Corner Gas: The Movie Page #6

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Come on.

Here's another one.

Come on, jump the fence!

Ah!

You lazy horse!

D.R.P.D.

There's a prowler in my barn.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to d-o-o-o!

I'll be right there.

What's your address?

Come on!

Whoa, Socks, whoa!

Attaboy.

Freeze!

Davis?

What are you doing here?

Well, I got wind of a B&E.

- How?

- I keep my ear to the ground.

More like "ear to the vent. "

Be right there.

What's your address?

I don't know

what you're talking about.

You've got grille marks

on your cheek.

You can't run around interfering in

police business.

- You're not a cop.

- I used to be.

And now I'm doing something

way better.

And people like me.

You're saying

people don't like me?

"Ticket Witch" isn't

a very flattering nickname.

And they don't use

the word "witch. "

I'm just doing my job,

like a real cop,

which I never was

under your command.

All we did was nap

and play games.

Oh!

Why are you in my barn?

You called the police.

Um, no.

Hyah!

Come on!

There we go!

Come on!

Off you go, Scope!

Oscar, get back here!

"I don't know what to do!

I don't know what to do!"

Well, that's unfortunate.

- Need a lift?

- Yes.

Well, good luck with that.

You want to buy our house?

I represent a client who does.

Even though the town

has a broken water pump,

no power, no money?

Yes.

Your client, is he a drinker?

Well, so, there's an offer price on the

back of this card.

- Just think it over and call me.

- Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa!

Whoa! Whoa, whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Is he all right?

I wouldn't say so, no.

Sorry I'm late.

I was watching

a Noam Chomsky documentary.

Closed my eyes for one minute.

Next thing you know,

David Suzuki's

talking about salamanders.

So what's the deal

with "Wanda's Booze Box"?

Who squealed?

Squealed? What?

It's on your shirt.

Damn it.

So sleepy, I forgot to change.

Ugh.

Whoa!

I'm sorry, you guys,

but I thought I said

the meeting was at 4:00.

It Was.

We had an emergency meeting

at 3:
00.

We took a vote, and you're out.

What?

You're too bossy.

Because I'm the boss!

You can't kick me out.

Quaintification is my thing.

Actually, it's the town's thing.

It's going to happen

without you.

Well, that's fine,

if that's the way you feel.

Good luck

with your plywood bums.

Lacey.

I hope you know that had nothing to do

with me.

I fought hard for you.

I nominate Emma

for committee leader.

That could not have come

at a worse time.

We still on for dinner?

I'm out there

busting my brains out

trying to manage two businesses, all so

I can save this town,

and you're pulling drinkers

away from me.

No.

I'm just pulling a few...

Okay. Yes, I am.

But that wasn't my intent.

I'm just desperate

to make Tanner's tuition.

I'm sorry.

Well, all right.

Apology accepted.

But you've got to promise me

no more Booze Box.

I promise.

Welcome, everybody,

to The Silver Dollard Casino.

You spelled "dollar" wrong.

It's my last name, dorkus.

Listen up.

There's no more booze.

I'm sorry,

but I made a promise.

But on the plus side,

coffee and pop is only 5 bucks.

House rake is 10%.

Let's shuffle up and deal!

Hi.

You must be the owner here.

Well, I should be, yes.

Well, I'm Sasha,

and I was wondering

if you are interested

in maybe selling your home.

My company would make it

worth your while.

Oh. No, I'm kind of attached

to my man... woman cave, so...

A second ago,

you called it a casino.

- Did I?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, I'm really not interested in

selling,

and this is a private party,

so, uh, hit the bricks, toots.

Gentlemen, start your wagers, and

somebody crank the music!

Come on.

There's more

of that good green stuff.

Just step in the loopy thing.

This is your lucky day, Bugsy.

Sounds like I got

bigger fish to fry.

Jumpin' Judy!

I thought you were a bear.

A Care Bear, judging by the look of that

bow.

"Hunger Games. "

Starter set.

I suppose you're wondering

what I'm doing.

Not really. I'm just gonna assume it's

something brilliant

and move on.

I just came by to see if I could borrow

some of your tools.

I need to do some repairs

at the bar.

Help yourself. I'm good

with my Dutch Army Knife.

23 tools right here.

I count 24.

Do the Dutch even have an army?

Oh, who cares?

This baby does the job,

and it's way cheaper

than that Swiss thing.

Greedy Swiss.

Well, as fun as this is,

I got to get going.

Oh, by the way,

Karen wanted me to tell you

that she took your horse.

I don't even know

why you have a horse.

I'm just gonna lump it in

with all this other magic.

Took my horse?!

That...

Ohh!

Was that so hard?!

Oh, hey, Mom.

I'm with Dad.

Just hangin'.

That would be really funny

if you were here,

because he's act...

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll be right there.

Later, Rambo.

Mom says it's urgent.

Hey, hey!

I could use a little help here!

Use your Norwegian Navy Knife.

It's Dutch!

The Norwegians are useless!

So, you getting any takers?

Not yet,

but they'll come around.

First one to panic will sell

and start an avalanche.

It's a shame, really.

Nice little town.

Well, yeah, but we're

in the doughnut business,

not the "save our town" business.

These people

would have to be total idiots

not to see this place is doomed.

It's just too bad there wasn't some

other place to monopolize.

Coffee-shop lady's cute.

So offer her a job.

Let's go see if we can get ahold of the

town plans.

CN Holdings?

Why would the rail road

want to buy your house?

I don't know.

I don't want to sell, but there may

never be another buyer.

Can we afford

to miss this chance?

Just don't do anything yet.

Are you sure?

I mean, you might have to move.

Someplace nice

with a special someone.

Did I mention Lacey's coming

for dinner?

Just don't sell the house, okay?

If everything goes wrong,

I'll buy it.

I'll match their offer.

Oh.

Town hall's closed.

Something I can help you with?

Yeah, uh, we were hoping

we could get a look

at the town plans.

I could get you in there...

for a fee.

I'm a detective.

Hey, Jerome!

Come here.

Oh. Look, uh, if this is

about the franchise fee,

- I really can't help you.

- No, that's all good.

I just thought

you might be interested

in looking at another place

to set up shop.

I mean, an even better place.

Oh.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

I mean, if there was ever

a place that deserved you guys,

it's this one.

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum

bum bum bum

Our idiot son

left me hanging in a tree.

And Karen stole my horse.

Thanks!

It's nice to hear

some good news.

Please?

Lookit, you...

you have to reconsider.

Without power, our town

doesn't stand a chance.

Your town's a bad risk.

You have to pay

outstanding debt first.

Isn't there something

that you can do?

We have these nifty 3-D magnets I can

send you.

Turn them at an angle, little light bulb

goes on and off.

How would that even...

Ohh.

Bunch of red tape

and bureaucratic bullcrap.

Oh, my God, I'm starting

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