Crazy Kind of Love Page #3

Henry.

Let me talk to him.

Are we enemies now?

We're not anything now.

I didn't leave you. I left your

mother. You're too young to understand.

You're right. You didn't do anything

wrong. You're f***ing perfect.

Can we talk about this, please?

You lied to me.

Yes. I'm sorry.

What can I do to fix it?

Hey...

Where are you going?

Hey, come here.

Wow.

Your dad is

a really good artist.

Yeah. Yeah, he is.

What's wrong?

I saw my dad today with Marion.

I used to love to come in here

as a kid and watch him paint.

Did you make that?

With my dad.

It's okay to remember the things

that you liked about him.

I don't want to remember.

Matthew? I've got

your birthday cake.

It's gluten-free

with non-dairy frosting.

Happy birthday

Happy, happy birthday

Happy birthday

Happy birthday, Matt

Fine, I'll blow out

your candles.

Don't worry.

I made you a really good wish.

Got some pizza.

Did Matthew like his cake?

Okay, seriously?

He's got some issues.

And I know it's not like

you don't know.

I just don't understand how

he can be getting his PhD...

and not be able to have a

conversation without shitting himself.

Shouldn't Harvard

have fixed that by now?

He's been like that

since he was a little boy.

Does your mother know that

you're living here?

Yeah. I just don't want to live

with her. She's a little unstable.

- And I'm the pillar of sanity?

- But you have your reasons.

I mean, she does, too...

but the guys she has picked since my

dad left are so frickin' foul, it's...

Where's your father?

Last I heard, Tennessee.

He doesn't exactly

keep in touch.

What is that?

That's Henry. He's smashing

stuff in the studio.

Why?

He's trying to figure

some things out.

Hey.

Can I come in?

Yeah.

I brought you some coffee.

Thanks.

Are you okay?

I just need to clear my head.

Okay.

I invited over a potential girlfriend

for Matthew for dinner tonight...

so they will probably need our

help in the conversation department.

I'm just going to stay

out here for a while.

Hey.

I was just pruning out

the dead limbs.

Stimulates growth.

I'm a professional.

Do you have a cigarette

I can borrow?

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Take the whole pack.

- Do you have a lighter?

- Yeah.

Good catch.

Your first time?

Yeah.

Who are you, anyway?

I'm Jeff.

Thanks, Jeff.

You're welcome.

- Hi!

- Hi!

I brought my famous

green tea pudding.

Awesome! Just put it in the kitchen

over there. I'll go grab Matthew.

I really think you two

are going to hit it off.

- I hope so.

- Yay!

Did Bette tell you about our vegan

bargain points down at the store?

Oh, yeah.

Ten percent of every vegan item

goes to Guatemalan orphans...

who lost their village due to

capitalist rape of their habitat.

Did I tell you that Matthew

is getting his Ph. D.?

- Oh, wow.

- Yeah.

It's chemistry, right, Matthew?

Yes. Chemistry. Organic. Carbon

and oxygen based... compounds.

That is fantastic.

You could invent a new fuel and save

us all from blood-soaked petroleum.

Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Why don't you take Annie to the

farmers' market this weekend?

Come on. It will be so much fun.

I'd love to go. I heard that

they're getting a new melon.

Excuse me.

I'll be right back.

Just a second.

Matthew. Hey.

- What's wrong?

- Why did... I didn't want to meet her.

I'm sorry. I just wanted you to get out

and have a good time with a nice girl.

No.

I'm sorry.

He's just a little nervous.

But I really think

that he likes you.

- You think?

- Trust me.

- Call you tomorrow?

- Okay.

Awesome.

- Thanks for the pudding!

- Sure!

I'm sorry. I just wanted you

to have a good time.

I really think a girl would make

a big difference in your life.

Give you a little confidence.

Why don't you make a list of all the

qualities you're looking for in a girl...

and then I could go scout around

for the perfect one?

Or maybe you could just tell me

to f*** off.

Yeah. That.

It's okay. It's just me.

I'm going to sleep in here tonight so

you can get used to being around a girl.

Just think of it as therapy.

Okay.

Good night.

Jesus, you look like sh*t.

Get up. Got to go.

What the hell is this?

Did you make this thing?

Yeah.

It's the inside of my head.

You probably shouldn't

advertise that.

Hey, listen.

I can cover for you for a couple days,

then I'm really going to need you back.

All right?

Seriously? I'm the first girl

who's ever been in your room?

What about at school?

I did have a lab partner over

a few times freshman year.

Okay.

Did you kiss her?

Once.

Then what happened?

I got the feeling

I wasn't very good at it.

Mostly because she told me

and then she dropped the class.

What? She's so rude...

Henry. Henry.

Hi.

How are you?

Do we have any waffles?

Yeah. I think there's a couple

boxes in the freezer.

Is there anything else you want?

That I can get for you?

No. I'm good.

"Our step-by-step guide to..."

"Married and divorced women are

precluded from taking their vows."

Goddammit!

Hey.

Hey.

Are we still together?

Annie asked about you today.

Why are you...

She wants to know

if you like her.

Yes. No. I don't...

What are you doing?

Matthew.

We're going to have sex.

I think once we get you past your

first time, you're going to be fine.

Why are you doing this?

Because you need me to.

Do you think you can go to the

store and get me some more beer?

We're out.

Yeah. I mean, yes. Yes.

Thanks.

Hey.

Need another pack?

Here.

Thanks.

I like your robe.

I'm sorry,

did you say something?

Your robe. I like it.

Some summer, huh?

I suppose.

Hey, do you mind if I come up?

It's just kind of hard

to talk like this.

Okay.

Yeah? Okay.

I came up to tell you that

smoking is bad for you.

What?

It looks exactly like

I thought it would.

That's rare... when a place

lives up to your imagination.

I'm sorry. You must think

I'm a little off.

You must think I'm a little off.

No. No, I've never really been

one to make judgments.

People are usually too busy

making them about me.

People drive by this window

and they slow down...

and look up like there's going

to be something to see.

Yeah? Moon the bastards.

I was thinking about getting a

recording of a woman screaming...

and blasting it out the window.

Let me know. I could hook you up.

I got a pretty decent sound system.

We could rig up a dummy,

give it a wig...

and you could chuck it out the

window when the cars go by.

Well, I guess

I should get going.

Thanks for the cigarettes.

Yeah, any time.

Just call me.

Seriously, it's 68-GRASS.

It's easy.

I asked the phone company

for it specially.

Oh, because you do lawns.

That, too.

See you.

So, now that you've done it,

how do you feel?

Are you a new man today?

I think we might

have to do it again.

Just to make sure

that I got it right.

Once is a lesson.

Twice is a relationship.

And I'm still in love

with Henry.

Ready to go with Annie now?

Did she even like me?

Of course she did. She's all

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