Crash Page #2

- Good night.

- We'll see you tomorrow.

I would like the locks

changed again in the morning.

And you might mention

that we'd appreciate it

if next time they didn't send

a gang member.

- A gang member? You mean that kid in there?

- Yes, yes.

Yes. The guy with the shaved head,

the pants around his ass, the prison tattoo.

- Those are not prison tattoos.

- Oh, really?

And he's not gonna sell our key

to one of his gangbanger friends

- the moment he is out our door?

- We've had a tough night.

- lt'd be best if you went upstairs...

- And wait for them to break in?

I just had a gun pointed in my face.

You lower your voice!

And it was my fault

because I knew it was gonna happen.

But if a white person sees two black men

walking towards her,

and she turns and walks in the other direction,

she's a racist, right?

Well, I got scared

and I didn't say anything.

And ten seconds later

I had a gun in my face!

I am telling you. Your amigo in there is gonna

sell our key to one of his homies.

And this time it'd be really f***ing great

if you acted like you actually gave a sh*t!

All right, what have we got?

Talk to me, Karen.

Flanagan doesn't think

anybody has the story yet.

I'm the goddamn

District Attorney of Los Angeles.

If my car gets jacked,

it's gonna make news.

F***!

Why did these guys

have to be black?

I mean, why?

No matter how we spin this,

I'm either gonna lose the black vote

or I'm gonna lose the law-and-order vote.

You're worrying too much. You have

a lot of support in the black community.

All right. If we can't duck this thing,

we're gonna have to neutralize it.

What we need is a picture of me

pinning a medal on a black man.

Bruce?

The firefighter.

The one who saved the camp or something.

Northridge. What's his name?

He's lraqi.

He's lraqi?

Well, he looks black.

He's dark-skinned, sir, but he's lraqi.

His name's Saddam Khahum.

Saddam?

His-His name's Saddam?

That's real good, Bruce. I'm gonna pin a medal

on an lraqi named Saddam.

Give yourself a raise, will you?

It's been good

doing business with you.

- How soon can I have them?

- I'm picking them up right now.

Look, you're not listening to me.

This is an emergency.

I keep telling you he's in pain.

He can't sleep.

Mr. Ryan, your father has been to the clinic

three times in the last month.

He is being treated for a urinary tract infection.

That is by no means an emergency.

If you have any more questions

about your HMO plan, why don't you

make an appointment to come in between

1 0:
.00 and 4:.00, Monday through Friday.

What does my father do

about sleeping tonight?

I don't know.

I'm not a doctor.

- I wanna talk to your supervisor.

- I am my supervisor!

- What is your name?

- Shaniqua Johnson.

Shaniqua.

Big f***ing surprise that is.

Bronson Avenue, WestWood.

Vehicle is described as a black

late-model Lincoln Navigator.

California plate

4 Peter Charles lda 31 5.

Suspects are tWo black males,

approximately 20 years of age.

That's not it.

That's not the vehicle, John.

The plates don't match.

The driver's gotta be 40. Nobody jacks a car

and takes it to Studio City.

They were doin' something.

Enthusiastic.

Keep your hands

where I can see 'em, please.

I'm gonna need to see

your driver's license and registration.

No problem.

I'm gonna have to reach inside the glove

compartment to get the registration.

- Is that okay?

- Nice and slow, please.

Okay.

How are you tonight, Officer?

Excellent.

Here you go.

Stay inside the vehicle, please.

Let's do it again right now.

Step outta the car, please, sir.

Wait a minute, Officer.

I haven't been drinking or anything.

Then we shouldn't have a problem.

He doesn't drink.

He's a Buddhist, for Christ's sake.

No, it's okay.

It's fine.

Step onto the sidewalk, sir.

That's good. Right there.

Look at me.

I want you to stand

on your right foot.

Touch your nose

with the index finger of your left hand.

I told you he doesn't drink.

Ma'am, I'm only gonna tell you

one time to stay in the vehicle.

- Ma'am?

- Honey, honey, I'm okay. I got this.

Don't you "ma'am" me. Who the hell

do you think you're talking to?

Look, Officer, my wife

has had a couple of drinks--

Both of you, turn around. Put your hands on

top of your head and interlock your fingers.

Wait. We're only a block away from our house.

Hands on your head.

Interlock your fingers.

- Hands on your head. Interlock your fingers.

- I'm a television director.

Me and my wife were just coming home

from an awards show.

Take your hands off him.

He's done nothing wrong.

Put your hands on top

of your head, ma'am.

- Do what he says.

- F*** you!

Put your hands...

And you keep

your filthy f***ing hands off me!

You motherfucking pig!

- Just stop talking!

- That's quite a mouth you have.

Of course you know that.

F*** you! That's what

this is all about, isn't it?

You thought you saw a white woman blowin' a

black man. That drove your cracker ass crazy.

Will you just shut

your f***ing mouth!

I'd listen to your husband, ma'am.

Put your legs open.

Do you have any guns or knives

or anything I might get stuck with?

I'm wearing a cocktail dress.

What do you think?

You'd be surprised some of the places

I've found weapons.

He's clean.

What do you think we should do about this,

Mr. Thayer?

My partner and I just witnessed your wife

performing fellatio on you

while you were operating

a motor vehicle.

That's reckless endangerment,

which incidentally is a felony.

We could charge your wife with lewd conduct

and performing a sexual act in public.

You say you're a block from home.

We could use our discretion

and let you go with a warning,

or we could cuff you and put you

in the back of the car.

What do you think

we should do, sir?

Look, we're sorry, and

we would appreciate if you would just

let us go with a warning, please.

The man's apologizing, Tommy.

I think we can let him go.

Don't you?

Yeah.

All right.

You can go.

You folks

drive safe now, huh?

Let's go, Tommy.

It won't close.

I can do that.

Dad, you couldn't even get it open.

Have respect for your father.

Give me the gun!

Here. Now you can shoot

anybody you want.

Dorri, that man

could've killed your mother.

You think I should let crazy people

do what they want to us?

Farhad, it won't close.

Dorri, you should be at work.

Who are you calling?

I'm gonna report their asses.

Sons of b*tches.

You actually believe they're gonna take

anything you have to say seriously?

Do you have any idea how that felt?

To have that pig's hands all over me?

And you just stood there!

And then you apologized to him?

What did you want me to do?

Get us both shot?

They were gonna shoot us

on Ventura Boulevard! Pathetic.

Well, maybe you would've been satisfied

with just being arrested.

Oh, I get it. Much better to let him

shove his hand up my crotch

than get your name in the paper.

You finally got me

figured out, 'cause see,

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