow in a market.

If you want to come and see us,

you two, getting married, do.

But we don't need your sister

and your mother, it is not their wedding,

- and we won't do it.

- Sort your sister out. You sort her out.

- Can you leave my house, please?

- It would be an absolute joy.

This green is giving me a headache.

Speaking of headaches...

Stop commenting on my house.

Oh, my godfathers, I tell you what.

I've had it with you.

I've had enough. I've had enough.

- Right. OK. Take care.

- Thank you.

- You need that house, so call us.

- I don't want to talk to her again.

That makes two of us. Thanks a lot.

Thanks for coming over. Safe journey.

Well, that was a waste of time.

That's all we need.

I'm only trying to help. I tell you what, you

might as well pack your f***ing bags and go,

cos you've really upset me this time,

I tell you what.

You won't apologize and repair it this time.

Bugger off.

Matt's gone.

I don't know where he is.

He could be lying on a park bench

somewhere. He's gone because of you.

Cos of the way you behaved yesterday.

Don't say you're worrying about him.

Not after the way he behaved.

Shouting at your sister, shouting at me,

shouting in front of you.

Language like that? No.

He's shouting because

he can't stand it any more.

And I can't stand it any more.

Stand what any more, Sam?

Stand me and Mum trying to help?

Me coming back off a cruise, I'll do the

choreography, be in a dream ballet sequence.

I was so pleased when I heard

you were coming back from the cruise.

I was so excited to see you. And then

you come back and you just try and take over.

It's like you don't trust

that I can do it on my own.

I've had to sit there and watch you and

clap you, with half a flamingo on your head,

Going, "Oh, look at Jen, look at Jen."

And it's my turn now.

I want to have a chance. I want to have

a chance. I want it to be me and Matt.

Me and Matt getting married, loving each

other. Getting married in that spotlight.

Give me one day, just one chance,

to have my day, my wedding day,

and I want you to be there loving me,

and supporting me.

Not making me feel like some idiot.

Hello.

Morning, Matt. Are you well?

Cheers. Thanks a lot.

You're not the first person to turn up here

before a wedding, freaking out.

No. You've just got to accept

the fact that it's a stressful time,

take some time out and look after yourself

and look after her, and don't get so wound up.

You need a bit of me time.

That's what you need.

It's very difficult. There's so much pressure.

Particularly with this...

What is that?

Jesus Christ! What are you...

What are you doing?

Stop it. St...

Sorry, I'd better go and...

It's Julie. Julie Andrews.

Fly, my Romeo, fly.

He's coming down, he's coming down.

Oh!

- Archie, look!

- Aw...

My lovebirds.

That's beautiful.

Oh, Archie.

Just put something on, please.

I'm not gonna get dressed

just because your mother's coming.

- I'll have to go somewhere else.

- It's our room.

When I go to her house,

then I'll put some clothes on.

- Tubsy, darling.

- Mummy, hello.

- How are you, sweetheart?

- Good, thank you. How are you?

I'm fine. What have they done to you, then?

Where have they put you?

- Oh, it's quite nice.

- It is nice.

Sweetheart, you're looking thinner.

Well done, that's excellent.

Right. Well, I've had a long day,

so it's lovely to be here.

There you are, sweetie.

- Hello.

- Oh, hello.

Mrs. Roberts. Well, I suppose now

I should call you Mum, really, shouldn't I?

- Erm...

- Pleasant trip?

Oh, my God.

Look at them.

- That is ridiculous.

- We're f***ed.

That is absolutely ridiculous.

'Ere, move over.

I'm almost on these chairs here.

You ready, Mum?

See, I don't know where Matt's coming from.

Is that him? Is that us, Jenny? Is this us?

- Five, six, seven, eight, go.

- Go.

Lower the arm.

- God.

- What's he doing here?

Oh, no, I don't believe...

How come he knew about it? Who's been

talking to him, that's what I want to know.

- Well, Matt obviously knew about it.

- I could have been warned.

You all right? Don't get upset, Mum, don't

get upset, cos then it's like he's winning.

All right, Dave?

You never said.

I wasn't sure if he was gonna come,

but I'm glad. Shall we get on?

Well, it would have been nice if you could

have told me your dad was going to be here.

- Sorry.

- Is he going to be dancing?

- Yeah.

- No.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Up! Down! Up! Down!

- Up, two, three...

- Go!

One, two, three, four!

And run. Good, very good. Perfect.

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

- One, two...

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