Corner Gas: The Movie Page #7

---

to sound like Oscar.

What's this?

There are other ways

to get power from the grid.

OtherWaysToGetPowerFromTheGrid.

Com.

Is that even legal?

Well, it depends how you

define "legal," but... no.

By the way, where in town

are they setting up

the new Goff-Nuts?

Oh, that's dead.

I killed it.

- Huh?

- Mm-hmm.

Well, then how come

that Jerome guy

wanted to look at

the town plans?

- He did?

- Mm-hmm.

And then Hank showed up, and then they

drove off somewhere.

Where?

Will you find him for me?

I'll pay you.

All right.

And so begins the case of

"Where Did Hank Take That Guy?"

Great.

- Can it begin now?

- Mm-hmm.

NOW!

Okay, okay.

- Bossy.

- What?

I am not.

ORB'!-

Wullerton?

- Are you sure?

- Yep.

Hank bought some oil,

and then off they went.

Good to know.

Good to know.

Hey, Wanda.

Detective.

Officer.

- Can I help you with something?

- Maybe.

I'm hearing rumors about

illegal gambling in town.

You two know anything

about that?

No.

But I am shocked and disgusted that this

is happening.

I mean, if it's happening.

I mean, these are rumors, right?

Yeah, rumors.

Detective?

What's the word on the vent?

Seriously, if there was a sniff of a

wager in this town,

I would know.

My friends would tell me.

Well, that's good enough for me.

I trust this man's instincts 100%.

ORB'!-

Either of you know anything about where

Oscar took my horse?

- He took your horse again?

- Yeah.

Just now, apparently.

Mr. Sandman

Bring me a dream

Bum bum bum bum

So, uh, here it is.

- Amazing, huh?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

It's got everything, right?

You know, shops, uh, you know, trees,

over there, uh...

Oh, look at that.

A church-looking thing there.

Yep.

Everything but a Goff-Nuts.

Are you okay?

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah.

No, I'm... I'm just, uh...

sickened... by how much better this town

is than ours.

Excuse me. Hi!

I don't mean to interrupt.

But we're putting on

a choir recital fundraiser,

and we have two tickets left.

It would be so great

to sell it out.

Oh, we're not interested

in any...

Here you go.

There you go.

Glad we could help.

It's starting soon.

We'll get you seated.

Here.

Yeah. Go ahead.

I'm right behind you.

A recital in a dark hall surrounded by

pure evil.

Hello, stranger.

Davis!

What are you doing here?

You smoke?

I was gonna

ask you the same thing.

Not the smoke thing.

The other thing.

I'm trying to get Jerome

to open up a Goff-Nuts here

so he wrecks this place

instead of Dog River.

Do you know what they want

with the town plans?

Town plans?

No.

But I heard Jerome

and that lady talking,

and it didn't sound good.

I mean, I should probably go

in there and try to find out,

but... I'm scared, Davis.

That place is full of...

People from Wullerton.

And they're singing.

Let's get the hell out of here and

figure this out at home.

Yeah.

CN Transport.

CN Tower.

C&C Music Factory.

Aw, come on!

Give me a break!

Oh. Thanks.

Okay. CN Holdings.

Oh. Hello.

Oh, for the love of Pete!

I can't believe

you missed dinner.

Huh? Oh.

Oh, my God.

I missed a dinner.

What have I become?

I know you're under stress, but this

meal was important to me.

I'm sorry, Mom.

My mind is a million

different places.

I'm up to my keister in debt, maybe even

more.

My keister's pretty low.

And look at this place.

It's dead.

Yet you can sit around

playing with your computer.

Well, this isn't "Angry Candy"

or "Birds with Friends. "

I'm doing research

on CN Holdings.

Hey, guys!

Whoa! The power's back on!

What is up with that?

And just where the hell

were you?

Nowhere near there.

Oh, Emma.

Dinner.

Oh, I'm...

I'm so sorry I forgot.

I was, um...

Oh, man. You know what?

I can't tell you where I was.

But the power's on.

And isn't that great?

You two are unbelievable.

I hope you have a good life.

And don't even try to stop

by the Leroys' for leftovers.

There aren't any.

No leftovers?

Damn it.

Brent, the lights are back on. The

power's on.

I made it happen.

And I did it... illegally.

Oh.

L- I'm a criminal now.

And you're whispering

because you think

the place might be bugged?

Hey, listen, speaking

of criminal activity,

there's something weird

going on around town.

There's a company

named CN Holdings

that's going door to door, offering to

buy people's houses.

Who's CN Holdings?

They're a subsidiary

of Goff-Nuts, Incorporated.

They handle all

the real-estate transactions

for the Goff-Nuts franchise.

But why would they

be buying houses?

This is unbelievable.

What are you thinking?

If it was just my mom,

how can there be no leftovers?

Focus!

Bum bum bum bum bum

Would you like

some lemonade, sirs?

We're raising money

for the less fortunate.

Right, right.

Let me guess.

Your name's Les,

and your name's Fortunate.

Seriously,

it's for a good cause.

Oh, sure.

Cause you want the money.

You two sure are good

at wordplay.

Is there a problem here?

Let's get the hell out of here.

More like, "Let's get out

of the hell here. "

Enough with the wordplay.

Let's go!

Fitzy?

Hey!

Hey, I think I just saw Fitzy!

Davis!

Holy hell!

What happened to your face?

I'm a gumshoe.

Danger comes with the territory.

- What do you want?

- Karen stole my horse again.

I want to hire you to follow her and get

my horse back.

Oscar, we've already

been through this...

I'm willing to pay you

this time,

but I want a seniors discount.

I'll give you 10 bucks now...

- Hey.

- There she is.

No, I found her!

Wait!

Give me my money back!

I think I saw Fitzy.

- What was Fitzy doing there?

- I don't know.

I mean, I was pretty focused on saving

the Ruby and Dog River.

Which you almost destroyed

in the first place.

Lacey, could you

please tell Brent

that I refuse to speak to him

until he apologizes for screwing over

his once best friend?

Apologize?

For what?

Your lousy memory

or your delusions of grandeur?

Lacey, could you

please ask Brent

to leave my grandeur

out of this?

All right, you know what?

Just stop it, both of you!

We need to focus on

what Goff-Nuts and CN Holdings

are planning for Dog River.

To turn it into

a Western Divisional Depot.

I just got a ride home

from some very friendly people from

Wullerton.

[All spit 1

Very kind of... creepy friendly.

They are creepy, aren't they?

Yeah.

What happened to your face?

Never mind his face.

What's going on'?

Dog River just happens to be

a nice geographical hub

for western Canada.

CN Holdings plans to buy up the town and

use the infrastructure

for a huge factory

and storage facility.

What?

That's like cartoon evil.

You weasel in the grass.

I knew that you were up to no good the

first time I met you.

Wait a minute.

The only reason I'm here

is because Hank called me.

I'm not scheming

to ruin your little town.

Lacey told me

Dog River was dead.

That's the only reason

I called my bosses.

I like you people.

Personally, I hope you win this whole

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes