Crazy Bitches Page #2

Honey, there's ice

tea in the back hatch,

would you be a dear

and get that for me?

Darlin', I'll do anything

you want in your back hatch.

Is the cancer back?

Minnie, stop

intuiting me, I'm fine.

Is that why you

didn't want me to come?

You didn't want me to

know the cancer was back?

Alice told me you were

working at the farm sanctuary,

so I just figured

you couldn't make it.

But I'm glad you could.

Oh, can you put

that in the kitchen?

Don't have to ask me twice.

I got it.

Wanna share?

In your dreams.

The only other option

is the bunkhouse, Taylor.

The what?

There's a bunkhouse.

I talked BJ into staying in the

teepee with me, so that's taken.

Geez, I'm like this

close to just bagging

all of you and just

checking into the spa.

I'll share.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Coming through.

You're like a tall drink

of water with a great ass.

Anyone ever tell

you that recently?

Really, you're actually trying?

Hey Princess, get this cake,

let's get the party started.

Okay!

Oh, hello!

Right, we have to

stop meeting like...

Pretty hair.

Thank you.

You're not so bad your...

Shhh.

Wanna grab my dick?

Oh!

Come on!

You're, you are something else!

Swear, you're like

a b*tch in heat, girl.

Well takes one to know one.

Dorri, are you okay?

Um, yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Thanks.

Here.

Dinner will be ready soon.

Okay, thanks.

Dinner's almost ready.

Can I borrow the

loo for a minute?

Uh, sure, I'm done.

Um, dinner will be ready soon.

Great, I'm starving, thank you.

Minnie, will you get the salad?

Yup, got it.

The evening starts innocently.

The Alpha Kappa Pi girls

back together again.

Unaware of the evil

spirits that haunt the...

BJ, here, catch!

Hey, b*tch, watch the camera!

Cassie!

God...

Stay away from the pot

with that gook in your hair.

I don't know what gook

is, this is conditioner.

I don't care what you call it,

I don't want it in

my spaghetti sauce.

Oh my God, you can

borrow it if you want.

It really helps with

limp, lifeless hair.

I beg your pardon?

Why would you

say that, Princess?

We all have things

we wish were better.

I mean my hair's never

recovered from the chemo.

You wanna talk about my hair?

I was only joking.

No you weren't.

Just make yourself useful.

Okay Minnie, I have to ask

since Alice isn't here yet, what

is going on with her and Eddie?

Last time I saw them,

all they did was argue.

They're okay, Eddie's just

had a lot of pressure at work.

Uh oh, we all know how Eddie

likes to work off his stress.

BJ, seriously,

Eddie loves Alice.

That hasn't stopped

him in the past.

You would know,

wouldn't you, Princess?

Well they were barely dating.

Anyway, Alice didn't even know.

The whole house knew, Princess,

including Alice, she

just forgave you.

We did.

Well that was eons ago

when I was young and puerile.

That means childishly

silly and trivial, Taylor.

Well then why didn't

you just say that?

Cheers, everyone.

Cheers.

Amen!

L'chaim!

That was a good dinner.

I can do this, I know I can.

I don't think you can.

I can, I know I can.

Hey guys, has anybody

heard from Viviana?

Oh yeah, I'm sorry, I

thought she cc'd everyone.

She's not gonna make it,

something came up at work.

Oh, really, that's weird.

Oh shoot, shoot!

Princess, can I have the towel

quick before it

goes to the floor?

Oh my...

Oh my God.

Oh my gosh.

We did not do that.

That's not wine, that's blood.

I knew it.

What are you

guys all staring at, move.

I knew there had to

be something to your story, BJ.

I just feel darkness

in this house.

Wait, what story?

This place is supposed to be

haunted by the souls of

seven murdered girls.

It's a fantastic story.

I'm doing an episode about

it on my show right now.

In fact, why didn't I

think of this before?

This is the perfect environment.

Why are you still dumping

finances into that money suck?

You've got no advertisers,

barely any audience.

Green is an ugly

color on you, Taylor,

and I make plenty of money, and

plenty of people

watch, how do you

think I get

investors interested?

We all know how you get

investors interested, BJ.

And it's not the business plan.

I am hurt and insulted.

No you're not.

Takes one to know one.

Sticks and stones.

Can we talk about

more pleasant things, please?

I really am not up for a

story about murdered children.

Sorry, Dorri, this is

too good of an opportunity.

Okay, gather round, girls.

I have got a story to tell.

15 years ago, there was a family

of mom, dad, and two girls.

The 'rents, they head

out for the weekend,

and little girlie

decides to throw

a pajama party with all

her little teenage friends.

Dear mystic board.

This table's a mess.

Shaeda!

Mother always says it's

hard to replace good help.

Your other maid was

at least decent,

too bad she took

that nasty tumble off the cliff.

If only she'd have obeyed orders.

Yeah, and then

she leaves us with

her little b*tch.

I don't know what

my bleeding heart

parents were thinking

adopting her.

Between her and that,

what's his name,

the guy whose parents

take care of the ranch?

I wouldn't care to know.

Oh whatever, it doesn't matter.

But between them,

they're turning

my life into a trailer

trash nightmare.

So it's night,

and the girls, they...

They wake up to this

awful screaming.

They rush down to see where

the noise is coming from...

And they find one of

their friends dead.

Her implants cut

out of her body,

and one of them stuffed

down her throat.

The other one gone,

completely gone.

A trophy, they think.

A teenager with breast implants?

That's just not right.

It gives the girl

the wrong message

that her worth is connected to

her body, not her

mind and heart.

Really, there should

be a law against that.

Not the point,

Minnie, focus please!

So the girls try

to bolt, but the

only car there has

its tires slashed,

the house phone

is dead, so there

is no way to call for help.

So the girls, they

huddle in the teepee

and they use the fire pit

to send SOS signals by fire.

Okay, seriously,

BJ, smoke signals?

Hush, Taylor!

Go ahead, BJ.

So the girls lock themselves

in the house and wait for help.

Still, one by one, each one of

the girls dies a gruesome death.

And with each, the

killer takes a trophy.

A lock of hair, an

eyeball, things,

it turns out, that each girl

was most stuck up about.

They realized they

aren't safe anywhere,

so the remaining

girls, they take

their chances and they

hike up to the main gate.

Only one of them ever

made it out alive.

And they found her

mumbling incoherently,

her little feet

bleeding from running

barefoot through the forest.

And the only other

person to disappear

was the ranch hand's son.

Popular rumor is

that he's actually

the killer, you know they found

traces of his blood

in the forest,

but they never found the body.

And some townspeople

believe that

he, or his ghost,

is still out there.

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