Creatures from the Pink Lagoon Page #5

can resist Judy Garland.

Oh.

No need to thank me, child.

I'm sorry, Stan.

It'sjust...

Did we lose Phillip, honey?

Oh no, nothing like that.

Bobby was there.

Oh no!

And was he...?

Yep.

- And he tried to...?

- Uh huh.

- But the music?

- Yeah.

And nowthey're...?

You got it.

Oh, Joseph.

I'm sorry.

Of all the beaches on all the

pink lagoons in all the world,

he lurches onto ours.

Listen, honey, nobody wants

them together less than me.

That Bobby's a real louse.

But Phillip's in love,

and to him

that rest-stop trolling,

ex-zombie boyfriend ofhis

might as well be Rock Hudson.

But he's so wrong for him!

Sure, you and I both knowthat.

But Phillip's got to

figure that out for himself.

Nowwhy don't you

come inside

and I'll fix you

some chocolate milk?

No, thanks.

I think I'mjust

gonna pack up and go.

Surprise!

What do you think?

It's... a picture of you.

Yeah.

The frame set me back

a fewbucks,

but I've got a bunch ofthose

snapshots lying around.

Nowyou can quit your

bellyaching about howyou

never get to see me, cookie.

Bobby, it's a lovely photograph.

Really, it is.

But I just think...

maybe we should...

Bobby... l'm breaking up

with you.

Yeah, right.

Nowhow's about

a birthday kiss?

Bobby, I'm serious.

It'sjust not working out

between us.

You see, Bobby...

I need someone brave.

Someone loyal.

Someone who treats me the way

I deserve to be treated.

Not a Rest Stop Bonnie.

Betty.

Right... Betty.

So you're breaking up with me?

Well ain't that a kick

in the culottes.

I think youjust need to be

on your own, Bobby.

That way you can spend

all the time you want

cruising for anonymous sex,

without worrying about the old

ball and chain back home.

But I want you to know

we can still be friends.

You can come to me

wheneveryou need to talk.

I'll be a sympathetic ear,

a shoulder to cry on,

orjust someone

to shoot the breeze with.

What I'm trying to say is,

just because

we're breaking up doesn't mean

I'm ditching you.

Bobby?

Joseph!

Joseph, hang on!

I didn't get a chance

to thank you.

Thank me?

For what?

What you did back there

was so brave.

You saved my life.

Well, I wasn't gonna let you

get eaten by a zombie.

Wait, you dropped this!

I won't be needing it any more.

Besides, it's broken.

It's nothing a little

rubber cement

and electrician's tape

won't fix.

I guess.

Plus I hear nothing breaks

the ice like water sports!

But what about Bobby?

Oh, Bobby will be fine.

Nowhowabout that game

of squirt tag?

You're on, Phillip.

You're on.

And that's howl got together

with Joseph.

Sure, we were a little battered,

a little shaken -

three of my friends

were eaten by zombies -

But Joseph and I found love!

And in the end, isn't that

what every homosexual wants?

Thisjust in:

Medical authorities have

announced that the

West End Virus is no longer

a public health threat.

Those suffering from the

mysterious ailment have

all shown remarkable recovery

within the past fewhours,

leading town scientists

to believe that it was

no more life-threatening

than the common cold.

Meanwhile, the search

is still on for a handful

oflocal men who have

disappeared this week

under suspicious circumstances.

Police are refusing to

speculate on the possibility

of a connection between the

virus and the disappearances.

We nowreturn you

to ourJudy Garland

weekend marathon,

currently in progress.

Showtunes!

Ugh!

Lfl hear one

more showtune...

I'm gonna eat somebody!

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