Crazy on the Outside Page #7

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[Pats Bench]

- Yeah, let me go pee first.

- Oh, pee in the azaleas.

he kids do.

I think Grandma does too.

And then come sit down.

Stay out here with me.

It's such a beautiful day.

[Chuckles]

Little brother.

All right.

Okay. All right.

I'm just gonna-

Is there some reason

you don't want me going

into the house?

Don't be ridiculous.

Why wouldn't I want you

to go in the house?

She's up. She wants you.

She's not the only one.

Ah-

- Oops.

- What's going on?

[Scoffs]

[Grandma]

Viki!

I'II be right there.

Viki!

What's going on?

Nothing. She's fine. She fainted.

- She fainted.

- Yeah. Apparently she got

some upsetting news.

Vik?

When I got home, she was

on the phone with Air France.

She was gonna

take us all to Paris

to see Simone's launch.

Your fiancee.

he French astronaut.

Vik, I know who

the heck Simone is!

Hey, hey, come on.

God, ommy. She was

reading out the last three digits

of her MasterCard.

I had to stop her.

I told her there was

a practice launch today...

and the whole rocket blew up.

Bad fuel mix, faulty wiring.

Simone didn't make it.

What are you guys, on crack?

She didn't make it?

Yeah.

She didn't exist!

Grammy. Grammy, it's me.

Are you okay?

Guys, let me handle this

for a minute here.

ey, I heard you fainted.

Are you okay?

Oh, my poor ommy.

I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna be okay.

Such a tragedy.

Such a waste.

Will you bring the body here?

Is there a body?

[Moans]

Je suis tres triste.

What are you saying?

What's she saying?

"I am very sad."

Mon coeur. Mon coeur.

La douleur.

er heart. er heart.

he pain.

Christ, boy!

Didn't you pick up any French?

[Clears hroat]

[Exhales]

[Birds Twittering]

- Beautiful!

- [Gasps]

F***!

I beg your pardon?

Edgar?

I'm sorry about

the language, ma'am,

but you scared the sh*t

right out of my ass.

[Sighs]

Mrs. Pierce,

uh, we're just about finished.

You guys have done

a really great job.

I appreciate that.

We all appreciate that.

ow would you feel

about doing the upstairs?

Um, I think we'd feel fine

about that.

Well, great.

We'll finish up in here,

and I'll give you an estimate.

Wonderful. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Pow!

[Rings]

ello.

ey, ngela. It's me, ommy.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

Oh. No. Hi.

Uh, no, we're just on our way

to a birthday party.

[Ethan]

I don't even like that kid!

Uh, what's up?

Great news.

Mrs. Pierce asked us

to paint the upstairs.

hat is great.

Well, I just wanted you

to be the first to know.

[Hands Slapping Hands]

Uh, uh, bye.

[Hands Slapping Face]

Hey, fellas!

Hey.

Oh. Not bad.

She just wants a color change.

Gotta prep these walls.

I'll run down

and get some primer.

ey, ommy,

thanks for making us

a part of this.

A couple of mutts like us

with real jobs. Sure beats workin'

at the prison paint shop.

- ey, you're welcome, man.

- Yeah, I'm never gonna

forget this, Tommy.

Some day I'm gonna do

something to pay you back.

Something big.

hanks, Edgar. You can start

by moving the dresser.

I'll be right back.

Come on.

What do you mean, "Come on"?

I'm comin'.

So what's this big thing?

What big thing?

his big thing

you're gonna do for ommy.

How the hell should I know?

Would you get off

my back already?

I mean, what are you gonna do?

You gonna show him

how nice you can dance?

You gonna dance for him, Edgar?

ey, you know something?

Why do you got a problem

with every frickin' thing I do?

Friggin'?

Frickin'. Yeah. Frickin'.

Damn.

[Engine Stops]

i.

i. What are you doing here?

Well, I wa- I was driving home

and I knew what time you got off.

nd I'm not stalking you

or anything.

[Laughs]

So, anyway,

I just timed it out

and I guess-

Oh, okay, I guess

I am stalking you.

[Exhales]

You wanna come in?

Oh, uh, no.

Ethan's- I can't.

Ethan's asleep in the car.

Yeah, yeah.

Just crack the window

and lock the door.

No. L-I just came

to say something,

and I wanted

to say it in person.

All right.

So, here we are in person,

and here it is.

You are different.

I don't know

how much different,

but you are.

No, you are.

And I know

he likes you, and-and-

and that's very important,

but he's never been

burned romantically

by someone like you.

I mean-

I don't mean to call you-

I'm sorry. No, no,

I don't mean to call you

"someone like you,"

because you're nothing

like something like

someone like you.

And l-I don't even know

if "romantic" is the-

I'm not even sure

that "romantic"

is the right word.

And, uh, right now

I'm not even sure that-

I don't even know

what the hell

I'm doing here. I'm-

I wish that cleared

things up. I'm still-

Do you- Do you-

Do you wanna come over

for dinner tomorrow night?

Are-Are you sure

you wanna do this?

No.

I'll be there at 8:00.

Great.

Okay.

Great.

[Sighs]

[Engine Starts]

[Clears Throat]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Car Departing]

[ommy]

I can't work tonight.

And why not?

[ommy]

Because I have a date.

Dear, would you

get me that nice syrup

I like in my coffee...

that makes it taste so good?

Oh. hank you, dear.

Uh-uh-uh.

So good on a cold evening.

It's August.

All right, fine.

his helps. It just does.

I'm upset about Simone

and what it's done to ommy.

senseless tragedy.

wo shattered lives.

Yeah. Love is easy

when you're this pretty.

ow do I look? Huh?

You're going out?

Grief counselor, Grammy.

e's going to see

his grief counselor.

Oh.

For my grief.

['60s Pop]

[Man]

here's a kind of hush

All over the world tonight

All over the world

You can hear the sounds

of lovers in love

You know what I mean

[Knocks]

Just the two of us

And nobody else in sight

[Ends]

You son of a b*tch!

I go out on a limb for you,

and this is how you pay me back?

ey, hey, hey, hey.

What are you talking about?

Oh! Oh, don't bullshit me.

Where's the ring?

What ring?

Judge Pierce just called.

is wife's diamond ring is gone.

So, give it back.

I didn't take it.

Oh, brilliant. Just brilliant.

Believe me, this had

nothing to do with me.

All right, just get it back,

ommy, tonight,

or the judge will call the police.

[Voice Cracking]

I bought you a couple of hours.

God knows why.

his has nothing

to do with me.

I didn't do this.

I am such an idiot!

[Exhales]

[Chattering]

[Manager]

Cancel all orders for

the Octo-pounder with cheese.

No more. None.

Oh, thank God you're here.

Your two friends are gone.

What?

hey abandoned ship.

Grab your uniform.

- Figures.

- Wait!

Arr! Welcome

to Pirate Burger.

May I take your order?

Yeah. Frigate Fries.

Wonderful choice.

ey. ey, Rick.

ey, ommy. It's ommy.

ey, ommy, we've been

waiting for your phone call.

Listen, remember

that big thing that we said

we was gonna do for you?

We? hat was my-

All right. hat Edgar said

he was gonna do for you?

- Well, it's all done, man.

- [Both Arguing]

- Just tell me where that ring is.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

So you haven't got it yet?

Just tell me

where that ring is.

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