Corky Romano Page #2

Wait, wait.

Let me talk to him.

Look, kid, think of this

as your chance to make amends.

You know

you broke your pop's heart...

when you turned your back

on the family business.

I didn't turn my back. They

kicked me out after mom died.

Irregardless, what matters now

is your family needs you.

What do you say, kid?

Paulie, you get another DUl

you need fixed?

No, I need you to send

something to the FBl.

Can you handle that?

Peter,

look who you're talking to.

I got a 120-gig hard drive...

and a digital connection

NASA would envy.

Whoa!

Is that one of those epsons...

you can print

greeting cards on?

Shut up, Corky.

OK, tell me exactly

what you need.

I need you

to plant Corky here...

with the FBI station

in Park Realm.

Set him up with a fake

background, name, and resume.

And it better be a good one...

because if they don't

accept his transfer...

I'm personally

going to download...

500 megabytes

of my fist up your ass.

Uh, technically,

you'd be uploading that.

But, you know, not

that I'm a computer whiz...

or anything, because I'm not.

Just do the right thing,

Dexter.

I don't want

to have to kill you.

Come on.

Let's settle down, huh?

All right.

What should his name be?

I really don't care

what you call him, Pissant.

Come on, guys.

For my resume,

I'm very good with animals.

Thanks.

If you're going to keep

hanging out with us...

could you at least

try and carry yourself...

a little bit more like us,

please?

Oh, you mean with unmitigated

rage and violence?

Look, stop trying to talk

like mom, all right?

You're too soft.

You complimented that guy

on his equipment...

and then you thanked him

for his time.

I mean, Christ, Corky,

you might as well give him...

a glass of wine

and a handshake.

Are you guys familiar

with the expression...

"you catch more bees

with honey than vinegar"?

You know that one.

Ow! Ow! Ouch!

What is your problem?

Paulie,

where the hell is this place?

- I don't know.

- What place?

The motel.

But I thought I was staying

in the house in my old room.

- You can't stay in the house.

- Why not?

Well, a couple of reasons.

Number one, the house

is under surveillance.

Number two, we turned

your old room into a gym...

and threw out all your sh*t.

I thought I was going to-

God, what is-

Why did-

why did you do that?

- Shut up.

- Listen to your brother.

All right,

pull down your pants.

No.

Corky, I'm not going

to give you a wedgie.

I'm going to put a wire on you.

It's Uncle Leo's idea...

in case you get

in over your head in there.

Let's go. Pull down your pants.

Let's go.

- Hey.

- Come on!

- Stop that.

- Knock it off!

OK. I'm sorry.

Move your hands.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

All right,

give me a sound check.

Go ahead.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

How I wonder where you are

All right, we're good.

We're good. That's good.

- B-i-n-g-

- We're good.

OK. All right.

When you get in there,

keep a low profile.

Don't prance around like

the goddamn Little Mermaid.

In and out.

No bullshit. Got it?

All right, you better walk

the rest of the way.

You know what this

kind ofreminds me of?

When I was younger,

and mom dropped me off...

at Camp Young and Chubby

for overweight teens.

And I was crying,

because I didn't want to go...

but at the end of the summer...

I was crying because

I didn't want to leave.

Isn't it weird...

how thingsjust kind of

work out that way?

Fifty bucks says he doesn't

make it through the front door.

There's a man

who leads a life of danger

To everyone he meets

he stays a stranger

With every move he makes...

Sir, spread your arms, please.

Odds are he won't live

to see tomorrow...

Could you empty your pockets,

please, sir?

Pull me out!

Empty your pockets,

please, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't

realize you were an agent.

I didn't know

you were with the bureau.

Yes, I am with the bureau.

Ahem. I'm sorry. I just-

I had a little too much coffee.

I'm just a little wired.

Aah!

I mean "wired" as in "jumpy. "

I don't mean "wired"...

as in there's a concealed wire

in my crotch.

I mean, an FBI agent

wearing a concealed wire...

in his crotch-I mean,

that would be crazy, right?

Right?

You can go now, agent.

I will go now. Thank you.

Excuse me.

I had a small confrontation

at the checkpoint...

but don't worry.

I kept a cool head...

and I eradicated

any possible suspicions.

Agent Pissant?

Ah!

Yes. Hi. Uh...

Oh, actually, that's, uh...

that's Pissant.

Well, the transfer came

through at an opportune time.

We could use someone

with your experience...

on our special task force.

Ooh!

A special task force, huh?

That's right.

An elite team I've assembled-

the best of the best...

exclusively devoted

to catching the Night Vulture.

Night Vulture?

Number six

on the most wanted list.

The biggest heroin supplier

on the east coast...

not to mention

the most sadistic.

Grr!

The last four guys

that pissed him off...

ended up

with their genitals severed.

I asked the coroner

about the weapon.

He says there was none.

That son of a b*tch

did it with his bare hands.

Oh.

I'm Agent Howard Shuster,

station director.

Hi.

This is Brick Davis,

senior agent...

and my right hand man.

Agent Pissant.

Uh, actually,

that's, uh...

it's Pissant.

It's-it's-

You know, it's French.

Davis

is the best man in his field.

Right now,

he's about to take down...

the city's most dangerous

crime boss.

We're all but guaranteed

a conviction.

That's just one down.

By the time I'm finished...

the whole family

will be injail.

I'vejust been

reviewing your resume.

Quite impressive,

but a degree from Harvard...

three commendations

for bravery...

and an olympic medal

for sharpshooting...

won't get you

out of the trenches.

We need all hands on deck

around here.

Good day.

Good day.

Sir? Thank you.

Nice tie.

Thank you.

It should give

some lucky sniper...

a nice target to aim for.

Probably, huh?

Just go. Go.

I want to go home.

- What happened?

- Have you seen my resume?

It says I know

five different languages.

I'm an expert sharpshooter.

I'm a black belt

in something called...

gyoing gyoing gyoing

something?

So the hacker

went a little crazy.

Ah, none of this sh*t matters.

Just go in there

and get the evidence.

Then you can go back

to giving hamsters enemas...

or whatever the hell you do.

- No!

- Get in there.

- No, I don't wanna!

- Get in there!

No, I don't wanna let go!

I don't wanna!

I don't wanna let go!

All right. OK, OK.

Put me down. Put me down.

Come here.

Come here, God-

All right, forget about it,

Paulie. This is pointless.

You know what?

We're going to have to have...

an ambulance standing by...

for when we break the news

to papa.

OK. I'll do it.

I'm sorry.

Which way to the evidence room?

Thank you.

Hi.

You must be Pissant.

Yeah. Actually, that's...

It's Pissant.

It's-it's French.

I'm Russo, part of

the Night Vulture task force.

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